Why does it seem harder every month ! Cycle 25 starts now! :(

[greekgirl84]

Hi ,
Just need to have a moan... Started spotting today ( 4 days early) - not usually a spotter but AF pains as standard from yesterday . Feel like a let down . How can I not be able to conceive yet everyone who isn't trying around me 'accidentally' becomes pregnant and rubs their scans and bumps in my face! Fake smile is becoming an art. Finally told oh I'm spotting early and has said we will go to docs and won't are no for an answer . Anyone who has seen my threads before will know doc told me to just go home and get pregnant when I went to see him in nov when bloods came bk normal ... Just feel he will fob us off and not sure what we can do if he does ... Feel I will just hit a brick wall with my doc and feel like he won't refer us or help us get to the next step . TTC hast amen over my life . Maybe giving up will get me my life back and facing reality may be better ... Adoption has crossed my mind but I just want to experience being pregnant as selfish as that sounds . I love the thought of having a bump ...

 

[Alwaystrying]

Hi ya, I know exactly how you feel you do think "why me, what have I done to deserve this"
I started spotting a little 7 days ago and have had period cramps so know it's on it's way, 2 days late now and wish it would just hurry up.

How long have you actually been trying for? If longer than 2 years doc needs to refer you, I unfortunately need to go for IVF, and due to my other half having a child with a previous partner I am not covered by the NHS. I booked an appointment directly myself, having to pay but I can't burry my head in the sand and pretend everything is ok

I would speak to your doc again and if you get no where ask for a second opinion, question is your GP a man?

 

[greekgirl84]

Thanks for your reply . Yeah feels so rubbish woke up today feeling like I have been kicked in the teeth again ! Feel empty. My gp is a bloke, felt patronised when he told me to go home and get pregnant. We are gng bk next week with hubby when we both have a day off together and if he refuses to refer us I will change doctors . He hasn't been great last few yrs with some health issues I had so hubby has wanted me to change for a while . Just feel worn out and defeated . 2 yrs of getting AF and feeling a let down

 

[greekgirl84]

Sorry how long have you been trying and what have you had prior to ivf ?

 

[Alwaystrying]

I have been trying for just over 2 years, but I know I would potentially have problems from the age of 14, I had some problems with my cycles back then so had an operation to investigate, I only have one working tube and even that one is slightly curved, this was all down to an internal infection after my appendix burst

I would definitely ask to be referred 2 years is a long time, there is no reason not to be referred after all this time, in my experience men GP,s are not always the most understanding in these situations

Good luck at the docs Hun, don't take no for an answer xx

 

[lupilu]

Oh hun, if your gp is being a git, and he is, change doctors. I'm really lucky, my gp is marvellous, a woman, and overweight like me, so doesn't immediatly put my problems down to weight, though she's realistic about my chances of being approved for fertility because of my weight. I'd change docs, get rid, he's rubbish, as long as it's down on your records that you've been trying and even if it wasn't. I didn't tell my doctor I was trying to concieve until I approached her about help and she sorted it out straight away.

Good luck.

 

[ScotchEgg]

remember what you're entitled to, and don't either of you leave that GP's office without a referral

 

[greekgirl84]

I was told when I was younger I would be unlikely to fall pregnant as I had anorexia for Years! Parents tried to get me help but I knew every trick in the book and always managed to trick te docs when being weighed . Still under 8 stone at 27 which I'm sure is prob an issue but my body don't sustain weight. But as my
Bloodtest came bk ok I presumed that it hadn't affected me
Like I was told.
So I am calling Monday for an appointment for thrs when both me and the oh are both off work ( I'm a part time teacher ) . We will ask for a second opinion if we don't get answers we want!
So ladies help : what can I ask for ??? I want my oh to have sperm test then I want tests on me but not sure what I can ask for?
What is the route , what are te requirements for ivf etc ? Help I feel naive and want to be clued up so he doesn't send me away again x

 

[PyscoFalcon]

*hugs*
Sometimes you really do feel like ripping your hair out and screaming at the top of your lungs.
I didn't really get much help and all test I needed until I snapped whilst at the gyno - I'd had enought and was so annoyed, frustrated and upset I almost ripped his head off them after doing that broke down crying.

