Still feeling tearful...Is it something more....?

[Beatlesfan]

Hi All

I posted earlier http://www.pregnancyforum.co.uk/forum/v ... highlight= about feeling in a bad mood and tearful today. I have just got back from brother's and still feel like I could burst into tears I am finding it hard to hold back.

OH is getting both worried and suspicious (that he has done something wrong).. I suffered really bad with my hormones b4 pregnancy and wondering if this is something more sinister than just lack of sleep....
I am cutting doen on BFing only feeding LO at night so is it hormonal fluctuations?

Any one been in similar position? Can you offer an words of wisdom?
Thanks.

 

[Beatlesfan]

Well I feel a little better today. I had better sleep last night and have been busy socialising out with LO today.
I read on internet that it is usual to get a bit moody/teary when giving up/stopping BFing. was curious to know if anyone else felt the same.

Oh doing night shift tonight. can't wait for

 

[Moomum]

How are you feeling today chick? Better for a good nights sleep?

 

[Beatlesfan]

Hi Moomum
Thanks for your reply... I do feel a bit better..well prob much better TBH. I went to my baby group today and we discussed getting the balance right in life as a mum and that helped. Also spoke to OH tonight and we said how each were feeling. Everything I said came out the wrong way tho, so it seemed and OH took offence at some things...
Anyway, we have decided to:

1. Try and establish more of a routine for LO, HV says around this age a routine should be emerging, and this is true to a certain extent, she said we have to now take control of it, but allow for some flexibility sometimes. Sounds good to me!!
2. Plan some "me" time (for me!) and OH will look after LO
3. Make a list of what has to be done (daily, weekly, monthly basis) and share out.This was suggestion from group to try and maintain some level of feeling in control and also sharing the load.

At least it didn't turn into argument.

I ended up sleeping in with OH and LO last night altho OH got up for LO so got some sleep. I did feel better for it.

I will post again with some good news that I have for next week..... watch the forum!!!

 

[Beatlesfan]

Hi Moomum
Thanks for your reply... I do feel a bit better..well prob much better TBH. I went to my baby group today and we discussed getting the balance right in life as a mum and that helped. Also spoke to OH tonight and we said how each were feeling. Everything I said came out the wrong way tho, so it seemed and OH took offence at some things...
Anyway, we have decided to:

1. Try and establish more of a routine for LO, HV says around this age a routine should be emerging, and this is true to a certain extent, she said we have to now take control of it, but allow for some flexibility sometimes. Sounds good to me!!
2. Plan some "me" time (for me!) and OH will look after LO
3. Make a list of what has to be done (daily, weekly, monthly basis) and share out.This was suggestion from group to try and maintain some level of feeling in control and also sharing the load.

At least it didn't turn into argument.

I ended up sleeping in with OH and LO last night altho OH got up for LO so got some sleep. I did feel better for it.

I will post again with some good news that I have for next week..... watch the forum!!!

 

[valentine]

Hi honey,

That all sounds really positive - do you mind if I steal some of those ideas?

I am really glad you are feeling a bit better. I'm sure there are real hormonal fluctuations when you stop/cut down breastfeeding.

I find it difficult to talk to OH without him taking everything very personally even if I'm talking about my own cr*pness and failings. We are not great at communicating just now. He also always wants to fix things. I say "I'm tired", he says "go to bed earlier" - if only it was that simple! The evening is the only time I get to myself and I've always loads of cleaning, cooking and computer things to catch up on!

I'm really pleased you are getting some sleep too!

Valentine Xxx

 

[valentine]

Hi honey,

That all sounds really positive - do you mind if I steal some of those ideas?

I am really glad you are feeling a bit better. I'm sure there are real hormonal fluctuations when you stop/cut down breastfeeding.

I find it difficult to talk to OH without him taking everything very personally even if I'm talking about my own cr*pness and failings. We are not great at communicating just now. He also always wants to fix things. I say "I'm tired", he says "go to bed earlier" - if only it was that simple! The evening is the only time I get to myself and I've always loads of cleaning, cooking and computer things to catch up on!

I'm really pleased you are getting some sleep too!

Valentine Xxx

 

[Beatlesfan]

Hi honey,

That all sounds really positive - do you mind if I steal some of those ideas?

YES! Of course. Feel free! I shall let you know how our ideas pan out when we implement them....

I am really glad you are feeling a bit better. I'm sure there are real hormonal fluctuations when you stop/cut down breastfeeding.

Yes, HV said that today and I read that endorphins are produced when BFing so obviously the lack of those aren't going to help...also, it is a very emotional thing and I think I underestimated how emotional I would feel cutting down. Although I gave a lot of thought to my decision about cutting down and stopping, it is so emotive as a mother,providing for your baby, no one else can BF your baby. Well, they can and in some cultures they do but you know I mean OH can't and he is the other significant person in LO's life. HV also mentioned post-partum depression today... going to chekc this out, didn't really get what she briefly touched on.

I find it difficult to talk to OH without him taking everything very personally even if I'm talking about my own cr*pness and failings. We are not great at communicating just now. He also always wants to fix things. I say "I'm tired", he says "go to bed earlier" - if only it was that simple! The evening is the only time I get to myself and I've always loads of cleaning, cooking and computer things to catch up on!

