what should i do?

[weestar21]

Ok heres the story

Me and the OH are in real deep shit we have just sat and worked out all our finances and we are paying out more than we earn. Im fed up living in a private let house that we cannot afford the rent and the council are refusing to give us a house because we arent homeless

I just had sherrif officers at the door with a letter for teh OH. He used to be a bsm driving instructor and he payed £2,500 to do the course and lost 3 jobs while training because of all the time he had to take off during the training. As the cost of losing 3 jobs we got ourselfs into alot of debt wich resolvd us in having to sell our house and thats when we moved here in a private let house thinking it would only be for a few months till he got fully quallified. Last x-mas he was almost finnished his training and bsm offerd him a trainee license where he was self employed and basiclly was a driving instructor.

Things were good for the first few months then it all started going down hill he had to pay £450 a week franchise fees and whatever was left was his. Just before he quit he was only getting maybe 20 hours from it and was left with £30 at the end of the week and it just wasnt possible for us to live on that and he had no other choice but to find a full time job so he handed in his nottice for bsm and everything was fine he started working for a parcel company and hes still there.

Now with this letter he got today BSM are suing us for over £1200 because he didnt give them 3 months nottice which he didnt know about, so not only we cant pay the bills and rent we have now we have this on top of it all.

I called the housing yesterday and now have an appointment to go in on friday to try sort something out.
Im feeling so down today i just wish i could run away from it all but i know that wouldnt solve a thing.

Im sick and tired of this girl accros the back from us screwing the social rotten for everything she can get and gets away with it and we dont even get a penny from them except tax credits and my maternity allowance wich is only £57 a week untill july then it stopps.

Should i risk it and do what everyone else seems to get away with and say hes throwing me and the kids out?

Our relationship is getting worse all we have done this week is argue and its all because of money, its so bad i had to borrow money from his mum to get colby milk and nappies.

I keep telling myself it will get better but all it seems to do is get a million times worse and when i look for help i get told a big fat NO because he works more than 24hrs a week butthey dont take into account how much your having to pay out.

sorry for the moan but i feel like im wedged between to brick walls and they are comming closer and dont know what else we can do

 

[kellie80]

we were in a similar situation last year when we were paying out about £500 more a month than we had coming in and that without shopping, then he lost his drivers license and his job so we were left in £25,000 worth of debt so we had to go bankrupt. This was a last resort and I know its not worth it for a few thousand debt. Have you considered an IVA? Its so hard isn't it, you can't just ignore it cos it just mounts up.

 

[weestar21]

whats an IVA?

We did go for this thing we payed so much each month to this debt company to keep everyone of our backs and they would pay so much to each person it turned out they were only paying a fiver here and there and keeping the rest so it all got worse for us.

My OH has aplied for bankrupt but havent herd anything yet but this was only last week.

Its all getting so much and i fear that me and OH wont make it through this together

 

[kellie80]

Have you been to the CAB they sorted our bankrupcy out for us, the were great. It took about a month to do and get a court date. Here is some info about an IVA which we couldn't do as you have to be working and he had lost his job!

http://www.insolvencyhelpline.co.uk/pay ... cedure.htm

 

[weestar21]

Thanks for that i have saved it to my bookmarks so i can show OH when he gets home

 

[Em78]

So sorry you are having such a rough time right now

i saw a guy on telly the other day who was an expert money guy.

he said the best way to deal if you have lots of repayments to make is to work out how much you can actualy afford to pay to each one each month (ignore what they want you to pay and concentracte on whats feesable) then write to them and tell them with a copy of your ingoings and outgoings and how much you can afford to pay. apparently most companies will go for it as if you end up in bankrupcy they get zilch so at least this way they get their money but slower.

sorry if you've already tried it or its not relevant

x

 

[weestar21]

We have already called them all up and offerd them all £50 each month more than we can afford we got 3 of them to accept but all the others wasnt at least that a week and we just cant do it, Hopefully something will get sorted and soon as i dont want to end up with no relationship and in a homeless unit somewhere with 2 kids.

