What did i do?? :(

[Pinktink23]

This is all i have had in my head all day......
What did i do?

Things havent been plain sailing in this pregnancy... right at the start i lost one which my heart recently has felt like a lost (if anyone knows what i mean) Then my gorgeous little man did a few things to make me panic... all was well... then told he was 4weeks small but now hes 2weeks small... So hes proving those wrong....
He is my world... i havent been able to enjoy my bump as to be honest i only looked like i pigged out at the chinese... But now hes pushed out n down more im getting used to being pregnant (as silly as it sounds) with all the drama going on the only way i feel im protecting him is him staying inside all safe....

I finish work tomorrow for my Maternity... and after tomorrow thats when my new life begins im bricking it... (yes i have friends and family for support Just isnt the same).
I would like to know with everything in my life that has happened... what lesson is this one showing me?

I see so many happy people, and see all the couples getting excited buying stuff together, coming out of the hospital all joyous and happy... counting the days together... (Even though yes they are posssibly thinking of the reality that they cant afford nothing, sleepless nights etc etc they never show it in public) Why can i NOT have that too??? Why do i have to worry about what i say to not getting a dig.... Why do i not deserve a backrub after i have worked from half 8 till 5 - 5days a week...
Im over the moon to have my son... (anyone who thinks this is a selfish post then thats fine, but i feel like the ME who just wants to simple things and FREE things wont ever get it...)

Saturday 26th May - Was the day i sat in a park (a very beautiful and big one) and waited for 1hour n 35mins, i waited for something to show me i was just being silly.... 6:36pm that night before i left the park... i left my heart in that spot along with my faith and confidence... That night i lost me....

Tuesday 26th June- DD- this will be the say my heart regrows but into a mummy heart with only love for My special Solider!!!!

 

[SarahCarps2be]

Just remember all of our conversations babe!

You're Charlie will be the best thing thats ever happened to you, and thats the one and only thing you will have to thank your OH for. .

Everything happens for a reason - Believe it babe, you'll turn around one day and realise I'm right .

You've always got me you know that!!! chin up, enjoy some YOU time before little man comes along.
And don't get stuck again!!!! haha xxxxxx

 

[FirstBabyEek]

Its hard, particularly when you have to face life on your own. I fully sympathise - I see my sister do it every day. All the family help her as much as they can but as you have pointed out, its not the same.

You're possibly looking at too much of the situation all at once and therefore it all seems very overwhelming, whilst I am not trying to take away anything that's happened to you but try and step back and work through each issue bit by bit and you'll get there.

I'm a huge fan of counting your blessings. You have an incredible life ahead of you, just you and your little boy, you cant change the past or your immediate situation so enjoy the preciousness of what you have now and avoid missing out on the magic of what is to come.

Have you spoken to anyone properly about how you are feeling? A counsellor my help you both in the short and the long term. xx

 

[frankie247]

Aww hun, I don't know what to say other than that I'm thinking of you and sending hugs.

Sounds like you are feeling a bit worried or apprehensive - that's perfectly normal. X

 

[SarahCarps2be]

Its hard, particularly when you have to face life on your own. I fully sympathise - I see my sister do it every day. All the family help her as much as they can but as you have pointed out, its not the same.

You're possibly looking at too much of the situation all at once and therefore it all seems very overwhelming, whilst I am not trying to take away anything that's happened to you but try and step back and work through each issue bit by bit and you'll get there.

I'm a huge fan of counting your blessings. You have an incredible life ahead of you, just you and your little boy, you cant change the past or your immediate situation so enjoy the preciousness of what you have now and avoid missing out on the magic of what is to come.

Have you spoken to anyone properly about how you are feeling? A counsellor my help you both in the short and the long term. xx

She speaks to me about everything and I don't do the old "leave him" thing either lol.

I'm hoping I help by her speaking to me

 

[FirstBabyEek]

She speaks to me about everything and I don't do the old "leave him" thing either lol.

I'm hoping I help by her speaking to me

Sorry I'm not sure of the surrounding situation and I hope my comments weren't out of line in any way, Pink's first post sounded pretty sad and my heart went out to her xx

 

[babyelmo]

Oh hon I wish I knew what to say to make things better xxx

 

[Pinktink23]

Thanks ladies.... i really do appreciate all the kindness and being there for me....
I do vent to Sarah which after this birth she deserves a bloody medal.... I can safely say i would love to be able to say you know what im finished... but something isnt letting me... im going to let time do its thing... and try not to become so down... Im sorry for my outburst seems like the last TRI has made me an emotional Poop head haha...

Thank you girls.... *hugs* xxxxxx