what have i done wrong?

[xnicolaxcx]

Sorry it's a bit long!
My OH seems to think i have cheated on him. I have no idea why either. He is always accusing me of doing things that I haven't done.
Just after we met (two years ago)I went on a girls weekend to Skeggy to meet some other girls we met on a holiday a few years ago (They live in Scotland we live in Leicester) We had a great time. I have got problems with my hip where the band snaps over my joint and when it does it it absolubtly kills! Anyway near the end of the night my hip goes and i was in alot of pain. So my friend decideds to come back to my hotel with me but was struggeling to carry me on her own so this random bloke said do you want a hand. My friend said yes please and he just helped us to the door and the went home. When i got back home I told my OH thinking nothing of it and hes always assumed id cheated on him. Does he really think I'd come home and tell him if I was guilty?
Now tonight we had a row anyway but then he's just said so when did this bloke carry you back to your bed in skeggy- overexaduration! and i said oh my god it was the door and you know when, when i went skeggy about 2 years ago and then he shouts right thats it you have just addmitted it! Your a dirty cheating s***!
I just sat there with my mouth open and now hes stormed out and said he never wants to see me again.
What is going on? Iv never cheated and i never will. Our relationship has been on the rocks a while now so it feels like this is an exuse for him but i dont understand why he needs to make up storys of me being unfaithful?

 

[lfc_sarah]

It sounds like hes a little insecure
And i dont think he will stop accusing you until he deals with his own problem

What a horrible situation

 

[CoreysMummy]

I dont understand men!!!

If you had got stuffed all night, does he really think you'd come home and offer up the information on a plate like that?! Does he think your a total idiot.

Hes probly abit insecure, Im not sure why - past GF mabey!?

I do hope he gets over this silly idea, and you can sort it out!

 

[fran_23]

Yeah i was thinking the same thing, he sounds insecure and that maybe someone has cheated him in the past and he has major trust issues..what made him bring that back up now? i bet he will come back when he calms down and once you explain again that nothing happened he will be ok for a bit- but no doubt that will not be the last of it- i know because i was the exact same with my ex- however i had a reason to feel insecure as he had cheated before- in this case its unfair that you are suffering for whatever insecurities he is harbouring from the past. He has to deal with it and stop taking it out on you..hope you are ok

 

[xnicolaxcx]

Well I've still heard nothing this morning. I got a few more nasty messages last night. The last three girlfriends he has had have all cheated on him and with his so called friends. So i know he has always been insicure. I asked him what made him say I'd cheated but he just ignores me.
I never agreed with the lifestyle he has before he met me. He used to be into alot of drugs and trouble. I told him i couldn't be with him unless he stopped. He said he hated it so i helped him.
Now he'll always shout at me saying i dragged him away from something he loved and his friends told him not to go out with me because I'd not let him see them.
I've not stopped him seeing his friends but he knows if he goe's round that he'll come home stoned out of his face.
We still both see our friends and go out on nights out seperatly so it isn't like were in each others face 24/7.
So i dont know if its also got something to with the side affects from the drugs being parranoia?

 

[Penstraze]

Oh dear it does sound abit like he is using this from years ago as an excuse to end things unless someone who was there has for some reason brought it up with him and made it out to be more then it was Don't want to upset you or anything and Im not saying he has cheated but years back when my DH and I went through a really bad patch I got fixated on all the bad things he'd done over the years and that he had at one point been texting his ex 10+ times a day for 3 months he's never admited to cheating at that time but I know there must have been something more there then there should have been he is very lazy about texting and rarely even replies to his friends the only times Ive known him text alot is in the begining of relationships to someone he really fancies, it was years back and done with he didn't text her any more but because things were so bad and I was tempted by another man I brought it all up in my head (although not with him) almost as though it justified what I was doing!

As for the drugs and life style I have had exactly the same thing with DH he used to do alot of drugs and didn't enjoy a night out without them, after finding him totally out of it and not well at all after taking more then he should have early on in our relationship I told him I couldn't have a relationship with him because of the drugs and would be completely terrified what might happen to him everytime he was out on them, I didn't expect him to change for me so best thing was to call it a day he was adament he would stop the drugs they didn't mater and he wanted to be with me more and true to his word he did stop them but he also stopped going out and made me feel guilty if I wanted to go out so we both started missing out. When we were going through bad patch he was really nasty to me about how I stopped him having fun and didn't like him doing everything he enjoyed etc etc but when we did split up for 6 months he went mad on the drugs wasted loads of money and I think realised that he would rather have me then the drugs he hasn't done any since we got back together and although very occassionally he will bring up how I don't let him have any fun most the time he says the time appart whilst he was doing drugs made him realise how much more important I was and on the odd occassion I get the spoil sport guilt trip I just say fine come on then lets me and you go do them I'll give it a whirl and he soon shuts up cause he knows that the same reason I don't want him doing them cause I would worry about him non stop is exactly how he would feel if I did them so he would never let me!!

Im not sure any of this is actually a help, I think if you can you need to sit down with him and have a real good talk when hes not in a temper maybe give him a few days to cool down you can't have a rational conversation with someone in a temper hopefully when he calms down he will talk properly with you and actually listen to what you have to say and hopefully be able to explain why all this has come up now, you have done nothing wrong so don't go running after him let him come to you when hes good and ready to listen!