teen mum to be

[mummy2b19]

I am due to give birth just before my 20th birthday and people are treating me like I should be on Jeremy Kyle or something. I'm in a loving relationship with the father of my baby we live together in a house NOT provided by the council and have done for just over a year, we both work hard and neither of us gave ever been on benifits, i still get comments off people i thought were friends about how stupid i am to have kept this baby, i know several people who have been pregnant more than once and had the baby aborted but although the pregnacy wasn't planned abortion didn't even cross my mind, i love my un born baby and i know things are not going to be easy but then again when has being a parent ever been easy? Are there any other teen mums that feel the same as me, I'm almost hoping to be a few days late so i can't be labelled with this stereotype, sorry about the long thread and bad spelling IV typed this on my phone xx

 

[Bee7]

Good for you! You sound very mature and like you have your head screwed on. I'm a little older than you (25) but i still get judgemental remarks from people. Don't listen to anyone, you sound like you're doing really well for yourself. Some people will always want to criticise your life choices - usually because of their own insecurities. I've had all sorts of comments ranging from disapproval that me and my bf aren't married, to friends acting as though i've wasted my life. But ultimately you, your boyfriend and your baby are the only ones who matter. Dont' let other people bring you down xxx

 

[BabyBrain]

Don't take any notice. I have several friends who were mums before their 17th birthday, one is 1 week behind me with her 7th baby (they are loaded so no benefits and stuff but she still gets treated like crap by strangers) and they are all amazing mummy's. It took me 10 years to fall pregnant and it upsets me that by the time he's 18 I'm going to be 52 .

Being parents isn't easy at any age, but when we choose to do it is down to us an everyone else can get stuffed

Congratulations hunny xxxxxxxxxx

 

[nikki8092]

I know plenty of young mums and if you think back to when our parents were that age and grandparents alot were married with children before 20. You are bringing your child into a loving relationship and home and anyone that judges you for being a young mum obviously either doesnt know you very well or isnt worth worrying over xx

 

[pringle88]

I get funny looks and comments and I've just turned 23! Don't let peoples ignorance bother you, you sound perfectly capable of being a good mum. Good luck hun xx

 

[Lilelephant]

Don't worry about what other ppl think. U sound more than ready to be a mummy!

 

[misscrazycooki]

I got it all when I announced I was pregnant again after having my son at 8 months. I think they just want to prie as they have life of their own x Just enjoy being pregnant and when you have your baby they well be first ones to say how cute and lovely he or she will be x

 

[mummy2b19]

Thanks ladies its nice to hear that I'm not the only one didn't help that I work in a christian hotel and I get comments off all the guests, learnt to laugh it off now though xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

Hi OP,

Congrats on your pregnancy.

My sister was 19 when she had her first baby. She had been with her BF for just over a year.

4 years later they now have their own place together [privately rented], she has retrained as a childminder and her 2nd baby is six months old.

I hope if I am ever blessed with a baby I do half as well as my sister has

Don't get me wrong it was a struggle - they lived with her BF's Mum for ages after the first baby etc.. but it was well worth it. My two little nephews are wonderful, happy boys and a pleasure to be around.

xxxxxxxx

 

[So_hopeful81]

Take no notice of anyone!
People always think they have a right to judge others lives and decisions. I have known older people than you (my age 30 or older!) who have got pregnant for the wrong reasons! Age is irrelevant when having children is concerned. All that matters is that you provide love and care for your child. If you can do these things, you are doing the right thing.

Friends who comment on your situation and then talk about how you are stupid for not aborting, are the stupid ones! Trust me!!! Xxxx

 

[1986princess]

congrats on your pregnancy and u sound ready for a baby so ignore peoples negative remarks xx

 

[Hunnie]

I'm a teen mum to be as well *high five* and I will be just 19 once baby is here.

From the start of my pregnancy I tried to cover it up. I wouldn't show off the bump in public places where I might see people I know such as in asda and at college etc. I was scared that people would instantly judge me and try to interfere with mine and my OHs life.

Only at 25 weeks did I actually do a mini announcement. I finally got rid of my fear and and decided to show how proud I am of my decision in life and how much I can't wait to be a mummy!
I havent actually heard any of the rumours or nasty tales yet but I'm sure they will get back to me at some point.

