Telling family/ friends

[Pondlife]

Hello everyone,

I am new here. So I have just found out I am pregnant (4 weeks) and as I am sure is normal I am sooo desperate to tell everyone. Obviously I won't and I know that it is advised to wait 3 months, but did people here share with their nearest and dearest sooner than 3 months?
I can't bear not telling my family and best friend. Would I be stupid to share the news so early?

Thank you

Gemma

 

[Ash_b]

I told my best friend before I had left the bathroom, and our parents the next day. Do what feels right for you. We decided to tell those who would support us if something went wrong. We are planning to tell more people after our first scan (private) at 8 weeks.

 

[MissKW]

Congratulations!!
Tell people as soon as you like. With my first pregnancy I kept it secret from family as I wanted to surprise them at Xmas as it would be their first grandchild. However I misscarried at 12weeks due to blighted ovum and then had to tell them what happened as I was ill, upset and needed support as well as physical help going through it naturally etc.
When I fell pregnant this time I told everybody right away, friends and family knew at 4 weeks and it was much nicer being able to share the journey. I personally don't see the point in hiding it just incase something goes wrong, if it did its very helpful to talk about it rather than to carry on hiding it or have to break bad news to people like I did. Plus if you don't talk about it people think it's rare, uncommon and feel they are alone when it happens to them which makes it harder to deal with, when in fact its a sad but common thing and it's nice having people know so they can share their experiences, share advice and give mental support. But if all goes smoothly as it does most of the time, even better, people can share your joy from the get go!
My family were devistated that I didn't tell them from the start the first time.
Anyway, second pregnancy went perfectly and I have an amazing 5 month old son now
If you want to tell people, just do it! The first trimester is the hardest, I wish I told my boss much earlier than I did for that reason lol

 

[eager_reader]

Congratulations!
Yes, I agree - you should definitely do what feels right for you.

 

[MoominGirl]

First of all congratulations!!

I think you need to do what you feel comfortable with. We were trying for a long time so were very surprised when we actually caught so personally for me I never felt like I wanted to shout from the rooftops but I think that was mainly the disbelief and I do think I'd have felt differently if we'd caught more easily.

I know you don't want to think like this but as MissKW says, your nearest and dearest are the ones you will look to for support if something was to go wrong so there's no reason why they shouldn't share your journey from the beginning if that's what you feel you want to do.

Also think about what you do as a job. There is a lot of protection for pregnant women in the workplace and of course that only comes into play if you tell them. My job needs a lot of adjustment in pregnancy so my manager and a few good colleagues knew from the very start. I had much more support that way and I don't think a single person spilled the beans until I was ready.

 

[WinterWolf]

I told my mum two days after bfp (only because I wanted to wait to tell her in person), and my best friend maybe a week after. My rule was only tell people who I'd want to tell if something went wrong. I told hubby's parents after our 7 week scan and the general public at 13 weeks. Had to tell work at 8 weeks as I was too sick. Do what you want and stuff tradition x

 

[IVW]

Its totally up to you when you share the news.

We have ended up telling alot of immediate family, more so because its slightly obvious when half your family is Geordie and you arent drinking certain situations can make it quite obvious, but everyone is different.

 

[Rainingflowers]

I'm onto my 4th pregnancy within 13 months now ( other 3 have ended in miscarriage) and everytime I have told family and friends straight away.
I honestly don't know what I would of done without there support. It's down to personal opinion but I would never not tell people. To me whether it ends good or bad my close family and friends are going to find out any way!
That being said, because of what I've been though previously I will not be announcing my pregnancy on social media, even when I reach 12 or 20 week scan. It's made me realise how much can go wrong and until I've actually got my baby in my arms I won't be announcing anything to the world!!

 

[Vintageling]

I will be telling my parents and oh mum as soon as we find out and my close friends but will wait to tell everyone else

 

[MoominGirl]

I'm onto my 4th pregnancy within 13 months now ( other 3 have ended in miscarriage) and everytime I have told family and friends straight away.
I honestly don't know what I would of done without there support. It's down to personal opinion but I would never not tell people. To me whether it ends good or bad my close family and friends are going to find out any way!
That being said, because of what I've been though previously I will not be announcing my pregnancy on social media, even when I reach 12 or 20 week scan. It's made me realise how much can go wrong and until I've actually got my baby in my arms I won't be announcing anything to the world!!

I absolutely know what you mean. When we found out, I'd have happily told no one until I knew baby was here!! I think your outlook changes when you struggle for whatever reason. I know in certain situations I'd have felt differently if I'd caught easily.

Obviously I couldn't hide forever and I did find a way to get a balance and I was really well supported so if we're lucky enough to do this a second time, I would definitely be more relaxed about telling people.

 

[Pondlife]

Thank you for all your advice. I totally agree that telling people means you can celebrate properly and also that you have support if needs be. I really appreciate all your replies and i opted to tell family and my best friend. Having a scare at the moment but if all goes well will def tell boss next week x

 

[Vintageling]

Hope everything's ok hunxxxx