Stag Do...

[Krystal]

Do you mind your OH going on a stag do?

OH is planning on going away next year for one of his friends stag party's. They are going on a 2 day booze cruise to Amsterdam I'm not particularly happy about it but have kept quiet. One is because I don't want him to feel as though I don't trust him. I do 90% but there is a big part of me that thinks anyone put in certain situations with lots of booze and girls may cheat.

Another reason is because I think well I wouldn't go away and leave him with Jack for a whole weekend but it's ok for him to do it But maybe that is just an excuse and it comes back to the trust thing.

What do you girls think of this type of thing? either in my situation or what you would do?

Like I say I haven't said anything to OH

 

[kirlykird]

I would probably HATE it.

Not because I don't trust my husband, I do but because of my own insecurities. My ex betrayed my trust & therefore I find it very hard to trust in these situations & sadly that left a very hard imprint in my mind

Although may I add, I would never stop him going and I am very embarassed to admit this

 

[SarahH]

doesnt bother me to be honest.

I have actually been to some staggers as I have some really close male friends - they aint that great to be honest!

 

[Krystal]

Although may I add, I would never stop him going and I am very embarassed to admit this

No I would never stop him going, I'd feel terrible if all his mates were going away and he couldn't cos I was insecure about it. Grrr it's so hard lol, i'm pretty sure he wouldn't but know that weekend is going to be horrible for me

 

[kirlykird]

Although may I add, I would never stop him going and I am very embarassed to admit this

No I would never stop him going, I'd feel terrible if all his mates were going away and he couldn't cos I was insecure about it. Grrr it's so hard lol, i'm pretty sure he wouldn't but know that weekend is going to be horrible for me

I'm sure i won't be half as bad as you expect it will be

The thing is he owes you big time then, so start plannig your girly trip to New York with his credit cards

No, seriously, it will all be ok, he's with you & he'll be coming home to you

 

[trixipaws]

LOL did u not read my post in adult area...! my boyf admitted to me if he hadnt had so much gak the girls wouldve been "very hard to resist", and he told me all about the lap-dances he got!

but i dont mind, i like that he gives me freedom too- i kno he'd "let" me go away without him

 

[Krystal]

Aww thanks hun, your totally right. Gonna stop driving myself crazy

 

[Krystal]

LOL did u not read my post in adult area...! my boyf admitted to me if he hadnt had so much gak the girls wouldve been "very hard to resist", and he told me all about the lap-dances he got!

but i dont mind, i like that he gives me freedom too- i kno he'd "let" me go away without him

Yes I read your post in adult.. why you think i'm so concerned

 

[nickilubs]

I wouldn't stop him. But if it really upset me, which depending on where he was going or who he was going with I would expect him to respect that.

Say if it was my brothers stag night or someone who knew me as a friend and him then it would be fine, but if it was just mates or people who wouldn't respect that he had a family and would encourage him although ultimately it would be up to him anyway I wouldn't be so sure.

But saying that if hes going to do anything then hes just as likely to do it here as he would anywhere else in the world, and at anytime.

Hugs anyway because I feel I'm a jealous spazz for saying that but I can understand your worries!!!

 

[NickyB]

I'm so pleased that I wouldn't mind, my DH has gone away for his, and he had to go away for the weekend when I had my hen do too. He's been away for the odd Xmas boys night out thing. I totally trust him 100% and don't need to worry in that way.

I think I may have difficulties after the baby's born though, I can totally understand that Dad works all week, Mum looks after the little ones, Dad goes away for the weekend and Mum still has to look after the babies. I think I'd be jealous of him being able to go away, but I haven't experienced that love that people have for their children yet, so maybe that outweighs it?

 

[Happybunny]

Usually I have no issues with a stag do. I know my OH is sensible and wouldn't do anything too stupid.

However, he has one in July and this time it is different because we will have a baby. I wouldn't go away and leave him all weekend with the baby, so I don't expect him to either. We made a committment to raise this child together. I also don't see why our limited money should be spent on one person drinking and going to titty bars when any extra money we have should be used for the good of us all, as a family.

OH and I have reached a compromise about the stag do in july. He is going for one night only, instead of two. That is fine with me.

A slight aside....I think stag and hen dos are now way over the top and expensive. Weddings are expensive enough for a guest...let alone having to pay for a weekend away somewhere. What happened to going out on the town one evening?

