Things you may have done differently and things you wouldnt.

[nori]

Hi All,

Well i thought i'd start this thread as im finding myself thinking "i wish i'd done that" or "i wish i had bought that instead of that" quite often.. I thought it may help others who are still expecting.

For me here are things i'm glad i did:

I'm glad i bought a cotbed rather than a cot (Ollie doesnt care how big it is)
I'm glad i bought the moses basket stand to go with the moses basket (handy for downstairs)
I'm glad i bought a lot of bargains round carboots especially the musical light shows for the cot
I'm glad i didnt buy a lot of newborn babygrows/clothes and used the ones handed down to me as they grow out of them far too quick
I'm glad i bought a microwave steriliser
I'm glad i bought the silvercross 3D travel system
I'm glad i have a cot top changer
I'm glad i made a gift list at John Lewis (was handy to keep track of what we were buying and if anyone asked what you wanted)
I'm glad i bought ALOT of muslin squares!
I'm glad i had pethedine during labour
I'm glad i bought some comfy jogging bottoms for after the birth (i've had to live in them due to the c-section)
I'm glad i found this site

Heres a list of things i may possibly have done differently:

I would have looked after my niece more so i got to know the behaviour of babies a bit better and learnt that crying is normal
I would have considered the fact that i may have a C section when packing my hospital bag and included bloody big knickers to cover the scar
I wouldnt have bothered buying disposable knickers.. you all told me they were a waste of time yet i didnt listen!
I would have maybe gone for Tommie Tippee bottles as they are more like the boob and maybe i could have conquered both bottle and boob without the nipple confusion.
I would have maybe tried introducing a dummy in hospital to save the state of my nipples as Ollie was on them 24 hours a day pretty much
I would have expressed my boobie milk rather than just sticking with the bottle and formula (yes i know ladies.. i STILL havent moved on from the whole breastfeeding disaster)
I wouldnt have been so narrowminded when it came to people "giving up" breastfeeding and the whole issue of co-sleeping. I always thought people gave up too quickly with the breastfeeding (little did i know how hard it was and how devasting it is for people who had their hearts on breastfeeding to have to stop) and i also swore i would always ensure baby was in his cot and didnt sleep with us.. Ollie is often snuggling up with me and i love it!

Anything you ladies may have done slightly differently or glad you did??

Claire x

 

[Squiglet]

I should have refused to go to the hospital until it was too late when in labour... I should have walked out the hospital on day 2 after birth...baby and all and I should have denounced the SCBU unit over the breastfeeding issue and trying to force me to take tablets to dry up my milk and not telling me!!!!

Everything else was fine but I had the benefit of foresight with it being my second.

 

[Hazel]

Asked for more help from family in the beginning instead of trying to do everything and get a bit of time to get out for an hour or two on my own in the first few months once a week for a break.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Nothing in the circumstances i was in last year. I was living at my mils house when i gave birth and 3 weeks after.

I would have had a home birth but couldn't due to where I was.

I would have liked to breastfeed, but i can't due to dodgy milk supply and my son requiring my attention 24/7.

And with my 3rd baby i am not even going to bother with a moses basket. It will be the cot.

Pretty happy with my choices though i made with imms.

 

[daftscotslass]

Looking back on it I kind of went with the flow so I now feel I did what I had to do at the time. No regrets, really. The only things I'd change would be to...

Not get a big travel system again. Hate hate hate. Was a total waste of money for us as she outgrew the carrycot part by 3 months and looked silly in the huge big buggy.

Not ask for an epidural. I know I can do without it now and because of my circumstances the last time it's now doubtful I'd be allowed one again anyway.

I wouldn't have the 3rd stage injection.

I'd try to breastfeed again.

 

[ninjawomble]

Im sad I didnt:-

-Perservere with bfing, I really really tried I did, and have been made to feel a right failure since . next time Id express even more like a demon than before, and not freak out about LO not feeding and caving in to formula

- Enjoy my pregnancy more, instead of worrying over every little thing

- Exercise (while preggers) as I usually do, coz I was scared...it made me put on four bloody stone, and I was always really proud of my figure and my hard work in having it

- Demand to be induced sooner, instead of letting the hospital decide that their policy of leaving it up to 92 hours after waters break before induction is the right one. Then Isla wouldnt of been scooped to scbu with the staff worrying she had an infection and being pumped full of iv antibiotics...which incidently left the poor thing with oral thrush

Im glad I :-

- Had an epidural! Id put in my birth plan that I did not want this.....god did I soon change my mind!

