Trying to make leah sleep- FIRST NIGHT DONE!

[Kimbo]

Leah wakes up in the morning at 9-9.30am, then has a one hour (ish) nap at about 11.30.
Then it will be around 3-4pm and she will have another nap, then again at 7ish, and then she will finally fall asleep for the night at around 10pm.
Now i'm living on my own I thought it would be a good time to start moving bedtime forward so i get some peace at night.
I've only just started tonight by the way.

I've bought a classical lullaby cd today so I put that one while she was falling asleep.
Her last sleep was at 4pm, then at 6.30pm i gave her a bath, then took her into the bedroom and gave her a bottle of milk while the cd was on, and she fell asleep after 10 mins or so, so then i put her in the cot.
I've left the cd on low volume so there's a little bit of noise in there.

She woke up after an hour, I went up and she was sat up crying. I got her back to sleep by rocking her, then put her back in but she woke again 10 minutes later and she was sat up again.
Finally got her back to sleep and shes been asleep for another half hour now.
Jo mentioned controlled crying, and said it worked, but can you so that even though she's sat up, rubbing her eyes and hysterical in tears? The only way she will settle then is if i'm rocking her, but it's taking 10-15 minutes each time.

So if she's sat up crying, should i leave her?? I'm worried she's going to fall back and hit her head on the cot bars so that's why I can't seem to leave her.
she's not the sort of baby who will lie back down after waking up so i dont know what to do!!!
Would it help if i woke her earlier than usual about 6 or 7am and cut out her daytime naps?
Am I kidding myself believing that I can do this at almost a year old?

 

[linzi-x-]

Leah wakes up in the morning at 9-9.30am, then has a one hour (ish) nap at about 11.30.
Then it will be around 3-4pm and she will have another nap, then again at 7ish, and then she will finally fall asleep for the night at around 10pm.
Now i'm living on my own I thought it would be a good time to start moving bedtime forward so i get some peace at night.
I've only just started tonight by the way.

I've bought a classical lullaby cd today so I put that one while she was falling asleep.
Her last sleep was at 4pm, then at 6.30pm i gave her a bath, then took her into the bedroom and gave her a bottle of milk while the cd was on, and she fell asleep after 10 mins or so, so then i put her in the cot.
I've left the cd on low volume so there's a little bit of noise in there.

She woke up after an hour, I went up and she was sat up crying. I got her back to sleep by rocking her, then put her back in but she woke again 10 minutes later and she was sat up again.
Finally got her back to sleep and shes been asleep for another half hour now.
Jo mentioned controlled crying, and said it worked, but can you so that even though she's sat up, rubbing her eyes and hysterical in tears? The only way she will settle then is if i'm rocking her, but it's taking 10-15 minutes each time.

So if she's sat up crying, should i leave her?? I'm worried she's going to fall back and hit her head on the cot bars so that's why I can't seem to leave her.
she's not the sort of baby who will lie back down after waking up so i dont know what to do!!!
Would it help if i woke her earlier than usual about 6 or 7am and cut out her daytime naps?
Am I kidding myself believing that I can do this at almost a year old?

omg.. doesnt feel right giving my input to u lol....
if you wake her up at around seven she will still need to have a daytime sleep (i think its suppsed to be around 2 hours)
but then if you try to keep her awake for the rest of the day she will more than likely be ready for sleep by bedtime.
i think the hardest thing for you to crack id going to be the getting her to sleep bit, as you always get her to sleep with you. you should try puttin her in her cot awake (if shes not had naps throughout the day shes more than likely going to sleep) if she learns to go to sleep on her own, when she wakes up in the night she will eventually learn to settle herself then too. Lexis always been a good sleeper (apart from recent events lol)but she did go through a faze after being ill of not going straight to sleep, ive never really believed in complete cc, but wat i used to do was.
*go in
*lie her down
*give her her dummy and walk out
if she started crying id give it a few mins then just go back in and repeat that process, without talking to her.
eventually she did get the hang of it...
try stick at it tho cause otherwise youll have been through this for nothin lol

feel free to ignore me pmsl

 

[Tiggy26]

Hi hun,

My son is the same age as Leah and this is his daily/bedtime routine.

