So close...

[mags]

I am so depressed... I'm due for AF Tuesday and the signs looked SO good, montgomery glands showing up on my very sore breasts, lots of whiteish discharge, feeling very tired lately-- and then on Thursday night I experienced what I thought was the best sign of all--a tiny brown spot in my knickers (implantation bleeding). So Thurs. night I took a regular clearblue test which had the faintest line, you could only see it in direct sunlight or held at a certain angle but it was there. Decided not to get too excited and wait till the next morning. Fri morning's test was negative. I've tested both day and night every day since, on 3 different types of tests and all are negative. This is so hard to cope with, I'm prone to depression anyway and this is just more than I can take. Like a lot of people I don't believe in 'false positives' but I do believe that I was in the very very early stages of pregnancy and since many women don't test as early as I have--they never notice these early positives...their af comes a few days later and they never notice a thing.

So the tiny spot I saw wasn't implantation, it was me losing my baby. I'm feeling so sick inside and maybe some of you think I'm making such a big deal out of nothing, but if you read a post I made in the Relationships section of this forum ("Issues with his ex"), you'll understand why this is so soul destroying.

 

[rachie29]

Hi Mags

I'm sorry to hear your feeling so down

have your symptoms gone away completely? you said your af isnt due until tuesday and its only monday? HCG levels double every 72 hours in the first few weeks so if you tested every day it wont really reflect much of a change and depending on which hpt you used, they measure different levels (despite what some of them claim)

Dont give up hope just yet. you may still be in with a chance

 

[Mildly]

Hun you're not making a big deal out of nothing at all. Losing your baby must be incredibly upsetting regardless of what stage it happens at

However don't lose heart just yet, as Rachie has said. I would give it a few days and test again just to make sure your previous tests (i.e. the BFNs) aren't false ones. From what I've read on here it is far more common to get false BFNs than false BFPs

Will keep my fingers crossed for you

 

[Happybunny]

Sorry you feel so sad honey. I am not 100% sure from your post, but has AF arrived? If not, don't be too down, it aint over yet.
If she does come, I can understand how sad you must feel. Lots of hugs honey.
Michelle
xx

 

[tots hope]

How are you feeling today Mags? Just so you know we are thinking of you

 

[jenna]

I had this kinda thing in January, Im so sorry PM me if you want to talk. Im happy to listen & maybe help.

 

[mags]

Thank you all for your support, it means so much to me. I had a really rough night last night, every tv show we put on had a reference to pregnancy/giving birth--even hubby commented on it. I just feel like such a failure and the thought of going through this month after month is getting me down. I can't lose myself in this depresssion like I did after my first miscarriage (and that was at 8 weeks) because I've got to be a good mother to my Rosie (age 2) but there are times when I feel I'm headed somewhere I'd rather not be. I'm so fragile and this has been a rollercoaster year for me. I just want this baby with all my heart...

No sign of AF yet (due today), but what are the odds I'm pregnant after 6 negative tests?

 

[sparky]

i've just been through the same...got a bfp, followed by several bfn and eventually a late period, have been told it was probably a chemical pregnancy (very early misscarriage), this normally happens when there is not enough or correct genetic information to make a healthy baby so the development stops at that stage, they dont really know what causes it.

Thats not to say that will happen for you Mags, plenty of people have had bfp followed by bfn and a later bfp and have gone on to have healthy babies.

The main thing is, there's nothing you can do about it either way, except by kind to yourself, take some time out to forget about things...relaxation is the best thing for you.

 

[mags]

I'm glad to hear I'm not alone Sparky. It's so cruel, isn't it? Next time I'm not going to test unless I'm really late... How late was your AF when it finally came?

Have you really heard of people who have had bfp, then bfns and bfps again?! I wonder what causes this. Strange thing was I got my bfp at night and so was so psyched for my "real" bfp the next day with first morning urine. Couldn't believe it was neg.

 

[mags]

Have been talking to some wonderful people on this forum and now believe I had a chemical pregnancy. AF came today, so I'm wondering how long it's going to take for my symptoms to go away. I'm mostly referring to my bbs--the Montgomery tubercles are still very noticible and I've never had them before. They seemed to come up overnight (5 dpo to be exact) and that's what was giving me hope despite the BFNs.

 

[sparky]

hi mags, my period wasnt overlly bad at all, symptoms went within a couple of days....nips are still a wee bit larger but thats all.

anyhows giving you a big hug lets keep our fingers crossed for next month

 

[rachie29]

Mags

so sorry to hear the witch got you... good luck for next month

 

[mags]

Thanks Sparky, hearing that makes me feel a lot better. Let's hope we'll be getting some nice presents just in time for Christmas!