Weird/painful feelings about pregnancy

[xSara]

Hello I'm Sara, 23.
I know my question/story might sound strange and I just wanna say that I don't intend to upset anyone on this forum, espech happy moms (too be)!

Since about 6 months I have this weird strong desire to get pregnant, I think about it everyday and I track my cycle/ovulation.

Ok this might be normal but I have an issue, I'm not single but still a very insecure person, especially when it comes to show off my body or tell anything more personal then my shoe size to someone I don't really know. These problems I have make pregnancy and everything else involved sound like a real nightmare to me (every gynecologic and not gynecologic visit already is for me).
To be clear: I can't imagine to be pregnant, to have all those visits every month, give birth (it's not about pain), breastfeed (espech in front of someone like my fiancé), and, and, and... I feel/imagine all these activities as very humiliating when I'm well aware that they shouldn't (I can't talk about it with my fiancé).

But still...I have this constant thought of wanting to get pregnant and I'm honestly scared because I feel so blue sometimes and well humiliated/embarassed as well because I feel like I'm not normal. (there's no way in hell I would be able to tell anyone I know). It's becoming an obsession, everytime I feel down about it I search for as much information about pregnancy I can just to get scared about it in order to make this pregnancy desire leave me alone for a few days (that's frustrating on the other hand).

My question is: has anyone experienced any similar feelings towards pregnancy? Since I have this weird desire/obsession to get pregnant since about 6 months could there be a hormonal cause or anything I should/could get help for from a (specific) doctor?

I hope you understand my bad english...thank you very much

 

[mummykay]

Ok Im a bit confused but do u feel shy with regards to havin your body used for the baby and not bein able to protect your modesty?

Cos Im sure many of the girls who are pg or had kids will agree that when your pregnant, ur entire being goes into growing and nurturing your child inside you and u will put yourself second

I dont know if its a phobia you have, Im not too clued up on the psych stuff but have u been tryin to get pg from 6mths or are u 6months gone?

 

[mummykay]

Forgot to say - I didnt want to breastfeed, let alone do it in public but when baby is hungry and ur milks in then u dont care who is around lol - I have no inhibitions now whatsoever and I have pregnancy and childbirth to thank for that lol

 

[trixipaws]

i think pregnancy and childbirth freaks any woman out until they go through it. but it is a rite of passage that most of us would do a million times over for our babies!
it does sound like you need to speak to someone about your fears though (a medical professional) for your own benefit.
'tis true what mummykay says, when youre pregnant or have a baby youre not number one anymore, your fears will be superceded by your concern for your babys welfare.

 

[kalia]

I bled at 19 weeks and had an internal examination. The midwife never gave me the option to ask my other half to leave the room and I didn't know when to suggest this (I know this sounds stupid) so I had an internal with him sitting beside me. Before being pregnant I don't thik I could have thought of anything more embarassing But we had just found out baby was OK after a big panic and so in the grand sceme of things I didn't really care too much. If anyone had told me in advance that that I would happen I would have been very stressed and worried. But your baby does become so important that you just don't care.
Before that I had told OH he was not going to be at the birth. I have now said he can be there.

 

[meg_bellamy]

It sounds like you're having maternal feelings, being interested in pregnancy and wanting to be pregnant. I've had these feelings for the past 2 years, I know I'm a late bloomer, some girls start feeling maternal from about age 12!

I think it's natural to feel scared and anxious about pregnancy and birth, after all it's something you've never experienced before and it is something that puts your body 'on show' for everyone to see. But the others are right, once you're pregnant you're thinking of someone other than yourself and their safety, and you'll probably lose some of your inhibitions.

But if it is something that you are really struggling with and want to talk to someone about, I think seeing a counselor would be a good idea, at least to help you feel that you aren't weird and that many other women probably feel the same way! Good luck

Meg xx

 

[MissSara]

It is only natual to feel scared, i myslef was a very shy person when i had harrison at being 17 and only really dicovered myself i was then having examinations by male doctors and the thought of that scared me, but when it came down to it the knowing of the health of my baby was a much stronger feeling and i didn't once feel embarrased at all.

When in labour i realised all feelings of dignity when straight out of the window....lol, i could have walked round that ward totally naked and not have cared who saw me and what they thought.

 

[xSara]

Omg thank you so much for all your kind answers you don't know what this means to me... I was indeed thinking about talking about it all with a doctor but the thought of being the only one feeling this way embarassed me, god only knows how much...
I've not actually being trying yet but it's been 6 months since I started thinking about it in a more mature and realistic way, I feel this sometimes very bad disappointment when I know that I'm ovulating without having tryied to get pregnant.

So good to know I'm not alone...

I have a wonderful supportive fiancé but I just can't imagine to share my fears, thoughts and intimacy with him during such a special period for me but I've got hope now

I'll probably stick around here, it's so nice to see how you all share your experiences with the community about imo life's number one reason to get excited/be happy about

Thank you!
Best wishes to everyone of you!

 

[Babylicious]

I honestly felt the same when I had paris nearly 8 years ago. But once the labour kicked in I didn't care about anyone looking at my laydee bits! Its almost like it's not you tbh