update: chickened out

[trixipaws]

i originally started a thread in relationships http://www.pregnancyforum.co.uk/forum/v ... hp?t=72016

but after reading some of the replies the issue has now changed so need to post here

i dont eat perfectly. i do eat fairly healthily, i hav fruit and veg almost every day, but typically i'll often have no breakfast (sometimes ill have cereal but only 50% of time or less) and ill almost never hav lunch i will just snack on sweets and choc all day. then in evenings for tea i'll hav something stupid like a tin of beans or a load of buttered crackers or just some boiled veg (i cant really cook)

im only 45kg (7st) and my boyf thinks im too thin but i want to be even thinner!

i wouldnt think this is a problem but i just dont want my daughter to get an eating disorder or something coz of me
i dont really kno how to fix this as iv had these eating habits for about 10 years and iv not lived at home with my parents for nearly 8 years and i never bothered learning how to cook. my late teens and early 20's i was out raving all the time so never had proper meals, iv never been in the habit much, i dont kno where to start!

do u think i sound not normal?

do u think i should discuss this with my HV? im scared to tho coz im frightened of social services

 

[NooNoo]

firstly i can totally relate to how your feeling..

I have been like this for years and then was told i have bullemic tendencies...but not full blown bullemia...

definatley get some help...like you said you dont want to pass on your anxietys about body image/weight to millie...this is the main reason i went to the docs...i couldnt bear mia feeling how i do

 

[Babylicious]

Wise words there, I'm another who's been through it and hospitalised too.

I'd speak to someone hun as it doesn't sound like you are eating enough (please don't take that the wrong way)

 

[MissThing]

I would definatly talk with your GP! Dont worry about social servises or anything like that! You are a great mummy to Millie.

There are ways of eating normally and still staying slim (not thin). And, if you are naturally skinny, by eating normally you will never put much weight on!

Always have some breakfast. Some porridge or musli with milk and fruits is perfect, and its not fattening.

For lunch have a sandwich (I dont know if you have eggs, but wholegrain bread, low fat mayo or soured cream and eggs wont make you fat) And an apple or a banana.

And for supper some pasta with tomato sauce or boiled veggies with mashed potatoes.

Your health is most importaint thing, and you are the one who is setting a good example for Millie.

Be strong, Trixi

 

[Lola's Mummy]

I think you should go and have a chat with your GP

You could get some cook books and learn some recipes out of them. I couldn't cook until i left home and just taught myself

 

[trixipaws]

well, its baby clinic this morning, where u can chat to the HV about anything, but i decided i wont go, because its gray and looks cold outside and like it might rain! perhaps next week, we'll see how we go!

 

[mayday]

Trixipaws, I think you've done really well and made a huge first step to realise that you aren't eating properly. You need to eat properly to be healthy and to set a good example to Millie, and also if you don't eat well you are missing out on one of the great pleasures in life!

Breakfast and lunch are simple. You should ALWAYS eat breakfast even if it is only a small one. My baby and I eat breakfast together - she has whatever I am having, so it is usually fingers of toast and jam (although at the moment lemon curd is her favourite topping so we have that a lot,) or we have cereal and milk or yoghurt and fruit. Whatever it is it only ever takes a couple of minutes to make and is easily stored. Lunch is always a sandwich or something on toast, eg ham salad sandwich, beans on toast, lots of egg on toast as we have hens. Then a bit of fruit.

For dinner you should have a go at cooking - it's really not that difficult. Buy a really simple recipe book - Delia Smith is always good as a starting point. If you don't have the money to buy a good recipe book have a look on the internet, the BBC have a good recipes site here http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/

You should think ahead so that when you do your shopping you have one week's worth of meals mapped out. EG this week OH and I have had
Mon - pasta and sauce and garlic bread
Tue - soup and tiger bread
Wed - big greek salad and more tiger bread (we love this stuff )
Thur - risotto
Fri - mussels in white wine (my mum is cooking them)
Sat - take away (got to have a night off at some point!)
Sun cottage pie

I write it down on a Sunday night, shop for it on line at Tesco. Hey presto, it gets delivered Monday morning and I have a week's worth of food in the house. If you plann it well enough you won't be worrying about what to feed Millie either - all of her food can be got at the same time.

The next thing to think about is to get boyfriend helping you. If he wants you to eat healthily he should be helping you cook. Maybe he has some hidden skills there?

Also, remember that it is a huge step to go from not really cooking at all to shopping and preparing food every night. You don't have to be too adventurous in your meal plan to start with. It's OK to have pasta and sauce or a baked potato and cheese. The important thing is to start eating proper meals. Just snacking all day isn't really good for you.

Once you get a bit more practice in the kitchen you can be more adventurous and enjoy food a bit more. When you said you might just have boiled veg for dinner I thought 'poor you' when I thought back to my greek salad with fresh herbs this week. It was so simple but so tasty!

Give it a go, a little step by step. And while you are doing this don't worry about your weight at all. It might even do you good to put the scales away and get mealtimes established. As others have stated, if you eat healthily you won't get fatter, but your skin, bones, hair and muscle will be in a lot better condition and this could change the amount you weigh. You won't look FATTER, but you will look HEALTHIER.

Good luck, and well done for being so brave.

 

[amzhunny]

Social Services won't get involved, you are a fab mum and Millie is absolutely fine - dont worry about that. Whoever you do tell whether it be a HV or GP will want to take steps to help you.

To me it does sound like you are avoiding foods, like the other posts have said you can make some pretty simply dishes at home which are healthy just cooking some chicken and adding that to your veggies in an evening would give you the protein you need or as Carina said adding a bit of potatoes will give you your carbs. Have soup and a bread roll or beans on toast, its making that comprimise with what you are already comfortable eating.

During the day you could have a cuppa soup or a sandwich and you will find you wont pick at sweeties although they are so nice i find it hard on my diet lol.

I was like this about 4 years ago and wouldnt eat anything until 6.30 every night and that was usually pasta and tuna or just a bowl of soup and i was exercising excessively and lost weight..found it really hard to start eating proporly again but i did it hun, you can to just to give your body the vital nutrients it needs. You need the energy to run after millie pops!! lol

It will take time and one step at a time.

We are all here for you hun. xxxxx

 

[trixipaws]

thanx u guys

im at my parents today, (hav been visiting my old friends hd a lovely day) anyway hav eaten really well. u can see all the fruit iv had in urchin's fruit thread lol and iv had a proper breakfast (cereal) and proper dinner (my mum's home-made veggie sheperds pie with salad) really healthy and lots of it altho i had no lunch and i ate a packet of chocolate buttons but hav done well otherwise.

altho i kinda feel like a fat pig for it!