I decided that I'm not actually bothered what people have to say as there isn't anything they actually can say that would be hurtful! My OH works so unbelievably hard which means that we have been able to buy our first house together without any help from anyone else, have nice cars and have a wonderful lifestyle without claiming any benefits. I am doing more with my life right now at such a young age than most of them can ever expect to do until they are at least in their late 20s. Ive most likely been labelled as irresponsible by a lot of people I went to school with but that is how I feel they are behaving when they go out and drink away their student loans. It's just a case of each to their own.


(I haven't an issue with people claiming benefits by the way, its just how it seems to fit in with the hurtful teen mum stereotype that I most likely have also been falsely labelled with)

The only thing people can comment is the fact that me and OH have only been together just over a year and although we were planning on waiting, LO just came sooner than what we expected. We have pretty much been in love since the moment we met and although he annoys me at times, I couldn't see myself happier with anyone else other than him !

 

[ChloeNat]

People who say hurtful things need to keep their tongue to themselves! It's your choice and your obviously going to be a brilliant mum! I'm 20 and my mum and sister know I'm trying to conceive. My sister loves the idea but my mum isn't too happy about it! But I've been with my OH 4 years and we have lived together for 2 and a bit years and are so ready for our LO to come along! It really isn't any one elses choice but ours! Back in the day it wouldn't be unheard of to be married and have a baby by 19! My mum was married at 17 with 1 and 1 on the way!

 

[hellywelly]

I know crap mums of 45 and great mums aged 16. You will be the kind of mum you want to be and by the sounds of what you have written a very good one. It's nobody else's business but yours!!! Go for it and ignore the doubters - some people are just always trying to bring others down. xxx

 

[TundraOwl]

Aww hun, hugs, I'm 22 and got alot of hassle from my college friends when I left last year to move up here when I got engaged. I'm now married with a baby on the way and some of my "friends" won't speak to me any more. They just don't understand, or want to understand. If you feel ready and mature enough then there is nothing wrong with having your babies young! Your at your optimum baby producing time when your young so just ignore them, theyre just jealous that your life is going some where and theyre probably still wasting theyre money going out on the razz every week and stuck in college or uni the rest of the time. (No offence to anyone on here that also does that! You know what I mean! )
Hope your ok and congrats on your bump
Lib xxx

 

[TiffanyJaynexo]

You sound like you can speak your own mind hun.
I'm 20 years old, found out I was pregnant when I was 19 and I'll be 21 in May.
My OH is 20 and will be 21 in March. We've been together for 2 years and we're totally in love. He works and I did for a little during early pregnancy but I've been on benefits for a while now.

I think all teenage mum's get stereotyped.
I myself have been told I need to grow up even though I don't drink, do drugs, go out clubbing etc. Things you see a lot of other teenagers do! I actually know a lot of disgusting adults who need to act their age, so for them to moan about me is a little ironic.

Ignore these silly remarks hun, we're all individuals, we should never be stereotyped or put into groups, we're all different. I know I'll take care of my daughter and I love her so much already, it will be hard of course, but motherhood is a challenge anyway! xxx

 

[reillybaby1987]

Well said Hunni, there are too many girls out there that just get pregnant for the sake of it and cannot handle having a baby, you sound like your better sorted than most people so do not take any notice of them how far along are you? xx

 

[mummy2b19]

I'm 24 weeks today yey big miles Stone, thanks for all your comments, although I new from the start that I was going to keep my baby and I love her so much already and so does her daddy we havnt really got a clue how to look after a baby we both really lucky than are families can't wait to help out and I'm sure we will learn at antinatle classes (sorry about the spelling) do its really lovely to hear that you all belive I can do it, thank you xxx

 

[MummyTo5]

Congratulations and fair play to you!!! *highfive* I had my first on my 20th birthday so I no how you feel I went on to have two more and now another by 26 I'll be a mother to 4 beautiful children and I couldn't be more proud the ones that matter will be there for you if you need them the ones who aren't or have disprespectful comments they are so not worth it!! Feel free to message me if you want to chat with someone who's been in the same position good luck and hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months xxx