Terrified of telling my mum!!

[floridagirl]

Hi ladies
Anyone else scared to tell thier mum?
I am almost 39 and have 2 children aged 9&6. We always wanted 3 children and was made up 2 years ago when I got pregnant. My mum went mad . She said that it was totally selfish of us to have another and that it was unfair on our other two children (less presents at Christmas, less holidays and most of all less attention). She even told our children to expect no holidays and no attention from then on!!! I ended up having a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks and we was totally deverstated (my mum was sympathetic but said 'I told you you are too old')
After long hard chats we decided to give it one last try and I am now 5 weeks pregnant . We think we are going to tell her after the 12 week scan but I am worried that not only will she be mad that I am pregnant but she may also be upset that we did not tell her sooner. We go away for the weekend with them and my sisters family in 3 weeks so I will be 8 weeks pregnant (fingers crossed).
What would you do? Tell now or after 12 weeks?

 

[boobalou]

Tell her now and remember its your life, you babies life and you are 39years old. She has no right to tell you what to do, and its not even a reason that you cant have another one cos you have 2 and they will get less! Seriously!

 

[PyscoFalcon]

Tell her and tell her tought titties if she dosen't like it.

My husband is 1 of 3 and had a much better life and holidays than I did and I'm 1 of 2! (we had like 2 holidays over the entire 15 years I lived at home) my brother also had all the attention and still does.

Yet hubby had at least 1 holiday a year - even touring france! The youngest brother has only just gone to Uni and his mum is 59 so no your not too old.

You want 3 kids then have 3 kids. The age gaps are good that they can still play together but also do there own thing and family holidays are ideal for you.

 

[floridagirl]

Lol, it is silly that at my age I am scared of my mum but my husband is just as scared of her too lol

 

[jodied]

I agree tell her and get it out of the way so that you can relax and concentrate on you and baby. I'm sure if you say that you reflected long and hard after your loss and were both sure that you wanted a third child and you hope she can be happy for you both that she will find it harder to be negative x

 

[mumsy4]

Aw hun I know exactly how you feel except mines my flipping nan. She's more like a mum to me, and she's going to go off her head!! I wouldn't mind but realistically wtf difference does it make to her, I don't palm my kids off o her and we see her every few weeks, I'm very independent. I keep going over in my head that I'm just gonna sit her down and say I'm having a baby, I'm happy about it. Don't make any snide remarks because it's happening and that's that. Enjoy.
Easier said then done though right..... x

 

[mumsy4]

Ps I'd tell her after the scan if u can get away with it, unless maybe she'll notice your not drinking a d being sick in the mornings lol, x

 

[VikkiR]

Congratulations if it were me I wouldn't tell her until I was showing or even after, why have the confrontation? It's your life and your family and you're a grown woman. If she gets upset why you didn't tell her, just politely remind her why xx
Ps I'm a first time mum at 41 with an opinionated mother

 

[SunnySue]

TBH I think her reaction last time was outrageous, she had absolutely no right to react like that and even less right to say those things to your children
If telling her is going to cause drama and spoil what should be a happy time then I wouldn't tell her. Also, I am guessing you are worried enough as it is without your Mum adding more stress to your situation.
You are old enough to make your own decisions, you do not need your Mums permission. If she starts when you do tell her i would say this to her.
Good luck

 

[jojo3972]

I am also 39 and last year wen I got preg my mam was so disapointed mainly cos of my age and I had a bad time with placenta after my last baby was born she was worried it will happen again and this time I might not be so lucky this also scared me but after research I decided I wanted another altho my pregnancy ended at 5.5 weeks ish took another )r to fall again now age 39 I was worried about telling my mum I did so and I jst said look its our life I will do what I like if u have anything to say say it go off on one and I'm going home I can't be done with it as was at her house she just said she was worried is all that pregnancy also ended but at 10 weeks I am now trying again this is my first cycle after erpc 7 weeks ago and if/when I fall again I won't be telling anyone if I can help it till I get a scan after 10 weeks even if I have a gd scan before that I learnt that lesson last time,moral of story its ur life tell ur mother to butt out n do not say a word to 'your' children tut I'm realy disgusted she actualy did that she had no right ur kids hate ur baby before its even hear fgs can't have holidays bcos of it ppfftt silly woman wat the hell was she thinking,gd luck in this pregnancy hope all goes okk xxx