What Kind of Mum Will You Be?

[dannii87]

I've decided not to get Evie Christened because I am not religious in the slightest and it would be a farse to get her Christened with no intention of teaching her the faith etc..

..But Noor, I see religion as a lifestyle choice like you said rather than just a religion (if you know what I mean?! lol) because my friend was Muslim and she NEVER talked about their God (I'm so sorry, I don't know who he is ) but she was just like anyone else and was so lovely. Her parents had brought her up really well (if a little strict as she wasn't allowed boyfriends and ended up secretly seeing someone with another religion which was similar but I think it's against the Muslim faith (not quite sure). Her parents refused to let her carry on with this guy and she was (in the words of Cindi Lauper) hidden away from the rest of the world!!

If Evie one day chooses to become Muslim/a JW/Christian or any other religion, I will stand by her as much as I can and support her

xx

 

[nori]

[quote="dannii87"she wasn't allowed boyfriends and ended up secretly seeing someone with another religion which was similar but I think it's against the Muslim faith (not quite sure). Her parents refused to let her carry on with this guy and she was (in the words of Cindi Lauper) hidden away from the rest of the world!!
[/quote]

I had a 2 muslim friends who did exactly the same.. one even ran away and stayed with me for a night. this is when i feel sorry for some children that are bought up in such a strict religious environment (be it muslim, catholic etc..) But Noor.. its sounds like you definately have your head screwed on and will accept whatever religious or non religious path your child decides to take which is great to hear.

We could have a whole thread on this!! lol

Claire x

 

[dannii87]

But Noor.. its sounds like you definately have your head screwed on and will accept whatever religious or non religious path your child decides to take which is great to hear.

We could have a whole thread on this!! lol

Claire x

LOL we could!! I think it would get heated though!

I agree, sometimes I kind of wish I was religious because I like the morals in Christianity (it's the only religion I really understand to be honest ) I think it's great to bring a child into the world with beliefs. And it's also great that you will be relaxed and encouraging Noor xx

 

[Mildly]

I made sure that my OH was clear on the fact that I wouldn't have our kid christened before we started TTC as I don't believe in God. I just couldn't stand up and make the promises about bringing up my child as a christian and say that I believed in God when I didn't - I would feel hypocritical. OH is ok with this even though he believes in God although he is not a church goer or anything like that.

I will make sure Oscar is aware that there are many different religions in life and so if he wants to make the choice to dedicate his life to one of them when he is old enough to choose for himself then that is fine by me.

I always remember from primary school that there was a heavy christian influence i.e. prayers in assembly and before lunch and we were told about bible stories as if they were the truth. I am a little worried about sending Oscar to a C of E primary school if that is still the case. I think this will heavily influence the choice of school that we send him to.

 

[amethyst_echidna]

It's interesting to read these threads on religious upbringings. My husband and I are both atheists and therefore will be teaching our child(ren) about the wonders of the universe from a scientific rather than religious perspective. We feel personally that it's important to raise children to be objective, analytical questioners as opposed to accepting things "on faith value" as we put it (sorry for the terrible pun ). For example we have found some wonderful books explaining evolution to young children and some other really good ones that facilitate questioning and inquiry which we feel is vital to learning of all kinds, religious or otherwise. We feel that this would then mean they were equipped with an inquiring, "neutral" mind as such so that when they are older they can make entirely their own choices without having become biased towards a particular religion. Personally, we feel that even though many Christian or Muslim or Jewish families say that their children can be whatever religion they like when they're older, we've found that it's very difficult to come from a family of strong faith and then change that faith. Of course, to see it from the religious family's perspective it would be difficult *not* to raise your children in a religious way, as that's what their faith tells them to do.

AMETHYST

 

[aramintalovegrove]

Ooh this thread is getting interesting girls

I am not religious and niether is OH but for some reason he thought we would get DS christened I refused on the same grounds as Midly, some of the older people we know told us that DS would only be allowed through the back door if we didnt get him christened WTF!!! (I told them not to hold their breath on ever getting a visit if that was their attitude!!)

Anyways I decided to show Ds all the faiths and let him either choose to be (or not to be) what ever he wanted, we have taken him to mosques, temples, gudrajas (sp?)Churchs, got friends of all different faiths to talk to him about their beliefs and life styles and have given him a few books that go through some of the faiths.

We had a real battle with his school as they ram christianity down their necks even though they are not a faith school and have plenty of kids from different faiths

My Boy fell in love with buddism and has taken meditation lessons and enjoys discussions with the monk at the local temple, we do our best to facilitate this but have said he needs to know alot more about the faith before he can call himself a buddist

 

[dannii87]

My Mum always brought me up to have an opinion (not to bombard people with them though and also to have an opinion when I actually knew what I was talking about and not to have an opinion for the sake of having one lol) so anyway, at school when it was prayer time, I must have been about 8 or 9, I used to lift my head and look around the ceiling when they told us to bow our heads in grace lol

One teacher took me out once and asked why I was not getting involved and I proudly told her that no-one could make me pray to a God that doesn't even exist lol.

