treatment of dads in the hospital?

[nickilubs]

Someones in the ward with me shes having contractions so her oh doesnt want to leave....they are deciding if they should break her waters or not but Im amazed at how off they are being with him. they didnt even offer him a cup of tea!? they just told him that visiting hours are over and then questioned it loads when he said can he stay to see if they were going to take her down to the labour ward. its just me on the ward and i dont mind i said to her if she wants her oh to stay and they ask i will say im fine with it because its nasty being on your own let alone when your in early stages of labour! ant has hardly ben here but i would be really pished off if they were being this rude to him!

 

[Laura_James&Amber]

Thats terrible! The person she needs most at the moment is her OH! Hope your ok hun and not too fed up

 

[samandbump]

they treated my OH like total shit when i was in hospital
i was there for nearly 3 weeks, and they tried to kick him out
all the time, he felt like he wasnt wecome at all there like old matrons!!!

 

[daftscotslass]

Thankfully the hospital were quite good about my OH staying for my induction but he had practically nothing to eat for 24 hours and we had to sneak him cups of coffee and water at the start of my induction. Thankfully the midwife who looked after me in delivery also looked after him, offering him coffee and making sure he was coping!

When Becky was here he was only allowed to visit between 2 and 8 which sucked and he missed us like crazy too.

 

[Hazel]

My DH was ignored ont he ward. He got offered a cup of tea throughout the 12 hours of us being in hospital!!!! Someone came and offered ME lunch at 12noon (5 hours after having Connie) and I opted for stew (it was mainly gristle ) , mash and a banana for pudding, they didn't offer DH anything!!!!!!

I must admit in the delivery suite after Connie was born we both had a lot of tea and sugary hot chocolate forced upon both of us which we were both very grateful for .

 

[nickilubs]

i just coulnt believe they didnt even ask if he wanted a drink....not even water. i know they arnt the ones in pain but its just so rude completly ignoring them surely they could be given the option of if they want a meal with the mum even if they bought it?

 

[HideiLu]

When we first arrive at about 3.30am and labour ward was full we were sent to post natal and the MW that came to the door tried to send James home there and then!

But when I was on the recovery ward after birth they brought me a pot of tea and toast, and same for OH And he said while I was having the seizures they did check on him and ask if he was ok.

After that, they were also very undertsanding on having him around. There were meant to be allocated rest times without any visitors, but he was with us every day from 10am til 9pm

 

[aramintalovegrove]

I remember DH wasnt allowed anything when I was in hospital before and we were actually told food/drinks for patients too not even a tea from the waggon-we actually got told off as i asked for a coffe and gave it to him!

It isnt fair as I think that having OH/birthing partner there actually means that the staff arnt as pressed to be around as much when in the early stages of labour.

When I was in hospital to have DS I was very picky about food and have never eaten at conventional times so I decided to take in my own ready meals rather than struggle with hospital food but fooking helll it was such a pain to put food in a fridge and heat up meals when i wanted them (DH had to use the porters lounge miles away) as there could be nothing prepared on the ward.

 

[Sherlock]

Reading this thread makes me so glad we had a homebirth. This was one of the reasons we didn't want a hospital birth. In case OH had to leave or was made to feel unwelcome.

I'd not have expected him to be fed by the NHS (same as on any ward or unit to be fair) but that I'd have had to have laboured overnight without him there as my support was something I didn't want to happen.

Another reason to labour at home as long as possible.

 

[Redshoes]

Whilst labouring with Isaac OH was sent home at 10:30pm, and everyone knew full well I was going to be induced if not having preogressed enough, in the early hrs, and so it was ridiculous he was sent home to come back just hrs later I feel the same as Sherlock, its one reason why a homebirth is so appealing, taking away a labouring woman's birth partner is scandalous With regards food and drink, I never expected them to feed OH, and as for drinks he just went and made one when he wanted saying it was for me the staff knew and didn't mind anyways, its not their supplies However, I can respect the fact that hospitals have the rules they do and having OH's walking around at all hrs could upset other patients/labouring women, which wouldn't be fair either, we should just all have our own rooms Although I've never experienced staff being unkind to my OH, I think that's out of order and bad practise, manners cost nothing

 

[nickilubs]

Reading this thread makes me so glad we had a homebirth. This was one of the reasons we didn't want a hospital birth. In case OH had to leave or was made to feel unwelcome.

