Will I ever get a maternal instinct....?

[ISH]

This is starting to worry me more and more. I am not feeling that incredible love for the baby at the moment I want it safe, of course, and we planned it, but somehow the expectation is that if you're pregnant you will be overflowing with maternal love.

All I seem to feel is worry. Will I be able to cope once the baby is here? Will I look like a fat cow, hate myself and never feel attractive again (not that I ever did much!)

Never been very good at waiting, I suppose. I'm sure it will all fall into place once we get to properly meet baby.


(also, I might be in a particularly foul mood because I had 2 muffins and 3 biscuits after dinner last night )

 

[Nic36]

I think it's understandable that you are feeling anxious and worried about how well you might cope once the baby is here - I am exactly the same!

It is the unknown... it will be a total change in lifestyle for us. Although my husband and I have been planning for this little baby for a long time, it is going to be an enormous change for us. Will I be able to cope with the demands of motherhood? Will I be a rubbish Mum? Will I manage to lose the baby weight and get back to looking how I looked before? Will the Baby like me? All these are questions I ask myself daily - and I will not know the answers until after Baby is here!

I think most first time Mums will have these sorts of worries - and it doesn't mean the maternal instinct isn't there - it's just you have so many questions and worries about the unknown. I am certain we will all do our best - there is no such thing as the 'perfect' Mum - but we will all cope in our own ways and, yes, once you see and hold your little one for the first time I am certain everthing will all click into place! Try not to be so hard on yourself!

 

[JoJo79]

Not just first time mums!!! I feel exactly the same, actually resenting the fact im pregnant atm i know thats a horrible thing to say especially as im so lucky but i just cant shake this feeling

 

[pinkyprincess]

Its such a hard thing to go through! We've all got each other for a moan at! Together we'll be fine!

 

[ISH]

Its such a hard thing to go through! We've all got each other for a moan at! Together we'll be fine!

So true My OH would probably resign the job if he had to hear all this!

 

[pinkyprincess]

Its such a hard thing to go through! We've all got each other for a moan at! Together we'll be fine!

So true My OH would probably resign the job if he had to hear all this!

Totally with you on that! Mine moans enough as it is and he doesnt hear half of it!

 

[saraian26]

I ve had 3 kids already and I loved them all firecely from the moment I knew I was carrying them - but this one....I feel nothing for. Its cruel and I hate feeling like this. Will I cope? with a lot of help and support from family with the other children. So jojo I know how your feeling and totally understand. My Riley was meant to be my last baby and I was at peace and all ready for just rasing the kids as a family of 5....6 im totally unprepared for. I hope my babys gender scan next week will pull me together emotionally.

 

[JoJo79]

I ve had 3 kids already and I loved them all firecely from the moment I knew I was carrying them - but this one....I feel nothing for. Its cruel and I hate feeling like this. Will I cope? with a lot of help and support from family with the other children. So jojo I know how your feeling and totally understand. My Riley was meant to be my last baby and I was at peace and all ready for just rasing the kids as a family of 5....6 im totally unprepared for. I hope my babys gender scan next week will pull me together emotionally.

Thank you think its maybe cos i was so undecided bout having another one (and i know should have been careful)

I think its just cos i feel so crap all of the time nothing specific prob not even pregnancy related just wishing i wasnt in this situation, i dont mean to upset anyone with what im saying and i know once bubs is here it'll be different i just cant seem to feel a bond this time round xx

 

[saraian26]

Its true isnt it, be careful, after how long it took me to concieve riley I never thought id get pregnant unprotected!

Hmm yeah and im paying the price now - getting sterlized a few months after the birth to make sure this dont happen again!

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

Hmm.
Comparing myself to how I am now, and how I was when Grace wasn't 'Grace' and she was just an 'it', I wasn't as lovable to her as I am now I'm sure you'll feel more love for him/her soon, especially when they're kicking away. Those movements never fail to make me smile!

xxx

 

[ISH]

I think I might start to develop much more of a connection once I find out if it's a boy or a girl, start thinking of names, buy clothes, etc....

Also, it would really help if the baby stopped making me so sick all the time, arghhh!

 

[redbear]

ISH- I feel the same i have picked names and buy things but i think we spent so long trying that it all seems a bit unreal i was just thinking we would go on trying longer lol.... I don't think it helps that im so sick and tired and feeling like crap that i dont really have time to enjoy been pregnant (does that make sense?) I see some other lasses i know who are pregnant and there saying 'i love my bump? baby so much' blah blah blah and im like :S I like my baby... i sort of get on with it now and again but love!?! No way.... i feel terrible for it lol!


BTW on a different point on your Pic you are so god dam beautiful!!! Seriously i hope you take this in a good way but you look like the lass off how i met your mother who Ted was with for a while http://xfinitytv.comcast.net/blogs/files/2010/09/RadnorJMo.jpg But even better looking than that... i wouldn't worry about how you look after with a face like that no one will look at your belly! Im very jealous!

 

[ippa]

Just thought I would jump in even though I'm not pregnant!
But when I was I didn't feel much love towards matthew, even after finding out he was a boy, or even after my 4d scan! But as soon as I saw him after he was born (even though he was covered in tubes) I felt the most overpowering surge of love!
I love him more and more everyday now! And he is almost 7 months old!
So don't worry hun, I'm sure it will happen for you aswell! I wouldn't worry, when you see your baby 'properly alive' for the first time you will be head over heals!!
Take care
XxX

 

[saraian26]

Just thought I would jump in even though I'm not pregnant!
But when I was I didn't feel much love towards matthew, even after finding out he was a boy, or even after my 4d scan! But as soon as I saw him after he was born (even though he was covered in tubes) I felt the most overpowering surge of love!
I love him more and more everyday now! And he is almost 7 months old!
So don't worry hun, I'm sure it will happen for you aswell! I wouldn't worry, when you see your baby 'properly alive' for the first time you will be head over heals!!
Take care
XxX

Thats good to know, I know it will come but im just wishing it would happen now if that makes sense? It makes you question about whether youl love your child unconditionally - even though I know I will from the others.

