starting to feel trapped

[wookie]

Hi,
Maybe I should have post this in 'relationship' but here goes my rant..

I'm starting feeling trapped being pregnant and at home.I've always been very independent,earning my own money,having my own flat and basically not owing anything to anyone (well apart from the bank !).Now I'm home earning a pittance and my OH takes me for granted..He works very long hours,he leaves home around 7 am and he's not back before 6.30 sometimes even up til 9 or 10 pm ! but when he comes home he expect his dinner ready which I don't mind most of the time.But now I get that feeling that this is my new life,I never wanted to be a housewife ! Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong being a domestic goddess but I really feel I'm going to get stuck in that role ..I live in OH flat (renting mine out) and so far I've paid my share of the bills so why should I always be the one doing the cooking,cleaning etc.. I fear it's just going to get worse and worse and I'm going to end up like my mum ,with no real life .OH has been an arse recently and because he works so much he keeps telling me that I have no consideration and that I don't realise how tired HE is every time I try to get him to do something in the house..the cheeks ! he never lifted his little finger even before I was pregnant and was working full time ..I'm really happy I'm pregnant and he is too but the future really scares me..Anyonelse is worried about their future ?

 

[Kay1987]

Sorry your feeling down at the moment but remember your hormones will b all over the place aswell! OH will have to pull his weight once LO arrives coz u cant b expected 2 do everything yourself! Im quite lucky that my OH is a bit of a clean freak so we both do our fair share of chores but i can relate to u on the "tired" thing. My OH comes in and falls asleep on the sofa almost EVERY night and if he puts our son down 2 bed he falls asleep in there for ages, when i say something about it he says hes "tired from working all day" as if hes the only one, like im not tired myself pregnant and running around after a toddler all day but we cant all sleep whenever we feel like it! x

 

[wookie]

hahaha,yeah bloody hormones ! feeling better today but I keep having those big surges of panick thinking of how much my life is about to change ! I'm so happy I'm going to be a mummy in a few months but at the same time terrified that I'm going to be stuck at home with piles of washing and dirty nappies and a semi present OH , not earning my own money making me very dependant ... I worry too much, I need to chill !

 

[purplehippy]

I totally understand you.

And HE doesn't understand that whatever the f*ck he's doing at work, it does NOT rival (doesn't even come close!) the hard work you are doing, making this baby. There's a bloody good reason we are always tired when we're pregnant. He should be supporting you, not making you feel like this.

Unfortunately I've had so many words with my own OH about some of these things - I've got awful troubles at home too. And feel trapped. And taken for granted. But I'm not earning at all, and am not on anything more than working tax credits (and my DLA) because we live together and he has a half reasonable job.

I'm sorry you feel the way you do. I miss my independence and I also miss having my own place.

 

[emmaandamyleigh]

awww hun im the same f curse i live on my own with amy but my oh comes ver to stay a few nights and he dont help when i lived with him at the pub he worked i tidied and looked after amy he never really does anything i use to omplain all i got was i wrk all day now i dont say anything i dont just do the tidying i cook lean and do shopping for both places and look after amy and ive another baby on the way so im guessing he wont do much there plus amy still needs looking after so ill have two his family dont offer help s im basically on my own may aswell be a single parent. but i dont mind sometimes coz ive got amy into a routine shes in bed by a certain time when hes here it goes out the window as i want to put her to bed at the tym she goes and he ends up playing with her lol

 

[amandapanda]

Maybe you could look at going back to work part time after the baby is born? That would give you some of your independence back and stop you from feeling trapped at home 24/7.....although you can bet you'll still be left with all the childcare and chore to do...but it might just help your sanity!! xx