Terrified im going to die giving birth

[mabelina]

Please tell me this is normal and im not the only one with this fear? Im only 4 - 5 weeks pregnant with my first, and i cant help but think this is leading to my impending death. I wake up every morning (after an awful nights sleep) and the dreaded fear hits me like a ton of bricks. Im constantly shaking and so miserable, and forever doing Tarot cards hoping to have the answer that i'll be just fine

 

[EllieBelle]

Hun Im not a mum yet, so hi-jacking the thread!

I think you need to go and speak to your midwife or doctor about your fears and soon, as Im sure its your hormones causing you to think irrationally and I dont think its common to have such concerns!

I am so impatient and cannot wait to meet my LO, but never had the fear that I might die during childbirth!

Please put the tarot cards away.....I dont think they are doing you or your concerns any good at all hun.

Im sure others can give much better advice....

 

[LisaJ1986]

I've never had these thoughts either. But i agree, absolutely put those cards away! They do not help matters!
See a GP, or your midwife at the booking appointment. The sooner the better.

 

[cez8457]

I thought about it afew times when i was pregnant, think its normal to have a few worries, ut if your waking up thinking of it straight away and shaking etc, i think you should see your gp. When i use to think of it, it could have been partly coz i wanted to give birth in the birthing centre rather than hospital, where there would be no doctors. I would talk to your GP hun.

 

[Minxy]

I'm sorry you feel like this. First tri hormone can lead to all sorts of extreme thoughts IMO, but if they persist into second tri and beyond I'd be talking to someone about it.

I hope you feel better about it all soon xx

 

[Laura_James&Amber]

I've never felt this way hun and I think you need to speak to your doctor about your fears. Also put the tarot cards away, they won't be doing you any good, if anything they will make you panic more. Please speak to your doctor asap, hope your ok

 

[flowergirl]

No I didn't ever feel like this. Some women become over anxious/depressed as a symptom of being pregnant- hormones are to blame I presume. You will not be routinely or more importantly, regularly seen by any health care professional until you are almost at the end of your 2nd trimester so problems like this will not be picked up. You need to be proactive and get help. I think judging by what you have written, waiting to talk to someone who knows how to help you would not be good for your health or that of your baby.
Go to see your gp or a midwife. Talking about your fears openly will possibly help you to put them into perspective and getting some reasoned answers to your questions could help you. (They will certainly give you more consistent answers than the tarot cards!)

I'm really sorry you feel like this- things should improve as your body settles down but in the meantime

 

[Steelgoddess]

Pregnancy= Very irrational thoughts sometimes...

However I agree with that if these thoughts persist deffo get some help...

Id also like to add its highly unlikely anything would happen to you during birth as in this day and age things have come really far...

x

 

[mabelina]

Thanks everyone for all your replies. I have always been a worrier but at the age of 21 started getting bad Panic Attacks and Anxiety, especially Health Anxiety. Im terrified of doctors and hospitals. I think ive always had this fear of child birth but when my good friends younger sister died after giving birth, i guess it really tipped the scales.
I dont even know who my midwife is yet, my doctor told me she would contact me in four weeks time.
As for the (angel) cards, i did have a good reading, they said the angels were around me to heal my body and emotions and im to take up light yoga

 

[Naterjack]

Oh Mabelina - i could have written this post myself Have a cuddle

I have panic attacks regularly about different things and every 6 months or so i get extremely depressed about death, the whys and what happens, etc. I hate the thought of not having my memories with me. My fear is so bad that i have stopped flying, stopped owning horses, etc etc - i know i prob need to speak to someone but i know i've gotta get through this.

Anyway, i told my mum before i became pregnant that this was one thing that put me off having children and she said i really needed to talk to someone about it - i never did but became pregnant a month after trying and whilst i have had the horrid thought that i'm going to die and then i worry about leaving my hubby behind with a nursery full of stuff to deal with, but i just have to keep telling myself that my life is much more dangerous than just giving birth.

I've always ridden horses, the most dangerous regular hobby
I drive round the country for work (yes even at 28 weeks gone)
You are MUCH more likely to die in a car accident / crossing street / etc etc than giving birth.

However i would never want a homebirth - i want to be in the best place possible if anything happens and i figure that hospital is that place. And now, yes i think about it, but then i feel bubba move inside of me and just concentrate my thoughts on meeting him.

