Want to destroy his computer

[chellieboo]

Sorry am just totally p*****d off at the mo. DH is obsessed with his computer. Coming up to ovulation time at the mo so I figure if we really want this we should try to BD as much as possible - at least every other day. But all OH wants to do is play on computer. for instance He tells me he'll just wait till his completed the next level and then he'll be with me, but as per usual sat up until 1am last night and he was still on the bloody thing, and this is not the first time that has happened.

Don't know what to do - am considering giving up on the TTC as think perhaps maybe he doesn't really want it even though we've talked about it and he said he wanted to, so he's just avoiding me by pretending to be busy with his games. I even suggested not BDing and just spending the evening watching a DVD or something but he's still not interested.

He tells me he loves me and wants to be with me, and gets upset whenever i question him about this.....I just don't know what to do.....

 

[gingerpig]

I just asked my OH about this, and he said that maybe its not that your OH doesn't want a baby, it's more that he just doesn't want that sort of sex. Apparently the pressure to perform can be quite hellish (I quote) - it talks about it in "The Blokes Guide to Pregnancy". OH also reckoned that your OH could even be slightly depressed, esp. if he's spending that much time on computer games, so maybe you could relieve some of the pressure so to speak and try and have sex when you both feel like it, rather then around your ovulation. I had no idea when I was ovulating (I didn't bother with charting as my cycles were about 42 days long) so we just had sex when we both felt like it, and it worked for us. Have you been trying for ages, what's making you put the pressure on?

 

[Nicky_Jones]

A couple of years before we decided to try for a baby my OH was like this with his playstation. After having a row over it, he let out the reason he was avoiding me was because he felt I wanted to have a baby (I hadn't even mentioned that) and he didn't want one. I didn't want to put any pressure on him at all, but unfortunately is Mum was desperate for grandchildren and kept pressurising him, which really did not help. TBH I think it was only when we put 100miles between us and his Mum that he decided her was ready for a family. I would try and avoid putting any pressure on your OH as well if you can.

 

[chellieboo]

Thats the problem...I'm not putting any pressure on him, well I don't feel I am. We discussed the whole baby thing and decided to go for it. Initially just as you said having sex as and when we felt like it. This month (4th month) I decided to monitor my temps etc out of curiosity as my cycles ranged from 28-32 days and I wanted to have more of an idea what my body was doing. He knows I'm doing this but we haven;t really talked about when I ovulate or anything like that - only I know. he's obviously aware of the temp taking as the thermometer beeps in the am but I wouldn't have thought that would put pressure on him as such. also its not just the sex, its the general spending time together in fact its this that bothers me more than the sex if i'm honest.

anyway we've agreed to have a chat tonight when he gets in from work so hopefully we'll be able to sort things out and get back on a better footing.

thanks for your opinions...

 

[chellieboo]

Well had a long chat last night and it turns out he's stresssed out about work stuff and thats why he's been a bit distant and playing on the computer all the time to take his mind off it all.

Feel a bit guilty now about ranting about him!