Terrible 2's?

[Jade89]

Sorry I will actually tell you what's up now...

Aaliyah keeps biting, pinching, smacking, scratching, kicking etc...Not just me and her dad but other children too...I don't know what to do with her, I feel like I can't cope anymore and i'm actually crying while typing this I just don't know what to do, ive tried ignoring it like the health visitor has told me to do to the point where she's sat screaming at me whilst smacking me for a good minute...for no reason! That happened last night and I ended up leaving the room and going to bed to leave OH sort her out, I couldn't handle it without completely losing it and that was at 7:30...I never go bed at 7:30 and now me and OH started arguing over something today and he said ''WELL IF YOU DIDDNT STORM OFF TO BED AT 7:30...'' What would he have have done in my shoes? it's ok for him to p*** off work all day!

I just feel totally like crap, ive tried ignoring her, tried grabbing her arms firmly to restrain her and telling her no firmly like another HV told me, i'm even ashamed to say ive done it back because people have told me to and she laughed and thought I was playing It's making me want to stop TTC, making me and OH argue etc...

I feel like I am getting nowhere at all! What do I do to stop this horrible behavior? I thought you were supposed to enjoy being a Mum...? I just feel like crap!

 

[keli]

Sorry no advice but you sound like you need a so xxxx

 

[Jade89]

Thanx alot

I'm going have go back to the HV it's getting wayyyy out of hand, I don't want her to be nasty and known as a bully

 

[leckershell]

I think Ryan's started early - can you get terrible 2's at 1 and a bit?

He does the hitting and biting thing but only with me, not other kids, so I can sort of tolerate it. It's annoying though as I know he understands no but he still thinks it's funny. If I tell him not to he either has a tamtrum and lies face down on the floor kicking his feet, or laughs and keeps doing it.

Argh!!

 

[Rachel]

Nathan can be like this and times aswell.

He has just started hitting me and screaming at me for no reason at all. He dosen't do it to other kids though thankfully.

I just say NO and he then goes off and throws himself on the floor in a tantrum screaming. He sometimes kicks aswell.

I try and ignore it if I can and not give him the attention if he's having a tantrum. When he's good though I really praise him and tell him he's good etc so hopefully he will learn that it's better to be good.

If he really carries on though I tell him he's going in his cot if he carries on (don't know if yours is still in a cot though) and if he does carry on then I do put him in his cot and leave the room until he's calmed down (usually 5/10mins) then go back in and he is usually much better after doing that.

I don't really know what else to suggest sorry but want to give you some

 

[fran_23]

I know exactly how hard it can be Hayden has strops when he is tired when he doesnt get his own way and when he wants something he knows he can't have, he repeats that he wants it over and over, he has kicked at me but generally just repeats things and lies there screaming what i do is if we are in the house i ignore him but if he starts getting physical with me i put him in his bed and close the door...then go in the living room and make sure i am calm..he generally snaps out of it within 5-10 mins or just falls asleep if it because he is tired! I know its hard i find myself really trying not to shout at him sometimes but then i look at the little size of him and remember he is just a toddler finding his feet discovering right from wrong and i need to show him that and not by screaming or losing it..so i calmly remove him from the room and tell him i will be back when he has calmed down. Its just a phase..hard but she will grow out of it!

 

[Jaidy]

Hi Jadey, Jadey here!

I know Zachary is a few months younger than Aaliyah but I know exactly where you are coming from. Zachary doesnt so much punch and kick, but he grabs peoples noses!!!!!!! Especially other children, and also pinches and pulls my hair. I know it sounds weird but I think its definately a phase and trying different ways to express themselves! It really gets me down when he does it to other kids though...although this isnt too often.

When he shows agressive behaviour I firmly tell him that he is being naughty, and that if he does it again I will put him on the 'step' (which is the step at the bottom of the stairs!) I dont think he has grasped the whole warning thing yet, so he gets put on the stairs more often than not!!!! This seems to calm him down.

I know how stressful it can be though....and embarassing!!!!

 

[MissThing]

Hi Jadey, Jadey here!

IWhen he shows agressive behaviour I firmly tell him that he is being naughty, and that if he does it again I will put him on the 'step' (which is the step at the bottom of the stairs!) I dont think he has grasped the whole warning thing yet, so he gets put on the stairs more often than not!!!! This seems to calm him down.

I know how stressful it can be though....and embarassing!!!!

That is what Supernanny woman reccomends. I watched a few programms and def will be following her advice when the time comes. Maybe will be worth watching it?
She also tells to put on a "naughty" step for as long as you child is old (like for a 2 year old it would be 2 minutes).

PS: As I said, I havent tried it yet, cos Daniel is a bit too young. But he already started that smacking thing. Tell us how you go

 

[Jade89]

Thanx for your replies everyone...Hi Jadey

Today she has pinched me loads. She just walks over to me looking at me then pinches my arm or leg with an evil look on her face and I just think ''why why why????''

I'll have to try the step or something (thats something ive never done before)...but i'm definitly telling my HV about it wednesday, I could probably handle it better if it wasnt for her doing it to other kids but I think I have to stop her now because she will think its ok! it's not fair on other kids to be bullied by her just because they have stepped too close to her personal space! (She doesn't like to me touched or crowded she gets really agressive when this happens, think it's because she was so crowded in my womb that she just loves the space now lol)

Kids with issues eh!

 

[mummykay]

gotta love the tantrums

Jams are pretty gd, he had the whole headbuttin thing aawhile ago and now we are on to filthy looks and 'NO' - he hates hates hates me ignorin him tho so if I jus get on with doin somethin else after takin whatever it is he wants but isnt allowed then he soon realises bein a brat wont get him what he wants

 

[krissie23]

Hi Jade

I have tried the 'naughty step' and I find it does actually work! Amber doesn't really hit/bite/scratch, etc., but when she doesn't get her own way, she does throw major tantrums! Usually they involve her throwing herself on the floor and screaming, or following me around repeating the same thing over and over again when I've told her no!

When she starts, I pick her up and put her on the bottom step of the stairs and tell her to stay there til she's calmed down. She has actually never got off the step, she usually sits there for a few minutes screaming her head off, but doesn't get up. When she's calmed down I go and talk to her and tell what she's done wrong and why she had to sit on the step, and say to her if she does that particular thing again, she will be going backl on the step. It's really starting to get through to her now, and when I see her about to go into a tantrum I warn her that if she continues then she'll be sitting on the step. She knows she'll be completely ignored when she's on there which she hates, so it makes her think twice before throwing a major strop!

You could try doing that, it takes a while to notice an improvement in their behaviour and I think you have to be really consistent with it! Hopefully your HV will have some ideas

 

[Jade89]

Thanks, I have already tried just ignoring but it makes her tantrums worse and smacks harder!

I do feel I am going to try the naughty step after I have spoken to HV...does it seem like the childs always on there though? I don't want it to end up like that, I know id never stick to it if it seemed like they were on it about 100 times a day (exagurating)sp? but i'd feel so mean

 

[krissie23]

I felt really mean doing it at first, but once it started to work I didn't feel so bad!

When I started putting her on there, it was usually a couple of times a day, but she doesn't go on there much now as she knows the minute she starts going into a tantrum and screaming, I'll put her on there and she hates it. So I warn her and tell her to calm down otherwise she'll be on the step and it is actually starting to work!