Wakes 6.30-7.30am
Morning nap at 10am for about 1.40mins
Afternoon nap at 3pm sleeps for 1 hour
5pm dinner
6pm bath
7.30 bottle
8pm betime

I had the exact same problem as you to start with and this is how we tackled it. We did allow him to nap for as long as he wanted during the day but we only allow 2 naps in total 1 morning and 1 afternoon. I was always rocking him to sleep and someone said to me I was making a rod for my own back which looking back at is very true!! So, we decided to go down the controlled crying route. I had tried it in the past but at the time emotionally it wasnt for us and we gave up on it untill a month ago, thats when it all changed. We tried controlled crying again and it worked I had to go in his nursery about 4 times on the first night and after that I would usually have to go in at least twice. The last couple of nights I can put him down, rub his head/tummy and I can leave the room without him crying and he goes to sleep. Ive always been told to put your baby in their cot wide awake, not to rock them or keep picking them up when they are in their cot ready for bed. Like I said it was hard but worked and we have had no problems since. As for Leah falling back and hitting her head, there are no gaurentee's it wont happy but Im pretty sure it wont I used to think that with Antonio but it never happened, not once. Antonio ALWAYS used to sit up and cry and 5 mins later he would be fast asleep!

Hope this helps. Let us know how you get on, dont expect to much straight away, it took us nearly a month to get into a real routine and peaceful bedtime.

xxx

 

[BabyMagic]

I personally believe that there is a gentle way to any sleeping issue than controlled crying, but I know many people disagree.

For me it sounds like that her last nap is too near her bedtime, but I am not an expert.

I have personally found 'No-Cry Sleep Solution' book by Elizabeth Pantley very helpful xxx

 

[Kimbo]

well for the last half an hour ive been up with her, she was screaming. i got her to sleep, put her in the cot but as soon as her head touched the mattress she woke up again.
I laid her\dow, give her her dummy,but she just rolled over onto her front, stood up and held her arms out to me while crying. repeat repeat repeat.
then i laid her down and went outside the room. SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM for 20 minutes.
So nows she's back down here on my knee crying
im in tears what the hell am i doing wrong i need a break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[happy-chick]

Here's my diary what i also posted for Jen yesterday: viewtopic.php?p=1366326#p1366326

We go in every 5-10 mins and lie her down, say 'night night Ellie, Sleep time now' then give her a kiss and leave the room. There are alternate methods, like sitting in the room shhhhing etc but none of those things worked for us but they seem to for alot of people so if your not happy doing the CC method maybe try some others first?

Controlled crying basically helps them learn how to go to sleep on their own so that when they begin to wake they settle themselves back to sleep, I was never a big fan but since doing it properly its had AMAZING results for us and we're all so much happier for it. It took about 3 nights of 20-40 mins crying on and off at bedtime and we had it cracked, we also did the same during the day for naps but she tended to go off alot quicker. For me personally it was very hard but those 3 nights were definately worth it for the results we have.

We had tried lots of different methods and all failed but I was seriously at breaking point and had to take drastic action!

xxx

 

[beanie]

Kim, to be fair you are changing her routine in one day and expecting her to follow straight away. Its going to take a longer time then that. Like babymagic said her last nap is too late. Is there somethig that makes her nap, like a ride in her buggy etc. What I did with Seren was the same time every day do something that made her sleep, and did it for a while, then she became used to sleeping at that time. Her nap was never any later then 5pm. Her bedtime was late at 11pm so I would move it forward by half an hour every week or so - and eventually she went to bed at 7.30pm no problems. I also used to stay with her saying ssshhh till she went to sleep, then gradually over the weeks I moved away from the cot and she would happily go to sleep by herself. It took a while but it felt like I was helping her to associate sleep and bedtime with positive things and helping her to feel happy to fall asleep.