- Moisturised every day with cocoa butter..I KNOW my stretchers would be ten times worse otherwise

- Gave up smoking when I got preggers.....giving Isla the best start

- Decided to ttc in march, and got drunk on champagne the night I got engaged.............. et voila, one baby!!

 

[Sherlock]

TBH I think I'd do the same over again in all respects. I had a good pregnancy and a great labour and birth at home. And apart from Galen being a ferocious boob monster and hardly sleeping during the day I pretty much managed to do all the things I hoped to do once he was here with regard to his care and feeding.

The only thing I'd like to have done was to use our sling/baby carrier to carry him round in the early months. Because of my bladder problems I just wasn't able to. And I doubt I'll be able to use it should we have another for the same reason. But other than that, nope, I'd not want to change anything or do anything differently.

 

[LisaJ1986]

With regards to labour i would do it the same again. I wouldn't have bothered with Pethidine again as it didn't have time to kick in as she was born before so i had a numb leg for nothing.

I wish i bought my pram earlier, for when she was newborn.

I wish i'd never co-slept, it's been too much. I haven't slept properly since i started co-sleeping at 12 weeks.

I'm glad my OH bugged me into breastfeeding!

And everything else has been sort of on the spot decisions and i'm so proud of her.

 

[Babylicious]

The only thing I would have changed is continued breast feeding

 

[beanie]

With Seren I wish I had had more confidence in my parenting choices, and gone with my instincts more, and to have got more support locally with breastfeeding so perhaps it wouldn't have been as tough as it was. I did this with Cally and it has worked out fab and there is nothing I would have changed.

 

[valentine]

Things I am so glad I did:-

Had my happy drug free home birth
I was the first person ever to touch my baby and found out sex myself
Had our amazing special DD's 'birth day' just the three of us, being together and bonding - the best day ever in my life, no visitors
Kept schedule of visitors for a few weeks when DD was a newborn and not allowed us to become overwhelmed
Sent out thank you cards for 'birth gifts' with mini photo of DD as newborn included - people seemed to really appreciate this
Kept on top of my photos on the computer, filed them by each day so I can always tell how old DD was and what we did when - we've got thousands
Breastfed exclusively for a year
Started solids at 6 months and did mainly BLW
Started a bedtime routine at 7 weeks which led to her sleeping 12+ hours a night, she's still a brilliant sleeper
Used reusuable nappies 99.9% of the time (only don't if we're staying away overnight)
Gone to baby massage and baby groups in my village and now know loads of mums and people in my village and have a lovely support network of mums with children a similar age
Bought loads and loads from charity shops and car boots and accepted hand-me-downs, visited sales - saved me an absolute fortune

Things I wish I'd done differently:-

Not allowed the midwives to break my waters, the only intervention I consider myself to have had during my birth, I wish I'd let nature fully take its course
Not bought my Mamas and Papas pram, and I'd thought about WHY and WHERE I would use a pram and bought one to suit
Used a sling more when DD weighed less!
Printed out photos monthly and done a photo album, put photos in frames, collages, scrapbook etc - I've been really lazy with this and mostly everything is still on the computer
Kept more weekly info about DD's 'new things' she was doing - I can't remember when she got her first tooth, started doing certain things for the first time - awful I know

I'll probably come back and edit when I think of more.

Valentine Xxx

 

[Sherlock]

Kept more weekly info about DD's 'new things' she was doing - I can't remember when she got her first tooth, started doing certain things for the first time - awful I know

I started doing my own baby book with a big photo album and little white drawing cards to go with them. The first month I broke down week by week then the rest I started doing month by month. Alas I've not had time to do more but I have been making notes in the diary as to when things like teeth appeared and jabs happened etc. First proper smile, sitting up and all that. Just a case to now get around to sitting down and putting it all in the album. We get photos printed and I choose a few from each month to go with the things I am writing about.

 

[valentine]

I know, I've had scrapbooks and photo albums sitting ready since she was born and I know how I would do them, I just wish I'd got round to it.