 

[Em78]

well at least 3 of them accepted it, it may only be a small help but it all helps!

drives me mad how council housing etc gets allocated. so unfair

i really hope things work out - they always do but i'm sure that doesnt help right now does it?

xxxx

 

[weestar21]

not really but i know im not the only one in this situations so it helps a little xxx

 

[nikki1306]

Oh yeah they will refuse your offer but you see the thing is they cant. My oh's dad is a financial adviser so he told us what to do. We owe £25,000 and if your debts are unsecured they have no option but to accept. They send threatening letters,threats of baliffs horrible phone calls allways on your case. I have been in this situation for about 5 years now and with all the crap they give me we just laugh now cause we know they can't touch us.They phone and threaten with court we just say see you there and guess how much i pay them each, £1 a month I told them thats all i can afford they get arsey (just ignore it) they then sell your debt to an agency(ignore them or offer £1)they issue you with a ccj which takes ages,you don't have to go to court just fill out a form and offer them £1. This will be accepted,you never have to pay more than you can afford with these and then after 6 years and 1 month they are wiped from your credit file. I know ignoring things doesn't make them go away but life is to short and i will never pay that lot back. Just remember as long as you keep up rent,tax,water and tv liscence payments you will be fine as you can get in bother if you miss those payments,but as for the rest remember they can't do anything they are unsecured debts as long as you stay strong and take what they tell you with a pinch of salt you will be fine. I pay £5 a month for £25,000 of debt and there is nothing anyone can do about it unless i win the lottery then i might clear it xx

 

[Yvonne]

As long as you are offering them something hun they have to accept it.

My dad has done that, he is paying £2 a month to each of his creditors, they ring him all the time saying the minimum they can accept is £20 blah blah but they forget that people are more wise now to legal rights!!

I would do that hun til you get yourself back on your feet.

Hope you sort it out

 

[weestar21]

Thanx girls i feel so much better today

What pisses me right of now is when we had to sell our house we had only put a £10.000 kitchen into it and got all the drivway done and put pattio doors in so guess what were still paying for the kitchen that we donteven blooming live their anymore and to open the free paper and only to find the house that we done all teh work to is up for sale double the price we got for it!!!!!! Im so tempted to make a viewing to see if theyhave even changed the carpets bet they still even have the bath mats we left

They werent nice people who bought our house but i hope they dont get it sold i know im being a biatch butthey never forwerded us any mail whatsoever and it was only about 3 months ago when the kitchen people turned up at our door wanting their money
and we had moved out a year past in november grrrrrrrrrrrr hate them....lol

anyway thanks again hopefully the housing office will understand our situation and try and help instead of just shruggingtheir shoulders

will let yous know how i get on tomorrow

Thanx again
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[weestar21]

Ok went to the housing on friday and spoke to a hosing officerwho was surprisingly very nice (didnt look at me like i was a piece of shit like most of them do)
basiclly she gave me 2 options
1) to carry on the way we are and hope a house comes available soon
or
2) declare ourselves as homeless and pray we get accepted.

so i decided to go for the homeless option.

what happens now is they have 28 days to come to a descision if we quallify for homeless but still stay where we are at the moment.
If we are accepted then they add 300 points to our50 points and we come top priority in which they have to re house ous within 6 weeks max!

good thing is we dont have to go to a hameless shelter
but bad thing is we could be offerd any house within south Lanarkshire but as long as we at least get a half decent offer then im not botherd where we go i guess.

I have to go back a week on monday (5th of june) for an appointment with the money advice people and once they have all our financial stuff then they will make their descision.

If we dont quallify all we can do is appeal against it and if that fails then basicly were stuck where we are in our situation but it doesnt affect our normal housing applicationsoits all still worrying.

please keep your fingers and toes crossed for us as all we want is for a better chance to be happy and not having all this stress and worry every day and night we wake up and go to bed.

Its really affecting our relationship as my OH thinks im cheating on him wich im not as i couldnt do that im not confident in myself to think he still loves me and he doesnt understand that im still crazy about him.
We did talk last night but not in to much detail but thats when he was asking if ive been cheating and if i still love him and still want to be with him. I told him i havent wanted anything more than to be with him and be happy but then i did say i dont feel like you still feel the same about me then the porn thing came into the convo and he just shut of and that was tehn end of the convo.

Anyway will keep yous posted

Thanx for listening to me moaning again it does help to just blurt it all out

luv jean
xxxxx