 

[linzi-x-]

im in tears

 

[pilkers]

I have no miracle advice for you. One thing I would suggest though is to drop the 7pm nap...keep her awake until she gets really knackered then put her to bed. You can then bring this bedtime earlier each day (perhaps forward by 10 minutes every night).

Evie's routine....just so you can compare and contrast

7am - wake up & bottle
8am - breakfast
12pm - dinner
1pm - nap usually an hour (sometime 1 and a half if I'm really lucky)
4pm - tea
6.30pm - bath and supper
7pm - bed

If we're out an about in the car between 8am and 12pm she will usually have a little kip but I tend not to travel great distances so she'll only have 10 mins max and then she wakes when I taker her out of the car anyway...

We have a good routine of bath, supper, brushing teeth, kissing all the in the night garden characters, music on, big hugs, lights off and then a final night night

 

[Kimbo]

i was dropping the 7pm nap... and putting her to bed instead.
she sleeps through from 10pm til 9am fine if shes in my bed, so its not like she wakes up during the night, she just wont sleep without me and its sending me crackers.
I need some help with CC... do I leave her awake after a few minutes, then ignore her even if shes crying for half an hour?

I like the ssshh idea beanie, but it'd be impossible because as soon as i lie her down, shes stood up just as fast so i couldn't stroke her or anything.
thanks for the help

 

[Sherlock]

I'd go with what others have said about moving her bedtime forward a bit every few days. Not making one huge jump in one day. Her bodyclock just doesn't understand that and you need to give her time.

I'd suggest waking her a bit earlier each morning, not by much, but to bring it forward to say 8.30am, maybe 8am even over the course of the next couple of weeks. Let her take her naps in the day, but bring them forward a little also if she is tired. But don't go the 7pm nap. Try to drop that as really its better she sleep properly then than nap then. That is really where her bedtime should be in a few weeks time. Maybe leave getting her ready for bed till she is nicely tired and grumpy and then pop her in to bed at 9-9.30pm and keep doing this for a few nights. Then once that is working, put her to bed half an hour earlier, so 8.30 or so. So long as you are moving her waking up time also for the mornings she should slowly adjust.

I'd go with putting her to bed half an hour earlier every few nights, maybe every four or five, depending on how she adjusts to it.

I'd not do CC as she won't understand it. I'd go with other methods, like the music, dark room, no eye contact, stroking her head, singing to her etc. I am not a fan of the PUPD method either but realise it works for some.

You need to be patient, realise its not going to happen overnight and that to get to your hoped for goal its going to take a few weeks probably.

 

[chickadee1976]

Hi i didnt read all the replies but wanted to say i tried controlled crying with Cameron 10 years ago and it worked a treat.
Cant remember what age he was but he could stand up in his cot and had a dummy. I was also by myself and really needed the peace to myself.

It took approx 4-5 days of crying and hard work but picking up laying down crying and repeating really did work.

After that i would put him to bed, get five minutes of crying/whinging and he would be out like a light.

Its very hard work and stressful, but keep you cool and hopefully it will work out for you too

Good luck

 

[Beatlesfan]

Hi Kim

First of all ... for you. I totally sympathise hun. No sleep is no good!

Lots of good advice from everyone. I agree about gradual changes, as Sherlock says shifting the bedtime back a bit each day. Also about dropping 7pm nap, as many have said. I think it would be too confusing for Leah to be sleeping alone after having your comfort so much so I would say, although we did CC of sorts with Imogen and it worked a treat, I think it could be a bit upsetting for Leah maybe. She has been used to your heat, smell, touch, comfort and closeness. I think a gradual "weaning" off from you would be better, using the stroking, shhing and staying close to her but not holding her. Small steps hun, to hopefully a big outcome where you can have your space and time to yourself, and Leah learns how to fall asleep by herself. Maybe once she gets used to feeling "safe" in her own room and cot and goes off OK with you there, you could judge whether CC would work if she is waking or crying for your attention still??

