Sorry I need to rant...

[M&Ms]

I don't know how many of you know but when I was 5 months pregnant, I split with my baby's father as he was violent towards me. Vowed never to let him anywhere near me or our son as I couldn't trust him not to lash out again in future. Well as time has gone on, I've softened a little and against all my family's wishes, I allowed him to come and visit our son and me in hospital when he was born. Since then I have been keen for him and Marcus to have contact (with me being there) as I felt it important for them to both bond as early as possible.

Like the fool I am, I let my guard down and decided, given time, if he went for anger management classes and proved that it could sort his head out, I might think about having a relationship with him again. We've kissed, we've held hands, he's told me he loves me and we spent most of daytime last week together with our son. Aside from all the problems it would cause, I hoped it would work out, if only for the sake of our son.

Yesterday, I found out for definite that he has started seeing another girl. He says it has only been for 4 or 5 days but I know he has been seeing her longer than this because I had been told by a mutual friend last week. For the sake of our son, I gritted my teeth today and allowed him to come over to visit and we went for a walk up into the town. He had a missed call and a few texts on his mobile then announces he is going to head home early by bus. Not a problem. Except half an hour later I find him standing with another girl (whom I assume to be his new gf) in another part of town, opposite way from the bus station!

I waited a while then rang him at home to give him a bit of grief over this as he had lied to me yet again. In the chat we had he tripped over what he was saying and admitted that he had been seeing a girl last week when we were together! Denies it is the same one, but having spoken to yet another friend of ours I find that he has been seeing this girl that he has been seeing for only 4 or 5 days, for 2 MONTHS!!! So last week, not only was he seeing me but he had 2 other girls on the go!!!

OK, I know I have been a complete and utter idiot getting back involved with him, but I was only doing it for our son. I really don't know what I should do now. I can't bear the sight of him and I am supposed to be going over to his mum's house on Wednesday when his dad is coming to see the baby for the first time. I really don't want to be in the same vicinity as him, let alone have to be pleasant to him and play happy families. The atmosphere will be awful as I am so angry with him at the moment. His dad will be doing a couple of hour drive down to see him and so I don't want his journey to be marred by me wanting to put an axe through his son's head!

So what should I do? Obviously, and I have told him this today, I want nothing more to do with him on a relationship level, ever! I just don't know what to do about this visit from his own dad. I can't send Marcus on his own for the visit as I am breastfeeding, but I really don't want to see my ex. HELP!

 

[M&Ms]

Sheeeesh! Sorry that was a long rant!

 

[Nic'n'Keeley]

First i wanna give you these

I personally would still go to he's mums and so he's dad can see Marcus as you wil be the bigger person if its uncomfortable make excuses and leave but you wil have peace of mind that he's dad has seen the baby


And for you ex Men!!!!!

 

[enn]

cant his dad come round yours instead so u dont have to see your ex. tell his dad that u dont wanna see your ex bf and say why.

 

[xjdx]

Yh i agree with enn, your the one in control, you have your son and obviously your exes dad will want to see his grandson. You dont need games when you have a four week old baby it is a very emotional time. Its not that you have let your guard down, your emotions are bound to be all over the place and (dont go mad at me) but you maybe visioned a famiy unit? I find it really disrespectful and so should you, what your ex has done to you after all your his child mother! You dont need that in your life, do whats right for your son let him see your baby, but dont get involved with him emotionally! Be the better person and it will make you feel a whole lot better and stronger
Good luck keep us posted!

 

[trixipaws]

ur right not 2 get back in2 a relationship, ur son dont need that. if u can stay amicable with him 4 the sake of ur son thats best. its better 2 hav parents who are apart but get on with each other than parents who are 2gether and fight or hate each other.
i think u should be polite and nice when u go 2 his mums but u dont hav 2 play happy families. u hav 2b strong. i kno its easy 4 me 2 say. good luck hun xx

 

[M&Ms]

I've decided to grin and bear it on Wednesday. My ex's mum took us both out for lunch today and she is being so nice and supportive to me at the moment I wouldn't want to rock the boat by causing waves.

Next task is how the hell do I organise a christening when my Mum refuses to have any part in an occasion which involves my ex's side of the family

 

[mrs_tommo22]

God meezie im so sorry for all this trouble your having babes.

Is your exs mum aware of whats happend and the truth and not just what hes told her? Im sure his dad wouldnt mind visiting the LO around yours especially if the situation was explained to him.

Dont do anything though that your not comfortable with. And if your ex is bought up and your relationship tell them to blame the right party!

 

[M&Ms]

Can't believe I am having to put this on here so apologies to anyone reading this!

Seeing as my family are choosing to read these forums and report back to my estranged husband about my attempted and failed relationship with Marcus' dad, I would like to make a few things clear.

Whilst in the hormonal weeks following my son's birth I was seeing his dad and indeed, I raise my hand to this one, considering the remote possibility of getting back with him at some point in the future if he sorted his anger problem out, this is now being quoted in a statement AGAINST me, written by my own mother with regard to the residence of my daughter.

I would like to state for the information of this forum, and probably the courts involved in my divorce/residence case who will doubtlessly have access to this through my family, that I am no longer considering a relationship of any form with my ex partner (Marcus's father) other than what is absolutely necessary when it comes to our son.

I would also like to state that my daughter was never to to come into contact with my ex partner at any time without the express permission of my estranged husband, as will have been demonstrated by the letter sent via my solicitor to his solicitor with regards to my son's christening.