Soon got all the tests I needed hehe.
Hope it doesn't come to that with you. Clearly state what you want and why

PS Hubby only got tested when my bloods came back with PCOS for me to make sure it was only me with the problem. Dunno how it works for *normal* ladies sorry!

 

[LD1978]

Ahh Hun I know how you feel. I'm 10dpo today and once again the spotting has started. I could just cry and hubby never seems bothered - he just thinks its time. I'm so scared something is wrong and the spotting isn't normal but have to hold out for my first appt now. Does this ever get easier?? Plus I've a baby shower in April and hubby's sisters in law both due in a matter of months. Its only been 13 cycles for me which is nothing compared to you.

I really take my hat off to lou and other ladies that always remain positive and go through so much.

I just don't ever seem me getting my bfp.

Sorry ladies feel so down today.
Definitely be firm with your doc Greek girl - its your rights xx

 

[Gizzy Kelly]

Greek girl you are more than entitled to be refered now to your local
Nhs hospital. GP must write a letter after u have been trying for 12 months. Hubby will need 2 seman samples done, one month apart, and you will need an internal scan done to check your ovaries to rule out pcos, fibroids, endo etc and your womb, then after that you will need either a HSG or hycosy which checks for any blockages on your tubes. Only then will you get referred on for IUI or IVF. Get referred now hon because these things take time. The alternative is to go private like we did, as you could get all this done now and if you need to be refered for IVF they will accept all your private results. Don't leave until u get that referral. Good luck xxx if u want the details of private clinics pm me xxx

 

[greekgirl84]

Thanks ladies really helps to hear your experiences. Kelly can u let me know private clinic u used , I will go gp thurs and see what happens if I don't feel I will move quick enough I will definitely move things
Privately! What's the criteria for Ivf etc? Scotch egg I think I remember reading u are at 2 yr stage of
I'm not mistaken and about to get Ivf. What have u had previously of u don't mind me asking .

 

[Gizzy Kelly]

I used create health in Harley street they were fab but we found out we get three goes on the nhs so we got referred to herts and Essex. In order to qualify for IVF you have to be under 40, no children from this relationship or any previous relationship and actively TTC for 3 years if you have unexplained infertility. If there is an issue then I do not think they apply the 3 years but u will see from this forum that the waiting times vary greatly in the uk. Get the ball rolling now xxx

 

[ScotchEgg]

We're about 20 months TTC (although 2 1/2 years NTNP before, but I haven't even mentioned that to the docs)

We have male factor. My full story's in my journal on the journals page, in the first page. But in summary bloods were ok then sperm test was very bad and on the back of that we've basically been pushed straight through - consultant, loads more tests and straight onto IVF with ICSI (only treatment in our situation)

It really does depend on your area and your situation though

 

[PyscoFalcon]

I'm under the Herts and Essex and Princess ALexandrea in Harlow and been with them for 3 years. I have 2 more cycles to go before they put me forward for IVF and I have PCOS so it's probs 2 to 3 years for you as they'll want to double and triple check with all tests, scans, lap and dye op etc.

 

[greekgirl84]

Thanks all for your advice. He simply did blood test and said as that was fine I was to go home and get pregnant so I wanted to be ready for him and tell him what I feLt we deserved . It's been a long two years and I just want to move forward and feel I have a chance at getting something done about it . I want hope of a lo . At the moment I feel I kid myself even thinking I can do it . I work with kids as I am a teacher and my life is all about children but I just want to experience a child of my own . I will see what happens on Thursday ... And will update on what he says and no doubt need more advice . We are both 28 and have no children together or otherwise so i am hoping things move forward quite quickly. Hubby is willing to do whatever it takes to get us our little bean . I just feel scared of him sending us away. What happens then ? Who do I turn to ? How can you question their professional judgement ?