Thought I was doing so well

[Tick-Tock]

I have just had my first very public breakdown.....

I am having to sort out a lot of hassles with my driving licence and its been getting on top of me a bit and I then found out after the third time they have sent my application back that i have to have a medical...

I took the form to the docs surgery and they told me I needed a double appointment at a cost of £80...... I had only just been holding it together by that point and just collapsed in hysterical fits of tears...... they were very nice and have arranged an appointment for this afternoon to talk to someone. Although i can't imagine what to talk about, I was having a baby and now I'm not... what can anyone do??????

 

[MissGobby]

awwwwwww sweetie im so sorry you feel like this - dont really know what to say as i have never been in that position so im not going to say i know what it feels like - so im just going to send you lots and lots of hugs

 

[valentine]

Hi Tick-Tock,

I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling so low, however I'm not surprised you broke down, £80 on top of everything else is the last thing you need at the moment.

Maybe it'll be good just to chat to someone about how you feel, yes, no-one can make you pregnant again (well, not without trying to!) but they can listen and maybe prescribe some help and support - that might be counselling or medication - or maybe it'll be good just to talk to a stranger.

Thinking of you and let us know how you are later today if you can.

Love

Valentine xxx

 

[sazzleevans]

Hi

Do you know what stood out the most for me on your posting?? It was your signature "better luck next time". I dont think this is really how you feel. I have been through a loss and its what peole say "better luck next time" or " its just not meant to be. Must be for the best", but this can really hurt as you wanted that baby so much...Better luck next time means your back to square one ttc again. I might be totally wrong but what i am trying to say is I understand your loss.

It takes time, thats all i can say. I have been through a roller coaster and i am sure you are going through the same. Take care on yourself and if i can share any of my tips its not to set yourself too many goals in getting back to normal. It takes time and what happened today just shows your human!!!

Sarah x

 

[fothers]

Hi Tick-tock-

I too had an embarrassing breakdown today at work- I just could not stop crying. I know exactly how you feel.

I got a letter from the hospital a while ago about miscarriage counsellors (sp?) and don't know whether it would help or not. I keep thinking of it but can't decide.

 

[sazzleevans]

I have got my first session for this on Friday...Worth a go.

Sarah

 

[Happybunny]

Hi Tick Tock honey,

I am so sorry to hear things are difficult for you. It is completely normal for something like this to happen...you have been under immense emotional and physical strain...it wouldn't take much to make you break down. The important thing is that you ease up on yourself....you are not silly or over reacting and there is no time limit for you to grieve. I understand it feels embarrassing, but people understand that you are going through a tough time.
A similar thing happened to me last Monday when I began work again after my mc. I thought I was ok, hadn't cried for a week...but as soon as I walked through the school doors I collasped into tears. I think it was a combination of being stressed about not being totally ready for work and worrying about telling people about the m/c. I felt silly...but I am glad I went through it, people really did understand. I made it through the rest of the day ok.
Things will happen that will make you to cry...just let it happen and know that people will not think you are silly...if they do, who cares?
I am going to counselling too. You are right, there is nothing the nurse can do to bring the baby back, but I am hoping she will be able to ally some of my fears about conceiving again and maybe even give me some answers about why it happened. I know getting answers wont help, but I just need to feel that it was a one off reason that wont happen a third time.
I want to send you a big and tell you that I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. I am here if you ever need a friend.
Love and hugs
Michelle
xxxx

 

[Tick-Tock]

Thought I should update you all. I went to the doctors appintment yesterday afternoon and bawled all the way through it. The doc was very nice, I hadn't seen her before and she commented that although she didn't really know me (I've not been at this practice for long) but it was her that opened the letter from the hospital about my scan.. I don't know why but that made me feel like we had a connection.... She said all the things you expect, and wasn't patronising at all. She kept saying " i know you know this" and "I know probably it won't help, but". She asked me the usual, questions about appetite and sleeping. i think the practice manager had thought I was going to top myself and thats why she wanted me to have an appointment.

The main benefits I got out of it was being able to ask a couple of silly questions. Like they say that your cycles go back to normal after 4-6 weeks but is that from the start of the m/c, the medical management or the end of bleeding (the medical management by the way). And can I have a bath if I'm still bleeding? (sometimes a shower isn't good enough) she is fairly sure my cervix will be closed so it won't be a problem, sex is still a no-no though. I may sound a bit weird as this is something I am really missing... I've heard people go either way on this after a M/C, but for some reason, although we have been very close since (IYKWIM) I am craving that closeness. (sorry if TMI)

thank you so much for all your support. I know this won't be my last bad day and its comforting to know that this forum is here.

By the way i spoke to the DVLA again and I don't need the bloody medical after all........

P.S. sazzleevans, I don't mean to sound heartless by my better luck next time comment, but at the moment it is only that thought that enables me to get up in the morning. thank you for your concern though, I know you only have my best interests at heart. We weren't TTC when I got PG although its something I have wanted for a long time, OH thought it would be a couple of years down the line. Once I have had one cycle we will TTC, we both want the family we have been dreaming of for the last three months.

 

[sazzleevans]

Hi

Dont be at all sorry. I am really pleased its a positive comment and not something tongue in cheek as your so fed up..Thats good news and a great starting point.

Big hugs
Sarah

 

[fynemum]

A good bawl helps heaps
You take care and let it all out whenever you want...
lv Yvonne xx