Social services involved with my 2yo **UPDATED**

[Welshhunniexx]

Had such a horrable day yesterday.

social services turned up yesterday as they had had a call saying our living conditions were not suitable for our dd. i admit the kitchen was a mess but the living room was only cluttered as we have alot of things and really no where to put it.
as they have been involved before for the same issue, our dd is being put on the child protection and has to stay at my mums until the house is deemed clean enough. our dd cant even come into the house.

im 10 weeks pregnant and so scared and stressed. all iv done is cry. that lil girl is my life and i cant even go and see her, i could if i wanted to but it will break my heart if i do knowing that i dont know when she will be back in my care.

has anyone else had anything like this as im so scared they will take her away permently and then take my unborn child next year x

 

[Lovisa]

I haven't been through this but I didn't want to read and run.
Hopefully your daughter will be back with you soon
Is there anyone who can help you out? I.e help you sort the house out, give you advice/go somewhere with you to get help per advice or maybe look after your daughter for you until ss say otherwise?

Sending you lots of hugs and hoping she is with you soon x

 

[haych86]

didn't want to R&R but just want to say I hope all sorts its self out in the end hun.

Hugs x

 

[Geminiblue]

ok here goes....are you a hoarder? If you are then you can get help with this and you need to speak to your doctor. If not, then you need to get rid of as much as you can and have a good clean. If its the same issue arising then there is something wrong isnt there darlin, Im not saying this to hurt you but I think if someone offers to help you with the solution then things will look brighter and more positive. If you feel you are doing something about it then that helps doesnt it. You clearly love your child hey so its time to sort the issue out. Contact your local Surestart Children centre and speak to them, see if you can get some help/support regarding the cleaning and help you get back on track. Or even your doctor, or even social services, show them you want to have a solution and that you are prepared to go to any lengths to sort it. Ask their advice. Thinking of you xxx

 

[DaisyPurple]

ok here goes....are you a hoarder? If you are then you can get help with this and you need to speak to your doctor. If not, then you need to get rid of as much as you can and have a good clean. If its the same issue arising then there is something wrong isnt there darlin, Im not saying this to hurt you but I think if someone offers to help you with the solution then things will look brighter and more positive. If you feel you are doing something about it then that helps doesnt it. You clearly love your child hey so its time to sort the issue out. Contact your local Surestart Children centre and speak to them, see if you can get some help/support regarding the cleaning and help you get back on track. Or even your doctor, or even social services, show them you want to have a solution and that you are prepared to go to any lengths to sort it. Ask their advice. Thinking of you xxx

Good advice hun,
Hope you get some help and you get your daughter back soon xxx

 

[Mamafy]

I would say definitely keep contact up and then make a promise to yourself that you're going to get your place sorted and keep it sorted

I can't imagine what you're going through but with changes your lo will be home soon I'm sure x

 

[Lilelephant]

Tidy up ur house and prove to everyone that u r a the good mum we know u are x x xhope it gets sorted

 

[Welshhunniexx]

Thank you all.

im not a hoarder hun, its jus our living room is longer than it is wider (20ft x 10ft). having things around the skirting of the room does make it look smaller. i have blitzed the living room and bought a pile of cleaning products to scrub everything.

saw my gorgeous girl today for a while and it made me extremley happy. she was asking to go to mummy and daddys but i told her shes on holiday up nannys for a whie x x

 

[charliebear]

I hope you manage to get the house sorted and your little girl comes home asap. x

 

[Geminiblue]

good news about not being a "hoarder" as that is an illness that some people are afflicted with that can ruin peoples lives. So thats a great start try to get rid of anything you really really dont need. Good luck hope she comes home soon, that would kill me and I really feel foryou xx

 

[WILMAFLINSTONE]

Right Whelshunni and ladies who have replied, please dont take this as a personal attack as thats not what I do....but come on!!!!

You child has been removed from YOUR custody and put on an at risk register because the state of your house in unfit for them to live in???

Im sorry but for a child to be removed from its home because of the state of the cleanliness means its got to be horrendously filthy! Ive previously worked in this field and know that SS do dont remove children simpy because of a bit of clutter and as you have stated this isnt the first time this situation has arrisen!

If this has been a problem before and SS have been involved WHY ON EARTH have you not done something about it?

Im sorry I may seem harsh, blunt and to the point but pussy footing around you isnt going to get your daughter back or stop SS being involved with your unborn baby!

Get your finger out, clear out the rubbish and clutter thats causing this problem and make sure you keep it clean!
Why anyone would need to be told to clean their house in order to be able to keep their children is beyond me!!!

Do something and fast before you dont get a second chance!

 

[Squeakz]

Wss but sending you hugs as it must be helll x

 

[kra0]

Stay strong but do what you have to do to fix this! Like wilma said, u dint want to leave it til it's 2 late as you might not get another chance xxxx

 

[pushca]

I also work alongside social workers (though am not one myself) & know that taking a child away from their parents is often a last resort & a decision not taken lightly. Perhaps it's different in different areas of the UK, but I think its hugely unfair to judge you harshly without knowing full facts. I always judge by what I know of someone & from what I've seen you're an extremely caring loving mum & my heart goes out to you completely.

I truly hope you have your daughter back with you soon. In the meantime it seems you're doing the right thing by having a good spring clean to prove SS wrong. I'm a full time working mum of one & I sympathise with how tough it can be to keep a house ship shape!!

Keep strong, stay positive & don't stop until your wee girl is back where she should be xxx

PS Who keeps ringing SS?!?

 

[Mamafy]

How are you getting on? When will ss be in touch again? X

 

[Welshhunniexx]

Thank you all and thank you for your honesty.

doing the last little bits today so its spotless. just been on my hands n knees scrubbing the bathroom floor.
the worst room/s were the kitchen and bathroom (last part according to my mam) so def making them spotless.

dont know who called them this time, but last time was my mam. long story short, she had hope, couldnt get hold of us via our mobiles, me and her had a bust up and she called them. firstly threatning that she wouldnt give hope back so the police got involved, told my mam she had to the ss came.
last time its was only for 2 weeks so hopeing its not long, but oh reckons we wont get her back this side of xmas.

spent most of the day with her up my mams yest and loved every second. she is my world and i would do everything and anything for her. i dont care how much it takes but il get her back soon.

ohh and ss r back 2moz so il update then x x

 

[Mamafy]

Get into a daily routine and don't let anything slide, your lo is far too important. At least you can visit all the time and she's with family but I still can't comprehend how you must feel

Just promise yourself you're going to change and mean it for the sake of your lo. Good luck x

 

[titch]

make sure that house is sparkling for when ss come tomorrow! Show them the cleaning products you have bought. Keeping things clear and packed away really helps to keep it clean, have you got bookshelves/storage boxes/drawers etc.... Im sure you really dont like SS right now, but you could make the most of the situation, if you tell the social worker what you need to keep the floors clear they might be able to give you a grant to buy the stuff you need. Theres no reason to keep your daughter away until after christmas if youve really turned things around.

Good luck with the visit, I hope this is a fresh start for you so you'll never be in this situation again.

 

[Welshhunniexx]

Well ss have just gone and it was a much better experience.

they said the cleanliness of the house has improved alot but still got to do more work on the kitchen and get rid of the smell. cant work out really where the smell is coming from.

shes coming back friday and by the seems of it, if we get rid of the smell and its still clean, HOPES COMING BACK!

im over the moon and cant stop smiling!
fx for the end of the week x x

 

[titch]

thats brilliant news, that hard work paid off then. smell in the kitchen, could it be a piece of food thats rolled behind a cupboard or something? Hope things go well on friday.