 

[Sherlock]

Its amazing how there just isn't time to sit and do the books isn't it. I mean, I have time in the evening but I am such a perfectonist with it all I sit and try and 2 hours later I've ripped up endless cards and am not happy with what I've written

I reckon I'll still be trying to do this for the next decade at this rate

 

[claire2711]

I'd do everything the same ......my wee man is perfect and we are all happy

 

[lea m]

The only thing I wish I could have done is breastfeed!
With my previous pregnancys I wish I could go back and not have pethedine/diamorphine with them, I wish I would have got a changing unit with them all! (Lol always thought they were a waste of money but I love mine and saves my back! Wondered why i always had a bad back lol) Found other slings to try instead of the Tomy front carrier I had with Joseph! Bad back so little use!

 

[Mildly]

Really glad that:-
I got out and about within the first week even after my c section. I think I would have gone crazy at home.
I didn't beat myself up about mix feeding - it has really worked well for us and is the best of both worlds.
I took LO to mother and toddler/baby groups from around 4 weeks. I think it has been really good for him to get interested in other little people.
We bought the M&P 03 sport, it is really good for walking the dog with and the car seat fits in the basket trolley's at the supermarket so I don't have to wake LO up.
My OH is so supportive, I'm not sure I could have been so relaxed without him.


Wish that:-
I had demanded LO's tongue tie be released before we left the hospital after birth.
OH had taken more than a week off after the birth.
We had said no to visitors for a couple of weeks.
I had been aware that babies cry for no reason sometimes.
I had realised breastfed babies need constant feeding (in my case, even now 3 months on).
I had slinged him from newborn (although I get the feeling he still wouldn't have liked it much).

 

[xmcnickyx]

I go over and over these things still and it drives me crazy!

I'm glad:

*I had her! Stupid I know but I was really unhappy when I found out I was pregnant and wasn't too sure I wanted to go through with it. She's awesome though, can't believe I ever doubted it.
*We said yes to visitors - I'm so happy everyone got to meet Molly in the first couple of weeks. I loved seeing peoples reaction to her when she was so small.
*I got the Quinny. Being able to put the car seat straight on the frame has made life so much easier.
*I didn't listen to people telling me what to buy - all the newborn stuff still fits her and 0-3 would have swamped her in the first few weeks.
*My OH is such a total dude and that my family are so amazing. My sister made sure my OH got to see his daughter being born by rushing him to the hospital at 4am - she's a star.
*I stayed so relaxed. I was chilled through my whole pregnancy and the birth.
*I got out and about and stayed as active as possible after my section. It's helped to heal.


I wish:

*I would have been firmer about my diabetes treatment. I don't feel that I need insulin and feel that I was kind of condemned to a crappy birth experience because of it. Being induced early also meant Molly was jaundiced which was the main reason Breasfeeding wasn't succesful. Long one but something that bothers me.
*I would have tried gas and air. Not sure if it would have meant things would have been different but I should have given it a go instead of going straight for the epidural.
*I hadn't caved in to the midwives in hospital and given Molly a bottle and continued with cup feeding till she was over her jaundice. I know now that even weeks after she was born she'd still latch on so she'd have fed eventually!
*I'd have given one particular midwife a piece of my mind for being such a cow to me when Molly was born. I'm still angry about it and still considering complaining!

 

[zebrastripes]

I'd have liked a natural birth, but alas, caesarean it was. Still,apart from that i wouldn't change a thing, as everything has worked out well

 

[poochielove]

I am glad i decided to come off my medication in order to breast feed even though my panic attacks are quite bad again i dont care!
I am glad i ignored all the dickheads who took the piss out of the name Teddy and called it him anyway...suits him down to the ground!
I am glad i didnt have an epidural even though at one point i was begging for it, i ended up doing it on G&A only
I am glad i moved house as it it so much better for him, even if i did move at 36 weeks and give birth 2 weeks later!

I wish he hadnt gone into intensive care as soon as he was born (not that anyone could help it)
I wish i had been more assertive and told my family to stand back and give me some space when he was born, insted of pretty much invading my space straight the way with visits constantly and draining me.
I wish i had got more sleep before he was born
I wish i had enjoyed being pregnant more...i miss my bump!
I wished i could go back and cherish him being a newborn more, i feel like being in hospital for a week hindered it.