What do you think about marriage?
- Thread starter zebrastripes
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weddings turns women into psycos. lol. my sister went from wanting a pagan hippy-middle-of-woods-bare-foot-wedding her whole life to having the biggest most commercial-expensive big bash in existannce. I wasnt invited cos i was pregnant and id take the lime light of her. (true!) all she would talk about was 'wedding' for 12 months straight. she up set my mother to tears on a million occasions. Still our family are 'not the same' and its almost been 12 months sinse the big day. My sister was a complete monster the whole time.
if thats what it does to you id rather not.
if thats what it does to you id rather not.
Josephine_Beth
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I'm Catholic, my father is the deacon to our local church, my husband is Muslim............a right mixture there in it's self tbh.
We would happily go our who lives together and not be married but the problem his nationality, we would be very limited where to live, work and such and we did give it great thought. We love each other and have had the most wonderful baby because of this. Marriage was discussed to all angles and it's something that we realised we had to do, if we wanted to be a family together and have a good life.
To have a good life, relaxed, loving and joyful, everyone has to work hard for it, it doesn't just walk up to you and go 'tag your it', be nice if it did.
If my husband was British, we would have happily lived together and maybe down the line say our vows but he isn't and governments these days make every bloody thing hard! Believe me, I've been on a battle with htis since June last year
I respect those who choose not top marry, at the end of the day it's just a paper that says you are married to so n so, not belong to but married, yes, it's a way to show your love on a further road but tbh, marriage is too over rated these days. If it ain't for you, people should and need to respect that opinion.
We would happily go our who lives together and not be married but the problem his nationality, we would be very limited where to live, work and such and we did give it great thought. We love each other and have had the most wonderful baby because of this. Marriage was discussed to all angles and it's something that we realised we had to do, if we wanted to be a family together and have a good life.
To have a good life, relaxed, loving and joyful, everyone has to work hard for it, it doesn't just walk up to you and go 'tag your it', be nice if it did.
If my husband was British, we would have happily lived together and maybe down the line say our vows but he isn't and governments these days make every bloody thing hard! Believe me, I've been on a battle with htis since June last year
I respect those who choose not top marry, at the end of the day it's just a paper that says you are married to so n so, not belong to but married, yes, it's a way to show your love on a further road but tbh, marriage is too over rated these days. If it ain't for you, people should and need to respect that opinion.
I was never that fussed about marriage a few years ago, but when I met my OH I began to change my mind. I do think that some people think that getting marriage will bring them closer together if they are having problems - I knew a few people whose partners proposed because they kept arguing, etc.
It's a nice gesture I think and an opportunity to celebrate being together with your friends and family but I'm not religious at all so it doesn't mean anything to me in that sense. I also hate the idea of stressing out for months over a big wedding, and things like flowers, invitations, catering, etc. I'd much rather have a quiet do with a few close friends.
When I was pregnant, OH's grandparents (who are christian) were kind of hinting that we get married in a quickie ceremony before the baby was born, but I'm really glad we didn't.
It's a nice gesture I think and an opportunity to celebrate being together with your friends and family but I'm not religious at all so it doesn't mean anything to me in that sense. I also hate the idea of stressing out for months over a big wedding, and things like flowers, invitations, catering, etc. I'd much rather have a quiet do with a few close friends.
When I was pregnant, OH's grandparents (who are christian) were kind of hinting that we get married in a quickie ceremony before the baby was born, but I'm really glad we didn't.
Josephine_Beth
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We had a tiny, I mean TINY, registry office wedding, me, my hubby and 4 friends, not big dress, no fuss, just in and out in 10 mins but had a massive party the following weekend, that was put to an end by the police at 2am................then we headed to a club and had a fab time!