 

[ISH]

ISH- I feel the same i have picked names and buy things but i think we spent so long trying that it all seems a bit unreal i was just thinking we would go on trying longer lol.... I don't think it helps that im so sick and tired and feeling like crap that i dont really have time to enjoy been pregnant (does that make sense?) I see some other lasses i know who are pregnant and there saying 'i love my bump? baby so much' blah blah blah and im like :S I like my baby... i sort of get on with it now and again but love!?! No way.... i feel terrible for it lol!


BTW on a different point on your Pic you are so god dam beautiful!!! Seriously i hope you take this in a good way but you look like the lass off how i met your mother who Ted was with for a while http://xfinitytv.comcast.net/blogs/files/2010/09/RadnorJMo.jpg But even better looking than that... i wouldn't worry about how you look after with a face like that no one will look at your belly! Im very jealous!

It doesn't help that my OH is treating the baby like some sort of disease which is making me sick and grumpy I suppose so am I, on occasion, but I can't help but feel like you, I would probably be enjoying myself so much more if it weren't for the nausea.

How could I take THAT in a bad way? It made my morning! You are too kind, I'm blushing furiously

 

[redbear]

ISH- I feel the same i have picked names and buy things but i think we spent so long trying that it all seems a bit unreal i was just thinking we would go on trying longer lol.... I don't think it helps that im so sick and tired and feeling like crap that i dont really have time to enjoy been pregnant (does that make sense?) I see some other lasses i know who are pregnant and there saying 'i love my bump? baby so much' blah blah blah and im like :S I like my baby... i sort of get on with it now and again but love!?! No way.... i feel terrible for it lol!


BTW on a different point on your Pic you are so god dam beautiful!!! Seriously i hope you take this in a good way but you look like the lass off how i met your mother who Ted was with for a while http://xfinitytv.comcast.net/blogs/files/2010/09/RadnorJMo.jpg But even better looking than that... i wouldn't worry about how you look after with a face like that no one will look at your belly! Im very jealous!

It doesn't help that my OH is treating the baby like some sort of disease which is making me sick and grumpy I suppose so am I, on occasion, but I can't help but feel like you, I would probably be enjoying myself so much more if it weren't for the nausea.

How could I take THAT in a bad way? It made my morning! You are too kind, I'm blushing furiously

Yeh my hubby has been good apart from he stresses out when i don't want to eat or pick what i want for tea...

I told him i think of the baby as a puppy that has pissed in my shoe -
you can't be mad at the puppy because its a puppy or dislike the puppy and it can't help pissing --but at the same time you don't love the puppy because all it does is piss your my shoe at the minute.
He looked at me like i was mental... it made perfect sence to me!

Writting it down it is pritty stupid!!! lmao

Well i saw your pic and was like - she looks like someone and then remembered who - probably because i was watching it last night-

 

[ISH]

ISH- I feel the same i have picked names and buy things but i think we spent so long trying that it all seems a bit unreal i was just thinking we would go on trying longer lol.... I don't think it helps that im so sick and tired and feeling like crap that i dont really have time to enjoy been pregnant (does that make sense?) I see some other lasses i know who are pregnant and there saying 'i love my bump? baby so much' blah blah blah and im like :S I like my baby... i sort of get on with it now and again but love!?! No way.... i feel terrible for it lol!


BTW on a different point on your Pic you are so god dam beautiful!!! Seriously i hope you take this in a good way but you look like the lass off how i met your mother who Ted was with for a while http://xfinitytv.comcast.net/blogs/files/2010/09/RadnorJMo.jpg But even better looking than that... i wouldn't worry about how you look after with a face like that no one will look at your belly! Im very jealous!

It doesn't help that my OH is treating the baby like some sort of disease which is making me sick and grumpy I suppose so am I, on occasion, but I can't help but feel like you, I would probably be enjoying myself so much more if it weren't for the nausea.

How could I take THAT in a bad way? It made my morning! You are too kind, I'm blushing furiously

Yeh my hubby has been good apart from he stresses out when i don't want to eat or pick what i want for tea...

I told him i think of the baby as a puppy that has pissed in my shoe -
you can't be mad at the puppy because its a puppy or dislike the puppy and it can't help pissing --but at the same time you don't love the puppy because all it does is piss your my shoe at the minute.
He looked at me like i was mental... it made perfect sence to me!

Writting it down it is pritty stupid!!! lmao

Well i saw your pic and was like - she looks like someone and then remembered who - probably because i was watching it last night-

That reminds me: I AM a bad mummy!!! I wasn't that crazy about our puppy when we first got her, because she was a poo/wee machine, and seemed to think our clean kitchen was her loo. Not her fault, obviously, but I was at my wits' end.

She is my little angel now, but it took a bit of getting used to.

 

[redbear]

Yeh thats what im like with the baby... it makes me so sick but it can't help it and i will love it but at the minute im just too ill to love it lol.... god i sound terrible lol x

 

[Cazza]

I think I might start to develop much more of a connection once I find out if it's a boy or a girl, start thinking of names, buy clothes, etc....

Also, it would really help if the baby stopped making me so sick all the time, arghhh!

Once again ................ SNAP!!!

I will admit that I'm not the maternal type, I never had longed to hold anyones baby or wanted everyone elses children around me for long, but I am sure I'll be different with my own!!!

My lovely friend has 3 girls and she really is the same!!

I think it will kick it when they arrive...............or when I stop feeling so damned ill, whichever comes first!!!