Struggling

[leean10]

Hi, sorry I am on here again!!

I had my 4th mc about a week and a half ago and to date I am still struggling to deal with it. I can't keep my temper in check and I am trying but failing to keep it together.

My 3rd mc was in March and I fell pregnant again in May, could it be that they were so close together and so that is why I am having a hard time dealing with it all?

To top it off, I am having tests in London and I am not allowed to be pregnant or be on the pill when I go for my appointment and I am dying to have my own baby and now I am stuck waiting until August/September at the latest to do anything and I am finding that very hard to handle.

Sorry for going on, I can't talk to mum or sisters as they just tell me I am being silly and to pull myself together so my only other place to vent is on here.

Lee-Ann x

 

[SunnySue]

Sorry to hear what you have been through, it's understandable that you are feeling this way hun. You have been through so much, you need time to grieve so don't be too harsh on yourself.
Maybe having to wait a while until getting pregnant again is a blessing in disguise? I know you desperately want this but maybe putting some time in between will give you some space to come to terms with everything and make sure you are in a better place when you do fall pregnant?
Maybe it's worth seeing your GP to see if there is any local counselling they can refer you for?
Good luck with everything, I hope you feel better soon hun

 

[Princess81]

I totally agree with the above. I've miscarried once and that was hard enough to deal with so I don't know how you are coping with multiple losses
It's such a shame that your family aren't being supportive, you really need them at times like this xx

 

[leean10]

I had a health visitor come to see me yesterday and I am going to a support group tomorrow night but my sisters and my mum have never dealth with anything like this before so they don't know how I am feeling.

This latest pregnancy took me by surprise as I didn't realise I would fall so quickly after my one in March!!

I think waiting will be best for me and my body, so that it can recover a bit. I am so tired and feel like I have been kicked around a football pitch but I guess that is to be expected.

I just have to try and keep everything in check so that I don't explode and take things out on people around me.

Thanks for letting me rant x

 

[SunnySue]

Good luck for the support group tomorrow, it should be helpful to talk it through with other people that have been through similar things

 

[leean10]

It is actually quite helpful talking on here as I get a perspective of the amount of women that are in the same boat as me. Sometimes, you sit and think "why me, what did I do" and I keep being told it is nothing I have done and then I see other women's stories and I know I am not doing anything wrong, these things happen.

Thank you all for listening to me and let me vent off my frustration at being the only one in the family that is broken and doesn't work right

Lee-Ann x

 

[CARNAT22]

My family only knew about one miscarriage (my choice not to tell them) so OH and I dealt with our other losses alone.

It helped to have him to talk to but he didn't get the magnitude of it all. He just thought we were unlucky and as my losses were early I bounced back physically quite quickly which gave him the impression I was "better"

We were lucky that we have our 3rd loss in November and by 6th Jan I had my appoiontment.

We were NTNP, and avoided fertile times.

I only found the PF just before my 3rd loss and this place has been a Godsend!

I fell pregnant 2 cycles in a row and am convinced that played a part in it... I hadn't given my poor body time to recover between my 2nd and 3rd losses.

Maybe this self imposed ban isn't a bad thing Leean, it will give your body time to heal and rejuvinate.

I had a break and that is when I got my sticky bean hun, so fingers crossed that works for you

xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[leean10]

Thanks Carnat, I should be sensible and not put my body through the pressure of another pregnancy too soon.

I will lose my appointment if I do fall pregnant so I do have to be careful.

My OH said that it was good that it was early and I really could have hit him when he said that, I just don't think he gets what I am feeling right now and he doesn't understand why I get upset so easily x

 

[mishi]

Oh honey, of course you get upset easily it's an awful thing to happen, let alone happen multiple times! And I'm so sorry for your losses.

I hope you find the support group helpful, I think it's something I would have considered, but hubby has been brilliant and as affected as me about what happened to us, so in that respect I'm very lucky. We talk about it alot and he understands when I'm upset, angry or moody about it.

My Mum, although I love her dearly, has been no help - infact she barely mentioned it after a week and hasn't mentioned it since I went back to work (about 5 weeks later). I think it's hard for people who have never experienced a the loss of an unborn child to understand. There is nothing tangible for them to grieve iykwim? However it's not fair of them to tell you to get over it or to pull yourself together - or anynofmthose awful clichés that people use!

This is a different type of grief, and you must give yourself time to heal, physically and emotionally. And you know what? It's ok to be angry, it really is. It's ok to cry and to shout or to do anything that brings you a bit of release for your feelings. It's a natural response to what you've been through.

Look upon your enforced wait as some healing time for you and I really hope your appointment gives you some answers honey xxxxx

 

[leean10]

Thanks so much Mishi!!

I just didn't know if I was being totally stupid for reacting angrily to things or for crying over silly things etc. I guess I still have a lot of hormones raging through my body too so that doesn't help!!

One of my sisters has had 2 abortions after her daughter was born 14 years ago, she was just 16 at the time and I get so angry x