If my time to go is while giving birth then thats what will happen, just like if i am meant to go when driving down the M6, or when walking down the road - there's not a lot i can do about it so ive got to just get on with my pregnancy and life to the max

 

[Strangeness]

I must admit I had this feeling in the last few weeks leading up to the birth of my second. Mine was for different reasons though because I was terrified of rupture from previous c section as I was going for VBAC, I was petrified of leaving my son behind. I look back now and feel really silly but it really worried me! Speak to your GP or midwife hun and I hope you feel better soon! The chances of it happening are seriously slim, I've not know anyone to die during childbirth and I know tons of people who have had babies and there are hundreds of births on this board!

 

[Steelgoddess]

Thanks everyone for all your replies. I have always been a worrier but at the age of 21 started getting bad Panic Attacks and Anxiety, especially Health Anxiety. Im terrified of doctors and hospitals. I think ive always had this fear of child birth but when my good friends younger sister died after giving birth, i guess it really tipped the scales.
I dont even know who my midwife is yet, my doctor told me she would contact me in four weeks time.
As for the (angel) cards, i did have a good reading, they said the angels were around me to heal my body and emotions and im to take up light yoga

Have you thought about having a homebirth??

 

[Eveadel]

Hi

I never was terrified I was going to die but terrified I was going to have a panic attack whilst in labour. This was a contibutory factor that spoilt my pregnancy, in the end my consultant agreed to a c section. In the end I ending up giving birth naturally. I practiced hypnotherapy during my pregnancy and reflexology and I gave birth NATURALLY and for me it was such a relaxed time. I put off having children for 7 years because I was so terrified of labour. Im hoping I get my BFP for baby no 2 very soon

 

[kerryp]

If youre terrified of drs & hospitals have you thought about homebirth or birthing centre (if there is one close as they are run by midwives). Im "planning" on a homebirth as i work at the hospital & OH doesnt like them. If your pregnancy progresses normally there is no reason why you couldnt choose one of these & that way you will have less chance of a dr intervening...
As for the worries, definately speak to the midwives, they will put your mind at rest & make sure youre ok. Sod the "they will get in contact with you", phone the drs & ask to make an appointment with THEM who says you cant be proactive?!
Dont concentrate on what happened to someone else either... we are all different. Concentrate on you & yours

 

[dannii87]

Oh hun you poor love! I didn't have this, but I did think I was dying while I was IN labour... I think it was the exhaustion & a wave of insanity that came over me! I just thought I was dying... You won't die though hun, just have an epidural and you'll be juuuust fine xxx

 

[BabyMagic]

I bet it's the pregnancy hormones, and don't worry you'll be just fine. Even if you are afraid of doctors make sure that you have your routine check ups so that if there are any issues they can be identified and dealth with in a timely manner.

Tbh, I have thought lately that what would happen to LO if I wasn't here (if I had an accident etc), but this has mainly been a worry for her. I never had these thoughts when I was pregnant. But in the same way I sometimes wonder if I wasn't able to breastfeed anymore. I think becoming a mum and being a mum is breeding ground for worries.

Take a deep breath and speak to someone. Maybe there are some underlying issues???

 

[kaytie89]

Hey hun,

I'm also pregnant with my first child but I haven't had these thoughts. I agree with the other girls that you should put those tarot cards away & speak to your midwife. Dont worry i'm sure everything is going to be fine just stay positive! its normal to be a little scared of child birth at first but dont worry about it, am sure it will all run smoothly.. I hope you start to feel better soon. Take care xx

 

[trixipaws]

no i didnt have thoughts like that- except just after i saw Pan's Labyrinth at the cinema when i was 4 months pregnant (btw, DONT WATCH IT!!!!) its most likely ur hormones and fear of the unknown taking over. DEFINATELY talk to someone, if u just leave it then this fear of unknown might spiral and that wont do u any good. u dont need the stress and nor does ur baby. there's nothing to worry about, if the birth doesnt go smoothly then things will be taken care of my the MWs/docs, u will be fine

 

[DebbieM]

I remember when my sister got pg with her first baby, I was excited but my first thought was actually that she would die in childbirth. How ridiculous! It's soooooooooooooooooooo not gonna happen!!

I think your fears right now are normal. You have a million things running through your head when you firstget pg, it's a huge thing to go through but you will be fine.. honest!!!!! xxxxxxx