My situation's been a little odd as DSs dad and I are no longer together, but until recently had very shared custody, so for me to do any kind of routine/discipline was promptly back to square one within a couple days. Now I'm off work and have DS 95% of the time, we've come on leaps and bounds.
DS is 2y 3m, and I'm 27w with DD.
I try to give him everything in positives, so instead of saying he can't do something, I tell him something he could do instead. Rather than "don't hit mummy's tummy", it's "we need to be gentle with mummy's tummy". If the thing happens again, he gets both. "No, do not hit mummy. We talked about this, be gentle". If it happens again, "No. We talked about this, you need to be gentle. This is your warning". If it happens again "alright, naughty corner". (Take to naughty corner, stand him with his back to the corner and crouch to his eye level). "I asked you not to hit mummy and you continued to do so. Now you will sit in the naughty corner for two minutes until it come and get you. Sit down". (Turn him round and sit him facing into the corner). He can turn around, and he can move one bum-shuffle over. Any more than that, and I put him back and restart his time. First time I have to put him back "you have been bad and need to sit in the naughty corner. Two minutes". Any time after that, he doesn't get spoken to, just put back. Once he's done two minutes, I go over, tell him to stand up and look at me. "Mummy put you in the naughty corner because you hit her. You need to be gentle. Do you understand?", "are you going to say sorry", "can I have a hug". Then he comes back out and we carry on whatever as if it never happened. Any further incident of the same thing in the same day is automatic warning "do you want to go back in the naughty corner? This is your warning. Be gentle". Then repeat naughty corner all over again.
I'm extremely lucky with DS in that he responds really well to positive reinforcement, and before yesterday I could count on one hand the amount of times we got to naughty corner stage. Usually by second stage he's got it nailed.
Yesterday though, saw the start of throwing. Cars, blocks, toys in general, DVDs, the whole lot had a chance to soar. Five seperate occasions, he was in the corner yesterday.
He's very good with the corner, only came out the first two times I put him in it, and that was more learning curve. He was in twice in one day for the same thing once, and that's it. Yesterday was a whole new story.
Even then, he was good once in the corner, and even his throwing stuff; it wasn't temper-throw, it was just fun-throw. I just want to stop the habit before something gets broken.
I'll see how he is on that when I get him back this afternoon.
With eating... He's always been a good eater. Meal times are the same every day. Breakfast at 8:30 (cereal or toast), snack at 10 (two breadsticks), lunch at 12 (sandwich and small bag of crisps) snack at 2 (fruit of varying variety) and dinner at 4:30 (cooked meal) and a dessert (usually a teeny cupcake although on occasion it'll be ice cream).
He knows damn well that his snacks can be eaten on the sofa if he sits good, and his three meals are always at the table with appropriate cutlery and a bib. Any food that needs cut I do in the kitchen before bringing his plate through (we're currently practicing using a knife and fork with a banana at snack time, or soft veg at dinner time), and he knows he sits and eats. We always eat together, both sat at the table, with similar meals (different cereals, different sandwiches, same main meal cause I ain't cooking two seperate ones). Right from early on, he was taught to use his fork. If he tried to use his hands he would get "use your fork", then "no hands, use your fork". Third hand incident would result in his plate being taken away for 30 seconds. I never had to go beyond that.
At the end of every meal, I would push my plate to one side and say "mummy finished". When DS would first copy me (with food still on his plate) I'd say "is DS finished? No more?" And pick his plate up as if to go to the kitchen. If he squawked, I'd give it back and he'd continue eating. He's learned now that pushing his plate away means it disappears, so he keeps it in front of him until he's done. He mostly eats what he's given. Every now and then he'll push a half-full plate away, and after the "are you finished" etc, he'll take his plate back, pick up his for and just kinda, mess with the food. Then I'll ask again if he's done, and he'll push his plate away again. Then I know he's just not interested in eating it and take it away. I still offer him dessert (the cupcakes we have are about the size of a £2 coin, he can eat them in two bites), because I personally know sometimes I just get full of a particular thing, and I don't want to teach him he has to stuff himself to "earn" dessert.
I always eat with him (so he's not "missing out on something by being stuck at the table", I don't get up from the table before he's done (again, missing out, and I also don't want him to be half way through and be all "oh, food's done" and stop eating even if he isn't finished), we don't have TV or anything through dinner, we sit and talk (he doesn't really talk at all yet but I like that bit of "family" time), I don't force him to eat anything; I give him the option and if he flat out doesn't want it that's fair enough, I don't punish him or get angry at him for not eating; I just take his food away after re-offering and he can wait until next food-time (some days we just aren't hungry).
Meals were kinda my "thing". I guess working in the restaurant industry made me determined that I would not have a messy food child.
Now, if he does get anything on his hands/fingers, he immediately wants wiped. If he drops something off his fork onto the table, he picks it up with his fingers, puts it back on his plate, and goes again with the fork (after wiping his fingers of course). If he drops something on the floor (rare but the odd thing sometimes sneaks through), he shouts at it then looks a at me all pissed that it dared escape until I pick it up and put it in a wipe ready for the bin.
I genuinely enjoy mealtimes with him, because although he doesn't really talk yet, we certainly communicate a lot and have a good time, and it's just fun.
Just a note back on the naughty corner; he knows I will find a naughty corner anywhere at any time. I've stopped the car once and got him out of his car seat and sat him in the footwell, I've "made" a corner out of stones on a path.
I truly think the key is flat-out ignoring any mis-use of the naughty corner. Put them back the first time and tell them again why they're there, then each time after that, just put them back. No talk, no eye contact, essentially no more thought to it than putting the hoover or the ironing board back. Let them scream, let them bang... Just feign indifference. Even if it takes an hour or more. I know for me when I was little the WORST punishment was my dad just outright ignoring me.
I think I've rambled enough now. Hopefully there's something in there that helps someone... Xx
then screamed the place down in Asda because he scratched me and I told him off 
Maybe as the day wears on all of us are victims of having less patience.