I'd not have expected him to be fed by the NHS (same as on any ward or unit to be fair) but that I'd have had to have laboured overnight without him there as my support was something I didn't want to happen.

Another reason to labour at home as long as possible.

yep that was one of my reasons i wanted one because i didnt want to worry about anthony im dreading it now. I dont know how he will cope with people talking at him, at least at home there would of only been the two of us and the midwifes where as here theres loads of people and they are being rude to the dads anyway. I would try and explain his Aspergers to one of the midwifes but Ive seen so many now that I dont know whos going to be there. also some of them I wouldnt trust not to be really rude to him!

 

[daftscotslass]

Reading this thread makes me so glad we had a homebirth. This was one of the reasons we didn't want a hospital birth. In case OH had to leave or was made to feel unwelcome.

I'd not have expected him to be fed by the NHS (same as on any ward or unit to be fair) but that I'd have had to have laboured overnight without him there as my support was something I didn't want to happen.

Another reason to labour at home as long as possible.

Unfortunately not everyone has the option of labouring at home and I don't know what I would have done if OH hadn't been allowed to stay during the early part of my induction. Particularly if, as in my case, you're stuck in the labour ward for hours it's not as if they can come and go to get something to eat and drink and the small snacks you packed in your hospital bag are long gone.

It seems that in some hospitals a bit of common courtesy wouldn't go amiss - they wouldn't expect a patient or member of staff to go a day without sleep, food or water but it seems fine in some places to let that happen to partners of labouring women! And that's when they're actually allowed to stay...

 

[nickilubs]

it gets worse! just been and got a drink and there was a girl in pain and beiing sick when i came back walking past the desk her oh is getting told the visiting hours and that he has to leave.

 

[Mildly]

That doesn't sound very nice

I now have visions of my OH being removed forcibly by security as he isn't one to be told what to do by random people. Also he has said that there is no way they are sending him home if things are happening.

 

[Steelgoddess]

Nikki ur scaring me !!

 

[Mrs_Jay]

this is the main reason i want a home birth this time. i went into hospital because my waters broke and they were thinking about inducing me. But i started getting contractions at 1am. but OH wasnt allowed in until visting hours at 9am it was awful going through that on my own at night

 

[Carebear2]

That happens at most hospitals if not all its about patient security(not letting partners stay) and they will not break the rules for anyone. I'm not really fussed about it because yes i know my OH will not turn into somthing manic if anything goes wrong and hurt anyone but i can't say that about anyone elses partner, i'd rather be safe then sorry any day.

When i had my son someones partner turned nasty on the ward to his lady(who tried to blame it on the noise of the crying babies ) and staff and it was really scary. i kept thinking why don't they take him out already but the staff were scared too and then security removed him

 

[Strangeness]

When I was being induced on the ward they tried to make my dh leave in the 12 til 2pm rest for mum's and babies. I'd only got there at 8.30am! I said no I'm being induced he's staying and they let him eventually. He had to leave at 8pm though and I spent the night in labour on my own. After I had her I got up to the ward at 10pm and they kicked him out straight away! They are so strict on visiting!

 

[lfc_sarah]

It was horrible seeing Lee leave every night after visiting hours were over when i was in the hospital with Callum

 

[Steelgoddess]

Hmmm thats odd at the hozzie im at they said when I start getting contractions OH will be called, also I thought when you get contractions you get taken down to the labour ward??? I could be wrong

Home birth does not nessarily mean better birth and visa versa, we also need to be a bit considerate to those that ARE going in to be induced/ birth in hospital whom are nervous enough already without having to read how awful it may or may not be!!