 

[leckershell]

I'm paranoid about everything... it's nothing against your personal circumstances, and I know it's my own insecurities from having a pretty sh!t load of experiences, but I don't trust anyone anymore and that's pretty sad really I'd like to think Nat wouldn't stray but in my mind it will never be 100%, and nor would it with anyone else

 

[Lou]

My OH has been to Amsterdam loads of times, a few stag do's, Africa for 6 months, Vietnam for 2 months, Bali, Indonesia and loads and loads of weekends away. If you spend your life worrying about what might happen you'll be miserable! Yes men get drunk and look at girls, it wouldn't be normal if they didn't and yes some men cheat but to be honest they will cheat whether they are down their local pub or hundreds of miles away (although they are less likely to get caught hundreds of miles away) I'd hate for my OH to have to ok trips with me first. He has so many mates who have to ask permission to do anything and believe me they really resent it and all their mates take the piss out of them.

Don't worry about it, if shit happens deal with it there and then

 

[Lindsay]

Hi hun

DH and I have recently had words about this!!

DH is best man in September so I knew that he would be going on the stag do and to be honest I really don't mind him going on this one. I know the groom really well and he is a lovely lad and would trust everyone to be good boys, if you know what I mean

Well, before I fell PG he told me that he was saving up with the lads from work to go to the Munich Beer Fest which I thought was in October. He is still hell bent on going and it will be in September so I will be left with a 2 year old and a possible month old baby.

To make matters worse he then text me from work saying, 'any chance I could go on a stag do in May to Warsaw' I calmly replied saying 'we will talk about this when I see you' Well when I saw him I told him that I thought he was taking the p*** he works shifts and this stag do would have meant him working his 4 shifts then going away for 3 nights - spending money that he keeps telling me we haven't got!!!

The lads he was wanting to go to Warsaw with are both non-committal to their partners, one is a real male slag who often has 3 girls on the go at once as well as his long term who he uses for when suits him so I wasn't happy about him going on this one at all - I did say that he could go on one but not both which I thought was fair of me.

He has decided to go to the October Beer Fest and not to Warsaw but am sure that he thinks I am a moaning wifey - he goes on about other husbands being able to get passes to go away really easily!!

I feel so much better getting that off my chest

Xxx

 

[Chrissy1]

I wouldn't like mine to go on a weekend one purely because I hate being away from him for so long!!

I trust him impicitly and wouldn't mind if it was only a night out one but I don't think I'd like to be away from him for more than one night. since we've been together we've only spent two single nights apart and I hated it!

I agree with a previous comment thought about stag and hen do's being overrated. With mine I enoyed the build up more than I actually enjoyed the day and night. I thought it was really disapointing. I know my DH enjoyed his but again it was just another expense we could have done without in the few weeks before the wedding!!

 

[Lou]

I think if my OH was going out and pissing money up the wall we didn't have then I'd be pissed off but my OH works hard for his money and I don't want for anything so I'm lucky in that respect. Personaly I think the more you tell your OH what they can and can't do then the more they'll keep from you and the less respect they'll have for you. We aren't their mothers I also think its a bit naive to think that just because you keep a man under lock and key its going to keep him faithfull. If anything I think it makes them more likely to betray you because they won't value the trust you do have in them.

Just my opinion though from my experiences

 

[Krystal]

Thanks girls, like I say he doesn't know i'm not happy about it anyway.

Lindsay - I totally agree with you, i'd have been the same if I was in your position i think.

Gonna just have to get over it aren't I, i'm not going to stop him going so why worry myself over it lol

grrrr i still will though

 

[foxymum]

Rich went to Amsterdam last May for my sisters at the time husband to be's stag weekdn (well 1 night) & i remember posting here coz i was worried!

i had no choice but to be ok about it as it wasn't just a friend getting married , but my sister.
he enjoyed himself & they still talk about it now, my step dad who is 62, went with them & when he came back he said he wants to take my mum there, so it can't be that bad.

Rich said its only 1 street where the red light things are & the rest is beautiful.

its a lovely feeling for us to let our men go off & do things on there own & also know that if we ever went away for a girly hen wkend, what can they say

 

[Lou]

I don't understand why you gals are so insecure. You are all funny and kind and attractive, whats the matter with you!!!!

 

[MissSara]

God i wish Lee would come home and say hes going away for the weekend........lol
I would love to get the girls round for chocolate and a good old game on singstar, it's not the same when Lee's hoovering in the background........lol.