I was 7 months pregnant at the time
but he did propose to me about 3 weeks before we found out I was pregnant
I was 7 months pregnant at the time
but he did propose to me about 3 weeks before we found out I was pregnant Sherlock I really enjoyed reading your post. I have the same opinion as you about so many things you said. I am a little similar to you in as much as I travelled and lived a lot before 'settling down' so to speak but it just so happens with me that after a crap abusive relationship I met my OH and we travelled and done lots of great things together, things which if I'm honest I would never have had the confidence to do without him encouraging me and making me push myself. I wouldn't be where I am today without my OH but we've just never felt the need to waste money and bring our families together (his family are all up north) just to get married. Neither of us are religious and although sometimes a part of me wants to have a lovely sparkly ring and a husband the free spirit part of me reminds me thats only me wanting to fit into a stereotypical mum and housewife role. The wife part somehow seem's part of the 'package'. 
Princess_Puddles
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Marriage isn't something I've really thought about to be honest, yes I'd love to get married one day but i'm only 18 and to me marriage is just a piece of paper and alot of money spent on one day! Yes I want to have that expensive 'every girls dream day' one day but not in the forseeable future. I love my OH and he knows that. I dont need a ring on my finger to prove our love and commitment to eachother anytime soon!
I was with my ex for 4 years nearly, not married but we had a kid together and the effect of our relationship breaking down had just as much emotional impact on my daughter as would a divorse in my eyes. So technically the argument of not getting married because divorce is a possibility and that could in turn harm any children...seems a bit of a pointless argument because ANY relationship breakdown damages a child.
Those relationships you hear of where the couple were together 25 years, then decide to get married, then end up divorsed. Is usually because, there is a problem in the relationship in the first place so they consider getting married a way of solidifying the relationship or make it stronger, unfortunately they haven't bothered to rectify the actual problems. Their relationship was fine for 25 years without marriage, it would never be a solution.
People also feel the permanence of marriage, which scares them an that in turn makes them, ironically, back out.
I personally love being married...not in so much as our relationship has changed, it hasn't at all. Divorce is dead easy to get nowadays, so we never feel trapped. But it was for us a declaration to everyone and ourselves, that we love each other and have promised ourselves to each other, not because we had a kid together, but because we to start a family together...
While there are many ways to achieve this...for us a civil ceremony was the best way forwards for us, I like lou think people are incredibly hypocritical to get married in a church when they aren't religious...I refused so went for the town hall... we will also have a pagan hand fasting in the future... but we also needed the state to recognise our relationship because in Spain married couples get certain tax benefits etc.
If we did get a divorce, I personally wouldn't get married again. I am so sure that dh is "the one" that if it turns out that he is not, I could never trust myself not to make the same mistake again...and if he dies and I meet someone else, I couldn't replace the feelings concerning my wedding again. But then thats just how i feel based on my experiences
Those relationships you hear of where the couple were together 25 years, then decide to get married, then end up divorsed. Is usually because, there is a problem in the relationship in the first place so they consider getting married a way of solidifying the relationship or make it stronger, unfortunately they haven't bothered to rectify the actual problems. Their relationship was fine for 25 years without marriage, it would never be a solution.
People also feel the permanence of marriage, which scares them an that in turn makes them, ironically, back out.
I personally love being married...not in so much as our relationship has changed, it hasn't at all. Divorce is dead easy to get nowadays, so we never feel trapped. But it was for us a declaration to everyone and ourselves, that we love each other and have promised ourselves to each other, not because we had a kid together, but because we to start a family together...
While there are many ways to achieve this...for us a civil ceremony was the best way forwards for us, I like lou think people are incredibly hypocritical to get married in a church when they aren't religious...I refused so went for the town hall... we will also have a pagan hand fasting in the future... but we also needed the state to recognise our relationship because in Spain married couples get certain tax benefits etc.
If we did get a divorce, I personally wouldn't get married again. I am so sure that dh is "the one" that if it turns out that he is not, I could never trust myself not to make the same mistake again...and if he dies and I meet someone else, I couldn't replace the feelings concerning my wedding again. But then thats just how i feel based on my experiences
lauramumof2
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I love being married. Its just such a great feeling to me. Its obviously a personal thing and might not mean the same thing to others but to me its just a wonderfull thing.
