Why am I like this??

[wannabe.pg]

Ok, i'm 37 years old and only recently got married and we are now TTC for the very first time. The trouble is, I do all the calculations on when we should BD and at the time I am 100% hoping we made a baby and that this month it will be "IT"

Then AF is late. I wait a week and she still dont arrive. But I dont get excited, my mind fills with terrror and I wait and wait and refuse to POAS as I know AF will come and eventually she does and I am relieved.

A couple of times i've actually got to the point where I have made myself POAS and whilst waiting my whole body is shaking and i'm terrified and wishing it to be a BFN. Then when it is i'm gutted!

I really do want to be a mummy so why am I like this?

(BTW, i'm now a week late and no sign of AF but dont want to test hehe )


Anyone else like this?

 

[FirstBabyEek]

I was like that when I fell pg. I was dreading it being a bfp for some unknown and it took me a few weeks to get my head round actually getting a positive. Believe me though, that all changes when you see you LO on your first scan, its amazing. I think its perfectly normal to feel the way you do.

Good luck
xx

 

[tweetyfoo]

I was a bit like this as well ... I think its years and years of trying not to get pregnant iykwim.

Its inbuilt in your brain that a positive pregnancy test is bad, and also the knowledge that your life is going to change forever.

I'm 29 and married and I still feel like the 16 year old who got pregnant!?

 

[mrz85]

I was the same my heart used to pound like mad when i tested so when I did get the bfp u can imagine lolx

 

[wannabe.pg]

Thanks everyone, i'm glad there are others out there who feel the same. I'm now a week and a half late but not going to test until Saturday if AF hasnt come and visited by then!!!

I may put it off though!! hehe!!

 

[Katkin72]

Hi wannabe, I got married in June 2011 and will be 40 in a few weeks time. We are trying for our 1st baby too. I am desperate to get my BFP and am gutted every cycle when it doesn't happen, but each time I am also terrified when I test that it will be a positive lol. I know that when I do fall pregnant, and it sinks in I will be over the moon (and still terrified!!)

 

[wannabe.pg]

Thanks for that KatKin, I think i'm more worried about the doctors/midwives/blood tests/scans than anything else, oh and the giving birth bit (cant forget that tiny thing!) so I think I am relieved that I dont have to go through all that YET when I get a BFN.

Its nice to know there are more people in the same terrified but gutted boat as me and yes, I think once I get that BFP and it sinks in, I will be over the moon too, AF is so late this month that I should really test but I keep thinking she'll come along soon! I have absolutely zero pregnancy symptoms at all (I cant even trick myself into thinking I do) well, apart from the missing AF of course!!!

Good luck and please keep in touch with how you are getting on xx

 

[Katkin72]

Thanks for that KatKin, I think i'm more worried about the doctors/midwives/blood tests/scans than anything else, oh and the giving birth bit (cant forget that tiny thing!) so I think I am relieved that I dont have to go through all that YET when I get a BFN.

Its nice to know there are more people in the same terrified but gutted boat as me and yes, I think once I get that BFP and it sinks in, I will be over the moon too, AF is so late this month that I should really test but I keep thinking she'll come along soon! I have absolutely zero pregnancy symptoms at all (I cant even trick myself into thinking I do) well, apart from the missing AF of course!!!

Good luck and please keep in touch with how you are getting on xx

Yeah, I know what you mean - I am absolutely TERRIFIED about being pregnant and all the tests, scans and of course the really scary bit, giving birth!! I have such a low pain threshold the whole thing fills me with dread lol. I'm sure I am not alone in feeling like this but I am so scared I will worry myself sick throughout the whole 9 months! BUT I guess as you have such a wonderful result at the end of it all, all of this is worth it!
Sending you lots of baby dust, and courage lol xxxxx

 

[Iwant3]

I have been pregnant twice now - with 2 lovely children.....and I love the feeling of testing, visiting midwives, tests, scans the lot -I love the whole process and I am not scared of giving birth I am actually looking forward to doing it again

I am really impatient to get trying and testing etc and cannot wait for my BFP, BUT.......the thing that I am most scared of and that I dread is getting morning sickness again I had it with my daughter but not my son, so that is my biggest fear, I had it form 6weeks to 23 weeks and had an awful taste in my mouth until I gave birth which I could not shift with anything and had lots of food I couldn't face etc.

so for me I am going to be over the moon with a bfp and then scare d stiff the sickness will start........