Whats the best way to tell your kids about birds and bees

[JJ Mum]

Hi all,

I have three kids, ages 11, 9 and 8 , I will tell them I am pregnant once I have had the scan and all is well just incase in a few weeks time.

Thought now would be a good opertunity to tell them about the birds and the bees, and wondered if any of you have any advice on good wording or the best way to tell them. Do you think the same information that In give the 11 year old boy, will be as suitable for the 9 year old boy and 8 year old girl (well 8 next week).

They have all only just had their birthdays recently so young in their age years if that helps.

My main worry is If I tell them , will they end up trying stuff?
I have caught them all in the same room after bedtime before, lying naked, they said they were having sexy cuddles! but really scared me hence delaying it this long to tell them anything!

 

[nancy]

When I was at the library the other day I noticed a book they had all about reproduction which would have been perfect to help you.

My children are all younger so I don't have any experience yet but I would think that they are all old enough to understand and should probably find out from you rather than someone else. I remember boys at school talking about condoms before I even knew what sex was!

I don't personally think that you stand anymore risk of them trying stuff than if you didn't tell them, in fact I'd go as far as to say that a child who feels able to talk to their parents about these things would be less likely to do anything silly. I think my mum told me about the birds and bees when I was about 9 and I wasn't tempted to go and try it.

The one thing I would say though is that if I was in your situation I'd speak to the children individually about it as they are less likely to be embarressed and your daughter will need different guidance to your boys. Your older boy may already know things which you'll probably want to tackle without your other children present.

I hope this helps.
Sarah

 

[DanDecMum]

There is a book called "lets talk about Sex" it is aimed at 8 years + You should give that a try, it is really easy for them to understand and it has lots of easy to understand pictures.

 

[MrsR]

My daughter does a relationship/sex ed class at school (she's 5) but if she asked me something I'd tell her as well as I could given her age. The book idea is good, I remember my mother dodging the birds and bees question and having to find out myself from books. I wish shed been more open with me and I aim to be open with Summer. It's so difficult to know what the 'right' thing to do is and what's right for you and your kids might be wrong for someone else. I'm sure you can use your knowledge of your children and tackle it well in a way that's suitable for you all. Good luck!

 

[JJ Mum]

Thanks lots all, I know I have been daft putting this one, off, so I will do this as soon as we have our scan and all is well. My mum and dad didn't ever speak to me about things, and I wished they had too.
I found out about periods at senior school and was the only one who hadn't started and was staring gawp mouthed at the screen in a whole leacture theatre lesson - So embarressing I was aged 15!!

Thanks for your suggestions, you have been really helpful, I will look for that book to get it ready

 

[pctvruth]

Hey, watching a short, free expert advice film on parentchannel's website about how to approach the birds and bees conversation might be some help. Hope so and good luck!

 

[titch]

This is such atricky one. I actually remember my mum taking to me about this when I was 6 because she was pregnant with my sister. From my memory she told me that grown up ladies have an egg in their tummy every month and most of the time its just an empty egg but when the mummy is ready that grows into a baby. I was quite satisfied with that expanation. It never occured to me to ask why it would grow into a baby one month and not another. But then I was only 6!

My mum said that she and my dad agreed to give us honest answers whenever we asked a question but tried not to add too much information.

I guess with yours they're older so they might ask what prompts an egg to turn into a baby...so youve just gotta be honest without going into details, oh and myself I would be laying on heavy about how this is something adults do when they are ready to be a mummy & daddy!!!

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

There is a book called "lets talk about Sex" it is aimed at 8 years + You should give that a try, it is really easy for them to understand and it has lots of easy to understand pictures.

i think i still have this book somewhere

 

[JJ Mum]

Thanks girls - ordered this book a week or so ago, not arrived yet but looks good on amazon