Little rogue xx

 

[HideiLu]

I think I will be rewarding when it's due but otherwise, probably pretty 'strict' if that's the right word to use.

We have had my nephew, who is 6, staying with us since Friday.

I always make clear to him the plans for the weekend, and what treats he is allowed IF he does certain things to behave.

EG: Friday, we were going to watch a DVD before bed, subject to him behaving on the train to mine, getting ready for bed and folding up his clothes before the film started.

Saturday, we were going to the zoo, which has a massive indoor and outdoor play area at the end. He could only get there if he spent time looking and learning about the animals first and not rushing off.

Then today, we were going to fly a kite, which we bought from a HUGE Toys R Us, we could only go there and get it if he was not to ask for anything else and no running off.

He did as he was told all weekend, helped make picnics and clear up after dinner, was polite to my friends at a BBQ today and cleared his things up when asked, knowing he would only get the fun stuff if he done the boring things first.

 

[Miss.Monroe]

great topic dannii!

in the front of my Jo Frost confident baby care book she says that you should write down and say that you want to be a mother who....

and then list things that you want to become or that you think are important in a mum.


as for the religious thing i am an atheist as is my OH but we are going to get bible stories for Sophie and read them to her, at the end of the day we see them only as stories with good morals. id love to be religious but i cant 'con' myself into beliving the stories. I have too many questions about it and people are never able to answer them. i did at one point get very intrested in Judaism, but again i cant make myself belive in it.

i want to be a mother earth type mum, at one with nature, whos not going to worry about Sophie getting dirty and mucky or having water fights or food fights with her.

My stepdad was very strict and we could never have fun like that even though my mum wanted too!

i want to go to the park and get muddy and pick up sticks and roll about on the floor and laugh!

i think Dean will be more strict than me but we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

Im not going to be smacking Sophie, alot of parents smack children when they are at the end of their teather with their children and do it out of frustration, rather than with any control. It teaches children that you hit people when you dont get what you want from them, and it teaches them that bigger people hurt smaller people.

Im also looking into giving Sophie a vegetarian diet at some point.

 

[Noor~ul~Usman]

Some great sounding mums to be on here

And Dannii - no worries. The three main religions (Christianity, Judaism and Islam) are all very similar. We have the same God and the same main Prophets (Islam has a few more obviously). Basically...from a Muslim's point of veiw the message brought by past Phrophets has always been the same but it was never given a name before ...Judaism came first but got changed by men over time.... Christianity came second and again got changed by men over time....Islam was the final attempt at constrewing the same message and we are the only one's that recognise Mohammad as the final Prophet to preach the message. Our holy book remains unaltered but there are still 'sects' with in the religion which differ on the interpretation of whats our final Prophet said and did - because we are all ment to follow his example

Anyway sorry lol....I'll stop spamming thr thread Just couldn't resist because you sounded a little confused and didn't want you to be embarrassed or anything

*scampers away from the thread*

 

[dannii87]

Don't scamper away!! Come back!! lol

Thanks for that I'd love to be more clued up on all that to give Evie a blank canvas on beliefs and faiths for her to decide if she wants to be religious or not. Thank you! xxx

 

[nickilubs]

Eek Good thread!

Well if our Pip is like me and Anthony personality wise then she will be quiet and chatty(quietly spoken and polite but very talkative at the same time I'm a odd mix) but really excitable and smiley! My way of being a mother is lots and lots of love and cuddles. Mud is great, mess is fun and above all animals are AMAZING! I want to be able to tell her I love her without there needing a reason I love her because I do and daddy loves her too and we love each other. We are never going to have loads of money and I know this so I will make all the little things really count. Like having picnics in the garden or eating our tea at the beach and looking at things in windows and thinking "wow arnt they pretty!" but never NEEDING them because all we really need is each other. I want her to tell me stuff and know that it really matters what she says I want to go to every school play and parents meeting but I want her to know that education is important but common sense and kindness is something learnt through life not necessarily through a teacher.
I will read her story's and make stupid sound effects and voices and let her come and cuddle up in bed with us if she gets scared. I will cook her her favorite tea on Saturdays and make her hot chocolate with sqwirty cream and marshmallows on sunday night when she has that sad "back to school" feeling. She can bring her blankets into the sitting room for cuddles in the evenings and watch all the rubbish soaps on telly. I want to answer all her questions. And I know that because I don't shout or scream then when she does do wrong I will tell her and she will know I think if you shout all the time it has no effect except to numb your child as to what it is they are doing wrong so if you only shout when they do do something wrong they know you mean it.

 

[amethyst_echidna]

Wow Nickilubs you sound like you'll be an absolutely amazing mum! I'm definitely going to take a few leaves out of your book!

AMETHYST