Keep posting and use the forum to vent. It will hopefully give you a comforting outlet for your frustrations and you will see progress I am sure.

Stay calm and remember Leah needs time to learn the different way in which she needs to go off to sleep. Some babies are very good at getting off to sleep themselves, but I found Imogen, although she showed signs of tiredness (rubbing eyes, grisley, bit wobbly on her feet and yawning) it was like she just didn't know she was tired and did not know what to do. As adults we can think, I am tired, I will lie down and relax and close my eyes until I go to sleep but babies don't know how to do this. When I started thinking of it from this point of view I kind of stopped getting so stressed and I knew it wasn't Imogen's fault, she just needed help learning how to go to sleep by herself. It's finding the strategy that fulfils this that is the challenge! I hope that makes sense and good luck Kim. You are doing a fab job and obviously have thought about Leah's and your own needs so you both benefit.

x x

 

[Kimbo]

Maybe leave getting her ready for bed till she is nicely tired and grumpy and then pop her in to bed at 9-9.30pm and keep doing this for a few nights. .

thanks, do you mean putting her in bed when she's still awake or putting her in after i have got her to sleep?

 

[Kimbo]

Hi Kim

First of all ... for you. I totally sympathise hun. No sleep is no good!

Lots of good advice from everyone. I agree about gradual changes, as Sherlock says shifting the bedtime back a bit each day. Also about dropping 7pm nap, as many have said. I think it would be too confusing for Leah to be sleeping alone after having your comfort so much so I would say, although we did CC of sorts with Imogen and it worked a treat, I think it could be a bit upsetting for Leah maybe. She has been used to your heat, smell, touch, comfort and closeness. I think a gradual "weaning" off from you would be better, using the stroking, shhing and staying close to her but not holding her. Small steps hun, to hopefully a big outcome where you can have your space and time to yourself, and Leah learns how to fall asleep by herself. Maybe once she gets used to feeling "safe" in her own room and cot and goes off OK with you there, you could judge whether CC would work if she is waking or crying for your attention still??

Keep posting and use the forum to vent. It will hopefully give you a comforting outlet for your frustrations and you will see progress I am sure.

Stay calm and remember Leah needs time to learn the different way in which she needs to go off to sleep. Some babies are very good at getting off to sleep themselves, but I found Imogen, although she showed signs of tiredness (rubbing eyes, grisley, bit wobbly on her feet and yawning) it was like she just didn't know she was tired and did not know what to do. As adults we can think, I am tired, I will lie down and relax and close my eyes until I go to sleep but babies don't know how to do this. When I started thinking of it from this point of view I kind of stopped getting so stressed and I knew it wasn't Imogen's fault, she just needed help learning how to go to sleep by herself. It's finding the strategy that fulfils this that is the challenge! I hope that makes sense and good luck Kim. You are doing a fab job and obviously have thought about Leah's and your own needs so you both benefit.

x x

thank you

 

[Sherlock]

Maybe leave getting her ready for bed till she is nicely tired and grumpy and then pop her in to bed at 9-9.30pm and keep doing this for a few nights. .

thanks, do you mean putting her in bed when she's still awake or putting her in after i have got her to sleep?

I'd be ready to have a few early nights with her if need be. But maybe go with asleep first and then progress to awake if she is happy. And then gradually start getting back up once she is settled and asleep as you move her bedtime forward. That way she'll have you near by to comfort her the first few nights and then slowly as she settles you can then leave her once she is asleep and go downstairs. We do that with Galen now and he falls asleep and if he wakes we just go in, settle him back down with his muslin and music and leave the room again. He is used to being in his cot then but falls asleep in our bed usually. We move him within about 10 minutes of him falling asleep.

If she won't cope with awake and earlier then work on one or the other till its solved and then work on the other. I'd go with time first, get that sorted and then start on the being awake to go to bed thing. She'll be older then so a bedtime drink, cuddle and story etc might be a good thing to introduce to encourage this.

