Think my OH has given up

[sarah1]

Hi ladies,

Sorry I haven't been around much, not been doing so well with the whole thing and the big mess we are currently in. I had about 100 (ok about 12) blood tests on Monday - repeats for the lupus thing and also some new ones because I've been feeling really ill and out of breath recently. My Mum had her thyroid gland partly removed when she was in her 20's so they test me a lot for under/over active thyroid. In a way I hope they find something so I can stop feeling crap.

My OH is very not bothered by everything at the moment, its hard to tell whether deep down he is upset with me or the situation or whether he genuinely doesn't care. I've talked to him a bit about it but he just brushes the whole thing off. One of his best mates just had a baby and I can tell he's upset but he won't talk to me about it. We saw one of his friends in town today who is engaged, and I said kind of off-hand 'oh they'll be having a baby soon too', and he got all funny with me, saying its not a competition etc etc. I've seen him staring at women who are pregnant and women with babies and it breaks my heart to know he might resent me forever for not giving him children.

I'm seeing the doctor in 3 weeks. Still a long time away! I'll unfortunately be already too far into a new cycle to take clomid again, so will have to wait again next cycle. I don't know what to do if they want to up the doseage - I don't want that. I want 50 mg of clomid with progesterone separately..... I don't want any of it, really , no clomid, no stupid side effects, no low progesterone, no uterine polyps, no PCOS .

Boo. We need cheering up I think this month. Bring on christmas! xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[LouiseB]

Honestly Sarah, i don't think he resents you for not being able to give him children

If anything, he probably resents the stress and drama that maybe you are creating because you want it so badly?

My hubby has little patience for me when i start on about how i can't face his sister because she is pregnant.

They just don't feel the same panic as we do.

I think you need to go with the flow regarding the clomid. I think saying that you don't want a higher dose is a bit like saying you don't want children because if the doctors think that is what you need to get pregnant then you just need to embrace it.

I know it isn't ideal, but you can't bury your head int he sand and expect everything to turn out for the better.

Just try your best to take it one step at a time and focus on the relationships that you do have with your OH and family and friends. I think it will make you much happier in meantime

 

[maybe baby]

Girls I'm not joking my Hubby is exactly the same, I don't think there's any thing we can do about it as they are stuck being MEN!!!

Just imagine how they'd cope with it all, they're a nightmare when they have a cold- sorry 'Man flu!'

Sarah I really hope you get sorted and start feeling better soon, maybe make the most of a little TTC break and have some fun ( easier said than done I know!)

Also Hun please remember you can get pregnant and hopefully when all these bloods are done you'll feel more relaxed about things.

Sorry you're having such a hard time remember we are all here for support and for a good bitch about men!

xx

 

[maybe baby]

Omg had the biggest barny with hubby about clomid, I could kill him I was that cross, he's saying I just want it to get preggers and I exaggerated my cycles to the doc, I was like you can get lost because you've seen with your own eyes when my OV is for months and months!!

He was saying he thought I was going to be paitent and relax I said you can get lost as I've actually handled everything pretty well thanks over the last few months!!

Then he's saying about not doing OPKs etc well this cycle would have been a complete waste of time if we didnt!!

He didn't really believe me that something must be wrong til the 5 th chemical pregnancy and it makes me so angry now that he thinks I don't need clomid and that im just creating drama I was told I could have clomid this cycle and I didn't take it I was planning on trying naturally til OV came on cd 25!!!
!

Not happy!!!

Xx

I didn't ask for any of this shite!

 

[Star33]

Hi Hun. Men dont show there emotions well not all the way woman do, we often think they dont care but deep down they do. Am sure he loves you more than the thought of having a baby, have you both spoke about what IF ya know if it dont happen how would he feel. I had to have this talk with my husband & he said as long as he has me then thats all that matters, he is with me for me & not what i can & cant give him i.e children.

Maybe the ttc talk is getting to much for him, especially if you comment on how quick others are going to get caught. Saying that though i do the same as you & my dh says nothing! that i HATE cause i feel sometimes he aint arssed if he does or dont have kids.

Its like i got my bfn yesterday & today & i told him & he said, oh are you not, never mind i will buy you a elephant. < A mean i know he was just putting light into this stressfull situation but thats really what i didnt want to hear but i let it go over my head cause i know its not his fault.

I know 3 weeks sounds long but its not really & Good things come to those who wait I am sure the clomid will work for you & yes try get the progesterone cyclogest. Good luck hun. xx

 

[sarah1]

Maybe - my hubby also thought I was making it all up until I had the PCOS etc confirmed. Nice to know they have faith in us hey?! I keep saying to my hubby that I HATE taking clomid and having to go for scans, its horrible! You are right, we didnt want any of this! Mmff, hope he apologises to you soon!! Tell me about it with the man flu. I'll be doubled over with IBS pain or something and my hubby'll go 'oo I've got a bit of tummy ache' HAVE YOU?!!! haha, I never realised how true it was about the pain thing.

Star - thanks, its good to know I'm not going crazy alone. The weird thing is my hubby is incredibly emotional (more than me) and always gets upset about things. We've had the chat many times, I think he now just thinks we won't have children but he won't talk about it with me cos he doesn't want me get upset. We've said we will try and adopt if it doesn't happen. I suppose the big problem is that even if he is ok without having any children I don't know if I am. I'm not in a mega rush to have a baby right now, if I knew there was a definite baby at the end of all this then I'd be happy to wait. Not knowing is the worst bit.

At least your hubby makes jokes! If I make any ttc-related jokes he reeally doesn't seem to find them funny. I reckon he's just having a hard time of it cos all of his mates are having babies atm. I keep telling him he should perhaps confide in a friend about the whole thing (we haven't told anyone, not even family) but he won't have it xxx