Terrified of getting pregnant

[wifeywifey]

I had a mc in september which went "ok" until a week after when I ended up bleeding heavily. I got admitted to hospital with signs of infection put on iv antibiotics and given medication to try help my body let go of remainder. It didnt work and after nearly 24 hours of bleeding heavily and still signs of infection I was rushed for emergency surgery and preped for a blood transfusion. They never did the transfusion even tho my haemoglobin levels dropped dangerously low. Anyway after a couple more days in hospital my temp finally started to drop and they let me home.i decided after that to go to collage and get a career and no more kids. Well my husband really wants another child and I wont even consider it. It might be a bit dramatic but I thought I was going to die. I have two young sons who I thought were going to grow up without a mum and feel its too risky. Anyway sorry for rambling on. My question is has anyone been through something similar and gone on to have a healthy pregnancy or if you did mc was it the same. I dont intend on having another child yet but the fear of accidently getting pregnant even tho im using contraception makes me not want to be intimate with hubby.

 

[candymycandy]

Hi wifey. My experience wasn't exactly the same but I didn't want to read and run. I had a MC in jan and although it was relatively 'smooth' compared to other experiences I read about, the thought of going through that again does petrify me. I wasn't physically in danger though by the end of it, so can't fully understand what you're going through. I'm ttc my first again now. Have you spoken to the doc? I wonder if it would be helpful to talk everything through with someone about your worries. Sorry I can't be of more help xx

 

[cam]

Hello sorry for your loss i went through a very similar experience in september 2012 i had a mmc and they left me to naturally misscary but a week later i was rushed to hospital with heavy bleeding and needed an erpc and transfusion. I too was terrified of being pregnant and having a repeat of this, i swore wed never try again and i was happy with the 2 i had but after a few months i felt a bit better and the want for another child wouldnt go away so we tryed again i got pregnant quickly and although happy i was scared from the moment i took the test until he was born.
Theres no way of knowing if it will happen again doctors told me next time would be fine but even with a reassurance scan at 6 weeks i still worried but i would of had an erpc straight away if it had happened again to save the stress all over again the sight of blood terrifies me now.
Hope this helps a little,give yourself some time to heal and talk to your doctor about your fears ,i know its not an easy decision to make but im so happy we tryed again as i now have a happy 4mth old x

 

[wifeywifey]

Thanks for your replys.
Candy I don't know about taking it through. I dont think I want to know all the details a lot I dont remember between the blood loss and fever I was out of it. Cam i still freak out every time I have a period. Im so happy you went on to have a healthy pregnancy. I have two sons and hoping to start collage in september so focusing on that and have no intention of trying for another but the fear is unbelievable. Thank you

 

[cam]

I started having panic attacks when my period came back after the op it was horrendous i ended up getting really heavy periods which they think was caused by stress which made me stressed even more! hope you feel better soon and good luck with college x

 

[Lilmisshopeful]

Hi hun. Sorry for you loss. I totally get where your fear is coming from. Last July we discovered our baby had died and my body wouldn't let go I was 15 weeks. I was taken down for an erpc and then it went wrong. During the op they slipped and pierced a hole in my uterus and damaged the outer layer of my bowel. They didn't notice right away till I was in recovery and the machines went mental and I had a fever and was complaining something didn't feel right. He asked me in what way and I said I dunno it's just not right and I'm bleeding. He said that's normal and I said no I'm really bleeding. He had a look then alarms were ringing everywhere and surgeons and doctors were running round pumping blood into me and it was just pouring out of me. They shoved a form at me to sign it was for a hysterectomy worst case and a colostomy bag if my bowel had a hole. All the knew was internal bleeding. I woke up in intensive care recovery 12 hours after going down for a 10 minuter erpc having lost over 2 litres of blood. I was lucky they managed to repair my uterus and they skimmed my bowel so was very lucky it was just grazed. I had tubes going in and drains coming out of me it was horrific and at that point I said never again. They offered me tests which I declined saying not a hope in hell I would try again after that I was terrified I was going to die and my daughter being without a mum....... But 2 months later my urge for a baby was back and after lots of talking to doctors and the results of why my baby died and the op went wrong we decided one more go. I'm now 15+5 and am bricking it. I've not enjoyed a single day as I am just terrified of what might happen. But so far so good and hopefully I get to take this baby home. Ive had no problems at this time so it's looking good but the fear is immense.

The fear never leaves hun just sometimes over feelings take over and desires are stronger than fears. Wish you all the best just wanted you to know you can get past it but at your pase xxx

 

[wifeywifey]

Thanks lilmiss. Sounds like you had a horrendous time and im really sorry for your loss. I thought by now my fear would have calmed but its just got worse. Its not helped that I would have been nearly due by now. I have a scar on my wrist where he eventually got the tube in for a transfusion which is a constant reminder. No one could understand why they didn't give me blood I was ill for weeks after too while my iron levels were low. Thank you so much for sharing your story qnd fingers crossed this is your take home baby. X

 

[wifeywifey]

Thanks cam. The first couple were that heavy I nearly went to hospital I was that scared lol. Im glad I have collage to focus on and will hopefully get over the fear and maybe one day even plan another pregnancy.

Thanks for all your posts you msde me feel a bit more "normal" now

 

[cam]

yes they were especialy the second i went to hospital to get checked out as i was worried they couldnt find an explanation for it so put it down to stress. My gp told me if its really bad take some ibruprofen as it makes your bleeding lighter it worked but i try not to take it too much