I soooo know this feeling... it seems that men tend to want to FIX things when sometimes I know we are our own worst enemies, but we just want a moan, yeh we COULD got to bed earlier... but like you say that's the ""ME" time.... and sometimes we know what we have to do to change a situation, but we like a good moan and just for someone to listen and say "uh-huh" "mmmmm" and "I know what you mean" in the right places. And a cuppa made for us doesn't go amiss either!!!
OH and I have never been good at communicating, no matter how we try. We seem to both get defensive... think we are both v. sensitive and take it all personally. Both aquarians so both stubborn. tonight wasn't too bad at all so maybe we are making headway.

I hope if you implement some of those ideas that you get somewhere... sometimes I think relationships are very complex and it is so much more of a partnership these days (years ago roles were much more defined) and so it needs to be treated like a partnership even if it means doing things and discussing issues in a more formal manner. thank goodness we have forums where we can post and get support.

LO has been asleep now for 3 and half hours, it has given us some much needed space and time tonight to do our own things.... we are hoping she will sleep til midnight ish have a BIG feed and sleep til 6.30 am tomorrow.... I am sending those sleep vibes to her as I type so we'll see if they communicated with the melatonin in her brain and the vibes worked!!!! I'll let you know tomorrow if they worked....
for you Valentine, hope you feel less tired soon

 

[Beatlesfan]

Hi honey,

That all sounds really positive - do you mind if I steal some of those ideas?

YES! Of course. Feel free! I shall let you know how our ideas pan out when we implement them....

I am really glad you are feeling a bit better. I'm sure there are real hormonal fluctuations when you stop/cut down breastfeeding.

Yes, HV said that today and I read that endorphins are produced when BFing so obviously the lack of those aren't going to help...also, it is a very emotional thing and I think I underestimated how emotional I would feel cutting down. Although I gave a lot of thought to my decision about cutting down and stopping, it is so emotive as a mother,providing for your baby, no one else can BF your baby. Well, they can and in some cultures they do but you know I mean OH can't and he is the other significant person in LO's life. HV also mentioned post-partum depression today... going to chekc this out, didn't really get what she briefly touched on.

I find it difficult to talk to OH without him taking everything very personally even if I'm talking about my own cr*pness and failings. We are not great at communicating just now. He also always wants to fix things. I say "I'm tired", he says "go to bed earlier" - if only it was that simple! The evening is the only time I get to myself and I've always loads of cleaning, cooking and computer things to catch up on!

I soooo know this feeling... it seems that men tend to want to FIX things when sometimes I know we are our own worst enemies, but we just want a moan, yeh we COULD got to bed earlier... but like you say that's the ""ME" time.... and sometimes we know what we have to do to change a situation, but we like a good moan and just for someone to listen and say "uh-huh" "mmmmm" and "I know what you mean" in the right places. And a cuppa made for us doesn't go amiss either!!!
OH and I have never been good at communicating, no matter how we try. We seem to both get defensive... think we are both v. sensitive and take it all personally. Both aquarians so both stubborn. tonight wasn't too bad at all so maybe we are making headway.

I hope if you implement some of those ideas that you get somewhere... sometimes I think relationships are very complex and it is so much more of a partnership these days (years ago roles were much more defined) and so it needs to be treated like a partnership even if it means doing things and discussing issues in a more formal manner. thank goodness we have forums where we can post and get support.

LO has been asleep now for 3 and half hours, it has given us some much needed space and time tonight to do our own things.... we are hoping she will sleep til midnight ish have a BIG feed and sleep til 6.30 am tomorrow.... I am sending those sleep vibes to her as I type so we'll see if they communicated with the melatonin in her brain and the vibes worked!!!! I'll let you know tomorrow if they worked....
for you Valentine, hope you feel less tired soon

 

[valentine]

Thanks Bf! You won't believe this but I'm an Aquarian too! A very typical one at that!

Oh and re. the breastfeeding - just remember that regardless of how you feed you baby, no-one no-one can ever replace her Mummy - you are very very special.

There's a thread here in the Adult Area on PND, which you might find useful. Also, here are another couple of threads re. PND that I posted in when my LO was about 2/3 months old - clicky and clicky - it always helps me to know that they way I'm feeling is noraml, and lots of other people feel or have felt this way.

I hope Imogen is still taking your sleep vibes! Let me know how it goes!

Valentine Xxx

 

[valentine]

Thanks Bf! You won't believe this but I'm an Aquarian too! A very typical one at that!

Oh and re. the breastfeeding - just remember that regardless of how you feed you baby, no-one no-one can ever replace her Mummy - you are very very special.

There's a thread here in the Adult Area on PND, which you might find useful. Also, here are another couple of threads re. PND that I posted in when my LO was about 2/3 months old - clicky and clicky - it always helps me to know that they way I'm feeling is noraml, and lots of other people feel or have felt this way.

I hope Imogen is still taking your sleep vibes! Let me know how it goes!

Valentine Xxx

 

[Beatlesfan]

Hey all

Update on the sleep vibes I sent last night to LO!!!

I woke her at midnight, she took 5oz and went off to sleep.
She woke at 3.45 am for the boob and then a few more wake ups for dummy to be put in from 5.30 am. Eventually awoke at 6.30am for the boob.

We are trying a new routine ... at the mo we are roughly sticking to it, but will see how Imogen's moods are and if there is a natural pattern for her needs. So far she is doing well and I am feeling LOADS better.

have been taking the SPATONE supplements a few ladies on this forum take (iron supplement) - i was anaemic in pregnancy and being veggie may be lacking somewhat... anyway not sure if they have helped (probably) but I feel much more energetic and not so zombie-fied.

Have a good day everyone, I'll keep you posted on how our routine goes.
x x

 

[Moomum]

Awww - you're sounding a lot more positive and that's great to see.