LilysMummy
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My OH just walked in and said do you want to get married in November
I think I just agreed to get married in the summer 
I think I just agreed to get married in the summer
mrs_tommo22
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I really wanted to get married along time ago, I think for my insecurities more then anything.
But now im older and not much wiser, I have realised that Tommo and I could of been very hapy together without a marriage certificate and me wearing a dress that I looked rediculous in!
Had I been more sensible back then I think I wouldnt of got married. But its not too say that I dont love my husband and I dont enjoy being his wife because I do.
But now im older and not much wiser, I have realised that Tommo and I could of been very hapy together without a marriage certificate and me wearing a dress that I looked rediculous in!
Had I been more sensible back then I think I wouldnt of got married. But its not too say that I dont love my husband and I dont enjoy being his wife because I do.
I got married when I was only 19. we had only been together 6 months and I was 5 months pregnant. I suppose I didn't want to be an unmarried mother, not that there's anything wrong with that but that's how I felt at the time. We fell head over heels for each other and I knew he was the one I wanted to be with so thought why not go for it. We just had a small registry office wedding as I'm not religious at all. We are still very happy now but I think if we were to split up I wouldn't ever get married again!
happy-chick
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Im married and so glad I am, I felt it was a way that me & hubby could show our love to each other and our family and friends. I never used to think that I would get married as I didnt see the point but now I know i've found my sole mate that all changes!
Aww soppy eh?!
Aww soppy eh?!
Hmmm... This is a tough one! I'm pretty mixed to be honest.
Marriage isn't something I'm particularly looking forward to, nor is it something I would rule out.
If I love someone deeply, I would see it as a day where we can commit and show the world how much we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together..
When my ex proposed to me at Xmas, I honestly thought at the time "this is the most magical moment, someone offering to spend the rest of their lives with you" how wrong could I be? Fact was, he never planned to marry me at all and left a few days later never to speak to me again!
I have a lot of trust issues anyway and this was an extra blow I could have done without so trying not to let that affect my opinion on this!
As for divorce being awful on the kids, my parents divorced after 16 years together and it wasn't the divorce that broke our hearts, it was the fight over the house and us 3 that tore us apart... So I think that buying a home together and having children is a far bigger commitment IMO.
xx
Marriage isn't something I'm particularly looking forward to, nor is it something I would rule out.
If I love someone deeply, I would see it as a day where we can commit and show the world how much we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together..
When my ex proposed to me at Xmas, I honestly thought at the time "this is the most magical moment, someone offering to spend the rest of their lives with you" how wrong could I be? Fact was, he never planned to marry me at all and left a few days later never to speak to me again!
I have a lot of trust issues anyway and this was an extra blow I could have done without so trying not to let that affect my opinion on this!
As for divorce being awful on the kids, my parents divorced after 16 years together and it wasn't the divorce that broke our hearts, it was the fight over the house and us 3 that tore us apart... So I think that buying a home together and having children is a far bigger commitment IMO.
xx
My parents got divorced when I was 10 and it was horrible and very messy...but it hasn't put me off getting married myself. Now I'm with my OH whom I love and want to spend the rest of my life with him, and our two girls, so I can't wait to get married, hopefully next year! x
I think if you go into marriage with the kind of view that 1 in 4 marriages end in divorce etc. it's pretty unhelpful. However, you just don't know what will happen in the future. My hubby's aunt and uncle have just separated and it was a big surprise to us as they've been married for 20+ years and have 2 kids aged 18 and 14. I think it must have taken a lot of courage for OH's uncle to say enough was enough after that many years when you think about what he's giving up.
i am getting married in 7 weeks time and can't wait, i wouldn't let the high rate of divorces put me off. i love my OH so much and can't wait to marry him and also i can't wait to have the same name as my OH and my child. marriage is quite important for me, i guess everyone is different though.
