When are you telling friends?

[Daydreaming]

So the age old question of "when do I tell people"?

Hubs reckons we should wait for the 12 week scan, he doesn't know why - but just feels we should. Whilst I want to tell all our friends, I feel terribly having to lie about not going out (because if I do go out they will guess why I'm not having a drinky).

We have told our closest family but noone else (not even one of my brothers because he is a blabber-mouth!).

So I was wondering when are you telling people and why did you pick then?

 

[Mummytoo2boys]

I got an early scan at 6 weeks then told close family then at about 8 weeks I told all my friends xx

 

[TaffyRose]

So far we've told both sets of parents (just) and both our brothers and sisters, but that'll be it now until the 12 week scan. We weren't going to tell anyone but it got so difficult not to let anything slip we decided to tell our close family. My sister is desperate to tell her kids but I've put my foot down. One because I want to make sure everything's ok and two because it's my good news to tell xxx

 

[kanga86]

We got all excited with my 1st pregnancy and had told everyone by around 9 weeks, given nearly everyone at work knew. Then I sadly had a mmc at 11 weeks. This time we have told hardly anyone, a couple of close friends who I wouldn't be able to lie too and my oh's parents only be use we see them. Although we did wait until we had our early scan before telling them. Xx

 

[Daydreaming]

Kanga - I'm sorry to hear about your mmc last time. I can understand why you wouldn't want to tell people this time around.

Having said that, if we do have any problems (touch wood) I would probably end up telling my friends because I would be too emotional then not too.

Ah, it's so tough!

 

[Maria1977]

Quite a few of our friends know now and all our family know. If the worst happens, it happens and we don't mind people knowing what is happening, it will be good to have a good support network. But it's up to everyone when they tell and I get annoyed when certain family members tell people for us as I feel it is our personal choice to tell people, not theirs (sorry bit of a rant there about family lol)

 

[frankie247]

I'm waiting till 12 weeks for close friends, longer for those I don't talk to often, however got an early scan on Thursday so if that goes well, may tell my parents then!

 

[Florajoy]

We have told close friends and family and alot of people who I work with! This is only because I have been so ill people were starting to get worried about me, and also our parents are spoiling me, which is nice!! I wouldnt mind telling any of the people I have told if something was to happen, I would have told them if something had gone wrong but they didnt know about it anyway! The only person I havent told in my family is my dad.....I only see him once in a blue moon, and havent seen him since being pregnant, and my 6 year old sister as it would be difficult to explain to her if anything went wrong!

 

[mrsblue]

Quite a few of our friends know now and all our family know. If the worst happens, it happens and we don't mind people knowing what is happening, it will be good to have a good support network. But it's up to everyone when they tell and I get annoyed when certain family members tell people for us as I feel it is our personal choice to tell people, not theirs (sorry bit of a rant there about family lol)

I feel exactly the same as you! My hubby got a text from his mum saying "I'm seeing Gran today, do you want to ring her before I tell her your news?" I was SO MAD! Especially as he rang her and told her! If I have a miscarriage, I do not want grandparents knowing. gah! My sis-in-law also put on her FB that she was excited about some family news but couldn't say what it was until another 2 weeks. Pretty obvious as my OH is her only brother. Why do people seem to think that it is their right to tell other people??

Rant over!

 

[kanga86]

i know it is ridiculous at how everyone seems to see as their news to share! I told my great aunt at work, cos we work at the same place and I told her because I didn't want her to find out from the managers or something. I told her to keep quiet as I hadn't told my grandma yet (her sister), but want did she go and do!! Then my grandma proceeded to tell the aunts, uncles and cousins. I also got a private message on facebook from a girl I've not spoken to in years and years, saying that my aunt had told her!!

Hence the not telling anyone really this time, cos people blab so much. It is hard keeping quiet, but the handful of people who know I trust to not say it to anyone else until i'm ready. xx

 

[Kirsty.Y.84]

This gets on my nerves too. A lady at work guessed I was pregnant so I had a quiet word with her and said it was early days so I would rather no one else knew, and then I find out she's rung half the office over the weekend and told them! makes me maaaad! It's my news!!!! x x

 

[babyelmo]

I've told my closest friends and i've had to tell my managers at work as I had to have a risk assessment. I've told my manager that I want to keep it quiet because of last time, but she blabbed that someone else in our department is pregnant too and I hope very much she hasn't let slip about me too. I'll be really cross if she has, mainly because if anything goes wrong I dont want lots of sympathy as that seems to make it worse.
I dont understand why people think its their business to tell others!

 

[MrsT2011]

I'm worried about people blabbing too.
I'm struggling with manual handling at work as theres quite alot but if I stop doing normal duties people will guess! Also one of the girls I work with has family that are close friends of my family and you know how news can spread!

Dilemma!

 

[Loula]

i havent told many people, my mum,babys dad,the nurses i used to work with coz i needed advice and support and my auntie, am 12 weeks tomorrow but will wait til the scan next week, did want to break it to everyone at the dinner table at xmas but i wont be able to hide it til then.

Im more scared on telling work coz ive only been there a month xxxx

 

[littlesmoosh]

im only 8 weeks and ive told the whole world. mainly because im terrible at keeping secrets! i juswt get too excited. but honestly i feel great that everyone knows! ive had so many people congratulating me, complimenting me, looking out for me, being extra careful around me! just feels really nice to know people care. i know things could go wrong. but if they do then at least people will know to give me my space, and to be there for me when i need them. the support is great. xx

 

[jacy90]

I think its really down to who you feel comfortable telling.
Last year, we had a mc, but when we first found out we were pregnant, we were so excited we told everyone. It was so hard to 'untell' everyone when we lost her, and I found everyone very overwhelming. This time round we've just told our close friends (another couple), for support and to moan at about symptoms mainly lol! We'll tell everyone else after our scan, so we know everything's ok. I think that if it happened again (God forbid), I'd tell my parents then, but we're just trying not to get toooo excited just in case (althought its very hard!!!) Tbh, I can't believe Ive kept my mouth shut for this long lol! xx

 

[Sam's Mum]

We've told a few close friends and family (just people we've seen) but I want to wait as long as possible to tell the boys x

 

[Daydreaming]

Thanks ladies.

Is a tough choice, but as it is one we have to agree on I will go with Hubs (especially as he is looking after me through the illnesses!). I will have to come out with some more excuses for not drinking and going out. Thankfully I can blame our trip to Egypt for it for now.

And I agree on people sharing the news before you get to tell, this happened with my engagement, everyone knew before I got to tell them.