What help did you get with your new baby?

[Christina1979]

this time round, my OH cant afford again to take time off so he isnt here to help (away till 4am tonight )

Your OH should get 1 week Paternity on full pay! Unless he's self employed.

Don't think this is standard, it depends on the company's own policies.

I don't even get full pay, I get statutory maternity pay (6 weeks at 90% pay and then 33weeks at £112.75).

My hubby is entitled to 2 weeks paternity leave, but at such a low rate of pay, in comparison to his salary, we can't afford it so he is taking 2 weeks holiday instead.

 

[Red_Fairy]

The way i understand it is your entitled to take 2 weeks off, but its up to the actual company if they choose to pay or not etc.

In his last job he was the 'head chef' so no one could cover his shifts if he was to take that much time off.
And this time round he has only been there a short time, he hadnt even got round to telling them i was expecting (baby came early) and as we seriously do need the money its a needs must.

 

[Becky]

Check out Direct.gov.uk for more info but here it is:

How much you'll be paid

If you take paternity leave, and meet the lower earnings limit (LEL), you'll be paid statutory paternity pay (SPP) during your leave. The amount of SPP is £112.75 or 90 per cent of your average weekly earnings if this is lower. You pay tax and National Insurance in the same way as on your regular wages. Your employer reclaims the majority of SPP from their National Insurance contributions. To qualify for SPP you must pay tax and national insurance as an employee.

 

[sazzylou]

mil ask if she could have dd overnight when she was barely two weeks old i said no cause im bonding with my daughter which she didn't like.

My M.I.L wanted to have Jacob overnight too when he was just 3 weeks old, I said no way and she didn't like it either! What is with M.I.L's???!

My mil's the same She wanted Beth and started getting really upset when i said no, so we let her take her for a few hours in the end and i spent the whole time in tears. When we picked her up her nappy had'nt been done and she was covered in poo

 

[BabyMagic]

Eek - I clearly have to be mindful about MIL. She was already quite upset that we didn't 'consult' her re the baby's name! I was quite astonished - why would I have to ask her if she was happy with the name?

 

[Squiglet]

With Tia I had no help at all... everything fell to me... cooking, cleaning, night feeds, caring for the baby.... everything.

This time I am luckier because my mum is closer at hand... and there have been the odd few days where she has come over to help with cleaning. After my friends left last week the house was a mess so she came over to help... I also have Tia who has turned into a very productive slave and DH... who has become remarkably involved with lil miss.. well he's finally worked out how to type one handed

MIL has asked to have the baby for a few hours, but she is still breastfeeding heavily and I can't express too well so it hasn't been possible. I get the idea that she wasn't too happy with that. Think she wants time where she only speaks Swedish to the baby for several hours and no English is spoken, but its a bit unfair tbh as Serena is part English and I really want her to have the baby, but I can't be sure of when lil miss will require feeding.

 

[Happybunny]

mil ask if she could have dd overnight when she was barely two weeks old i said no cause im bonding with my daughter which she didn't like.

My M.I.L wanted to have Jacob overnight too when he was just 3 weeks old, I said no way and she didn't like it either! What is with M.I.L's???!

We were just over at my MIL. We were talking about not going to a friend's birthday party in April which is 3 days after our due date if the baby was here. MIL straight away said 'but you can go, I'll have the baby.' At three days??? Not even three months!!! (Not that I don't trust her, but I don't think I will be ready to leave baby for a wee while.)

As for people helping in the first few weeks. I will have OH who is fab and will help lots. I am fiercely independent and determined to manage without the interference of my parents or the out-laws. My hubby is great and he wont care if the lanudry or hoovering isn't done when he goes back to work. It will get done eventually! He is also looking forward for the excuse to eat take-away if there isn't any dinner on the go (although I have prepared lots of meals and froze them).

I think you will definately be able to manage on your own, especially if you are relaxed about household chores . As long as baby is fed, clean and loved - nap when they nap and don't give a stuff about the dusting!!

 

[trixipaws]

for the first 2 weeks while my boyf was off work he helped (altho not during the nite as i was breast-feeding and not expressing) and my mum popped round almost every day and took washing home for me, cleaned my house and cooked dinner for us a couple times. it was much appreciated

 

[sazzylou]

and my mum popped round almost every day and took washing home for me

Ive banned my MIL and mum from taking my washing home....... My MIL is always offering to take it, but i have issues with her going through my bra's and grundies, lol

 

[Becky]

There's something wrong about your OH's mother touching your undies...

 

[sazzylou]

There's something wrong about your OH's mother touching your undies...

exactly.....its just....wrong

 

[Happybunny]

There's something wrong about your OH's mother touching your undies...

exactly.....its just....wrong

Amen

 

[Strangeness]

My dh and mum were a godsend after Aaron was born! I lost a lot of blood through the c section and was pretty much a wreck for the first week after. They did so much for me and let me rest loads while my body battled to build itself back up. My dh did a lot of the night feeds or he always got up with me to make sure we were ok. Soon all changed once I was batter but the first couple of weeks they were brill!