Struggling to cope with poorly toddler!

[kirlou92]

I feel like such a bad mummy for posting this. Been going through quite a bit recently, got keys to our 2nd family home 4 weeks ago after a stressful and lengthy exchange but only just moved in a few days ago as it wasn't safe or liveable when we got it. Been living back with my parents in that time which I've hated
Found out I was pregnant again while all the packing was going on so I've been tired as you can imagine.
After moving into mums we all caught a flu virus and we've all been wiped out with it. I'm almost better now and DH too. But my poor DD who is 16 months is still struggling. Hasn't eaten more than a few crumbs for 6 days now and the cough she has keeps making her vomit. She isn't drinking enough in my opinion either! Docs have prescribed antibiotics as a precaution which is a nightmare, she screams every time we have to give her some so it's turned into force feeding it to her which I hate myself for but if it helps then I guess its worth it?

I should be looking after her and feeling concerned for her but instead I find myself wishing someone else was dealing with it and feeling overwhelmed that I can't cope. The house we are in isn't 100% safe yet so my DD can only be in the living room or in her cot so I also feel confined. I'm still looking after her but I feel like I'm on the verge of a melt down... am I completely selfish? I don't suffer with depression but I feel myself heading that way and I worry about my unborn bean too

Sorry to rant like this but does anyone have any words of wisdom or have been through stressful situations while pregnant or with young children? Just feel so alone and pathetic! I know that things will get better but I can't see past my own mind fog at the moment

 

[candymycandy]

Oh lovely what a super stressful time. Everything you’re feeling is totally normal especially while pg and you are not being selfish. We aren’t superhero’s and can’t be ‘on’ all the time particularly when life gets tough.

Is there any family nearby that can help? I had a close bereavement last year whilst pregnant and my lb was 2 (just turned 3). It was absolutely horrendous and you can’t see the other side at times but the best you can do is take one day at a time. And also most importantly is take Care of yourself (eg try and get some family help in), you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you feel like you’re struggling mentally then have a chat with your GP/MW if you’re up to it. Firstly make sure you’re talking to your partner about how you feel.

Give yourself a pat on the back, it’s not easy and you’re doing really well x

 

[BunnyN]

Having had three children with small gaps between I totally feel for you. There will be good days and bad days. Do your best and don't be too hard on yourself. Try and get a bit of help. A little makes a big difference. We pay a relation to do a bit of general cleaning a couple of times a week. Speek to oh about how you feel. An hours nap while he looks after DD and makes dinner or orders dinner and cleans the kitchen might be enough to transform how you are feeling for the day at least. Pregnancy with a toddler is hard. Lying on the floor in the living room and playing with DD worked quite well for me. Ultimately she probably won't get the same attention as you would like some days but she will survive and she will be getting a sibling which is a great gift. Hugs

 

[EllieH]

Oh please don’t feel like a bad mummy being a mum is hard, being pregnant is hard, moving house is hard, looking after a poorly little one is hard and that’s on their own, you’re doing all 4 together, never mind the daily stuff you have to do (which can can sometimes be hard in itself).

It’s definitely worth giving LO the medicine, maybe try and wave chocolate in her face and quickly shoot the medicine in then give her the chocolate, Got to be brave and bold when giving medicine (feels nasty, but really you’re doing good). Get some yoghurt down her? Always a favourite, does she like her bottles too, give her as many as she will have. (Sorry if you’re thinking ‘you don’t think I’ve thought of that?’ )

I agree with others, talk to OH about him looking after LO, taking her to the park, his parents, shopping, anything to give you some ‘you time’.

Glad you’ve come here and let off some steam. Hope you’re feeling better soon x

 

[kirlou92]

Thank you all for such lovely comments, it definitely helped me feel less alone in that moment. My little one is a little better now and i went out for a few hours yesterday just me and her and went shopping. I came back and felt lifted slightly, feel a bit better today too. Have been speaking to my DH about it all too which has helped. I'm going to book a docs appt tomorrow just to talk about how I've been feeling and I'm going back to work this week (not been in for 3 weeks). I think getting back into a normal routine will help too. Thanks for the listening ear xx