 

[Kimbo]

thanks..... i think i'm going to go with the moving bedtime earlier by half an hour every few nights... so i will start with her normal bedtime at 10pm for a couple of night, then 9.30 etc.
I'm going to start after weekend though, as I have my dad here tonight fitting a stairs carpet and he wont be leaving until half 9ish and i have to take him home so tonight will be messed up, then at weekend i'm having a little housewarming and i want leah there so that will mess it up too.. so sunday night i will start

 

[Babylicious]

I would definately drop the tea time nap, Harrison usually has two hour long naps, one around 10am and the other around 2pm, then he's ready for bed at 7.30pm. Although the last couple of weeks he's been waking an hour later and screaming, shushing him hasn't worked so we go in every 5 -10 mins stroke his head and give him his dummy then leave.

 

[NooNoo]

Here's my diary what i also posted for Jen yesterday: viewtopic.php?p=1366326#p1366326

We go in every 5-10 mins and lie her down, say 'night night Ellie, Sleep time now' then give her a kiss and leave the room. There are alternate methods, like sitting in the room shhhhing etc but none of those things worked for us but they seem to for alot of people so if your not happy doing the CC method maybe try some others first?

Controlled crying basically helps them learn how to go to sleep on their own so that when they begin to wake they settle themselves back to sleep, I was never a big fan but since doing it properly its had AMAZING results for us and we're all so much happier for it. It took about 3 nights of 20-40 mins crying on and off at bedtime and we had it cracked, we also did the same during the day for naps but she tended to go off alot quicker. For me personally it was very hard but those 3 nights were definately worth it for the results we have.

We had tried lots of different methods and all failed but I was seriously at breaking point and had to take drastic action!

xxx

what jo said!!

honestly kim. cc worked wonders for me...when i was on my own with mia i was exactly the same...id sit up just crying with her...

Now mia goes to bed at about 7, light off night night see you at about 8 lol


I started cc quite early, id put her down - she would cry, walk out of the room, then i'd wait a minute, go back in, put her dummy in, dont talk to her, walk back out...next time then leave it 2 mins or 1 and half lol...do the same, each time longer in between...

like jo said it took a few nights, its hard listening to them cry but my god is it worth it...

i wouldnt know what to do if mia didnt have a reasonable bed time..lol

 

[Kimbo]

Here's my diary what i also posted for Jen yesterday: viewtopic.php?p=1366326#p1366326

We go in every 5-10 mins and lie her down, say 'night night Ellie, Sleep time now' then give her a kiss and leave the room. There are alternate methods, like sitting in the room shhhhing etc but none of those things worked for us but they seem to for alot of people so if your not happy doing the CC method maybe try some others first?

Controlled crying basically helps them learn how to go to sleep on their own so that when they begin to wake they settle themselves back to sleep, I was never a big fan but since doing it properly its had AMAZING results for us and we're all so much happier for it. It took about 3 nights of 20-40 mins crying on and off at bedtime and we had it cracked, we also did the same during the day for naps but she tended to go off alot quicker. For me personally it was very hard but those 3 nights were definately worth it for the results we have.

We had tried lots of different methods and all failed but I was seriously at breaking point and had to take drastic action!

xxx

what jo said!!

honestly kim. cc worked wonders for me...when i was on my own with mia i was exactly the same...id sit up just crying with her...

Now mia goes to bed at about 7, light off night night see you at about 8 lol


I started cc quite early, id put her down - she would cry, walk out of the room, then i'd wait a minute, go back in, put her dummy in, dont talk to her, walk back out...next time then leave it 2 mins or 1 and half lol...do the same, each time longer in between...

like jo said it took a few nights, its hard listening to them cry but my god is it worth it...

i wouldnt know what to do if mia didnt have a reasonable bed time..lol

do you put her dummy back in even if shes screaming and sat up? what if she refuses the dummy? just go back in after a few minutes, try again, even if she wont take her dummy go back out?