OH doesn't want to tell colleagues

[CARNAT22]

Sweetie,

As long as you are happy with your OH's stance then that is all that matters.

The fact you started the thread kind of makes me think you are not entirely happy about it?

However there are reasons and as long as OH is being good to you and baby that is what is most important.

xxxxxxxxx

 

[newbie1984]

Also i've only told my close friends and family... because they are really the only ones i care about and want to know. My pregnancy was completely unplanned and we were both shocked so maybe its both of us still getting used to the idea that life is going to change forever! That said now its sinking in we are both happy about it but i just dont feel the need to shout it from the roof tops.

 

[newbie1984]

I wasnt happy first of all no your right because it made me feel like he didnt care or want it, and i was questioning why.... but in thinking about it i do understand. Hormones make you think crazy things. I dunno, we havent been together for that long and although we have known each other for a year and a half it does make you wonder when people make some choices.... I'll be fine. He is there for me and hasn;t missed an appointment yet so thats all that matters i guess.

 

[Sunbeam638]

Hi

Just wondered if any of you have any experience of their OHs not wanting to tell their work colleagues of your pregnancy? He works for the police and says he doesn't want people knowing our business, not because he is ashamed or anything but just wants to keep it private. He has told his friends outside of work and family. He has some history with someone who he works with (not directly anymore) which happened before I came along and I understand that he doesn't want her to know the same way I don't want my ex to know, but it wouldn't bother me if he did know I just have no need to tell him:

I'm not really sure how I feel about OHs lack of telling work people! Is this normal for blokes? He said he will tell his supervisors when he needs to.

My oh works for the police and has kept it a secret, I'm quite relieved. It's not that oh is ashamed or anything like that it's just him

I did think odd but then I'm different to him. Don't worry I work in a similar job and to be honest I don't really see colleagues as friends and haven't discussed my pg with them unless they ask
Don't worry it's the job more than them I think xx

 

[newbie1984]

Hi

Just wondered if any of you have any experience of their OHs not wanting to tell their work colleagues of your pregnancy? He works for the police and says he doesn't want people knowing our business, not because he is ashamed or anything but just wants to keep it private. He has told his friends outside of work and family. He has some history with someone who he works with (not directly anymore) which happened before I came along and I understand that he doesn't want her to know the same way I don't want my ex to know, but it wouldn't bother me if he did know I just have no need to tell him:

I'm not really sure how I feel about OHs lack of telling work people! Is this normal for blokes? He said he will tell his supervisors when he needs to.

My oh works for the police and has kept it a secret, I'm quite relieved. It's not that oh is ashamed or anything like that it's just him

I did think odd but then I'm different to him. Don't worry I work in a similar job and to be honest I don't really see colleagues as friends and haven't discussed my pg with them unless they ask
Don't worry it's the job more than them I think xx

Thank you for this i think this is similar to my OH, you know what the police is like.... everyone is involved with someone i guess its just cleaner and easier. He always said he learnt his lesson and ever since work and personal life is sepeate.

 

[babyem]

Also i've only told my close friends and family... because they are really the only ones i care about and want to know. My pregnancy was completely unplanned and we were both shocked so maybe its both of us still getting used to the idea that life is going to change forever! That said now its sinking in we are both happy about it but i just dont feel the need to shout it from the roof tops.

So why isn't this a good enough reason for your OH? If he doesn't care about the people he work with why would he want them to know, like you? I'm not having a go, but if you feel that way why can't OH? x

 

[newbie1984]

I guess it is, it's just the way he went about saying it making me feel like the pregnancy and i was insignificant. I HAVE to tell work, I mean it'll be pretty obvious to them in the coming weeks.... I dunno I just would have thought he may want to tell his close colleagues but no. It's fine I'm just over analysing. Ignore me. X

 

[babyem]

I guess it is, it's just the way he went about saying it making me feel like the pregnancy and i was insignificant. I HAVE to tell work, I mean it'll be pretty obvious to them in the coming weeks.... I dunno I just would have thought he may want to tell his close colleagues but no. It's fine I'm just over analysing. Ignore me. X

I over analyse things all the time - OH hates it!!
Everyone deserves to be listened to, so we won't be ignoring you!! x

 

[Sunbeam638]

Don't worry Hun I found it odd at first being so secretive about his personal life but he had a similar thing happen to him so now he doesn't give anything away.

Sadly not so easy for us ladies! Don't worry xxx

 

[Hope81]

My oh told his work last week actually I couldn't care less when and if he tells them?
I didn't even think thats weird before I saw tour thread.
If you are ok with your oh I don't see why you should worry (or care for me lol) when he tells people.

 

[Sammyxo]

I get where your OH is coming from. If I was still at my last job I would have just wanted to quit rather than tell my colleagues I'm pregnant, luckily I left that job a few months ago so they didn't have to know. I disliked quite a few of my colleagues and didn't want them knowing anything about my life. When I used to tell people even the smallest detail everyone would gossip and try and find out more, it was awful.
I can understand where your OH comes from, and whilst it seems strange it must be easier for him not having to share his personal life with people who at don't care about him or you anyway.

 

[emser]

To be honest i don't see what the problem is. If he's told his family and friends (i.e. the important people) then what does it matter if he doesn't want to announce it to the world? Maybe he see's it as a private thing or maybe he doesn't want to jinx anything. I'm fairly similar, in that i have told my family and close friends but have no intention of telling the people i work with! I've told the girls in my office but won't be telling anyone else in my dept or the wider group. It's none of their business and as long as my friends know i'm happy. They'll work it out eventually - or maybe they'll just think i'm really fat lol My husband on the other hand wants to shout it from the roof tops and tell every man and his dog.
We're all different and make personal choices - doesn't make them wrong. Try not to worry about it, you'll just stress yourself out which won't be good for bump

 

[Coco pops]

I guess there's no way you can force him to. But the way you've worded it makes it sound like you're his dirty little secret, he should be proud of you and the baby!

I agree, sounds very dodgy to me