So called friend ship

[Baileysmummy]

I met up with this lass when i first got with mark,

well as you all know ive just give birth but it was her wedding at the weekend and now she wont talk to me because i didnt attend her wedding.. bailey had only just come out of hospital on the thursday and i wasnt feeling great myself as it was...

What do i do, let her get on with it because shes just being selfish or i do i say im so sorry i didnt go to wedding and hope she talks to me again..

If it was you would you have gone to the wedding,

Is this friend ship worth salvging or shall i just let her be silly and let this friend ship go..

We've been m8's now for 7 yrs

 

[frangelle]

Did you tell her beforehand you wouldn't be going or just didn't turn up?

I presume she knows you have just given birth? My friend had a baby a week before my wedding and only attended the ceremony, which was great. To be honest I didn't even expect them to come to that!!!

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

I think you just need to explain (if you havnt already) that you just couldnt go because you wernt feeling up to it and bailey wasnt up to it and you didnt want to leave him so soon. If she cant understand that then maybe in time she will, but if she doesnt then she is a little selfish. Only you know her tho babe so ultimately only you can decide wether shes worth hanging on to as a friend, but whatever happens you have nothing to feel guilty about

 

[Baileysmummy]

I rang her as soon as it was known to me i was having baby that week, she just said then well we'll see what happens and that was that..

i text her on the saturday to wish her all the best and got a snotty reply back,

The thing is bailey had been in scbu since being born, i hadnt spent no time with my other boys, so i thought my family was more important than attending a wedding...

plus the wedding was late evening as well, didnt thinkl it be fair to take bailey, after all hes only just come home that week 2 days prior,

 

[Baileysmummy]

I think you just need to explain (if you havnt already) that you just couldnt go because you wernt feeling up to it and bailey wasnt up to it and you didnt want to leave him so soon. If she cant understand that then maybe in time she will, but if she doesnt then she is a little selfish. Only you know her tho babe so ultimately only you can decide wether shes worth hanging on to as a friend, but whatever happens you have nothing to feel guilty about

thanks for that hun..

Another thing she didnt attend bradleys birthday because she was ill at the time, so i would have thought she would understand, her reply when i said that was "but a wedding is a big day and i wanted all my friends there"

i didnt not attend just out of spite, i was generally feeling like crap!

Oh well shes going on hoony moon on friday so shall see what she has to say or what she hasnt got to say when she gets back!

 

[frangelle]

If you told herbehand I cant see why she's getting sh*tty. Has she ever had a baby?

When I gave birth, I didn't leave the house for ages because I was knackered and sore, so I don't blame you hun, and like GGG said you have nothing to feel guilty about!

 

[smurf]

Jeeez I don't think I'd bother with her. I got married last year and one of our guests dad was ill so he wasn't coming but his wife was going to fly over (the wedding was in Ireland) anyway the morning of the wedding she said sorry but she couldn't make it I said fine don't worry about it and that was that we're still very good friends - at the end of the day its only a wedding yes it's an important day to your friend but your new born son's health and your health are much more important to you and if she couldn't see that then she's not much of a friend in my eyes.

 

[Baileysmummy]

Thanks girls, well im gonna wait till she gets in touch, if she does or doesnt you've all helped me make my mind up....

 

[muppetmummy]

yes, definately let her contact you. I don't think you've done anything wrong. If she hasn't had a baby herself she probably doesn't understand how tired you feel afterwards. I hardly left the house for a month after having James!

 

[foxymum]

i can't believe hos selfish shes being, sorry but shes no real friend, a real friend would have not hesitated when you said you may not make it & would have understood.

 

[AllieW]

I'm so surprised that she reacted like that! Whether you've had a baby or not, surely you can appreciate that it's a tiring business and that you may not be feeling 100%!

For goodness sake, we had all sorts of people not come to our wedding for all sorts of reasons - holidays, family engagements etc. You just take it in your stride. Actually, I'm impressed that you were able even to remember to text her on the day. If I'm feeling rough then I often fail to remember things like that and I expect I'll be even worse when I have children to look after too!

I'm actually wondering if there are other things going on here. Either jealousy or perhaps not being able to adjust to the changes that are bound to happen in your friendship with you having another little one to look after. In any case, those are her problems and not yours.

The most charitable assessment I can come up with is that she was stressed over her wedding preparations etc and wasn't really thinking about how she came across. If that is the case then, if she's any kind of decent person at all, she will presumably seek to try and make amends once she's back from her honeymoon.

If she doesn't, then I wouldn't fret too much over her. Clearly she has a warped view of how friendship actually works.

 

[FeeFee]

Fiona please don't take this the wrong way, but what the f**k are you even doing entertaining people like this you've had snags with "friends" before and i can't help but think you must be far too nice!!!
Tell this immature girl to sort her life out and when she's grown up and realises that friendship is a two way street she'll have a much happier life!

 

[Squiglet]

I'm sorry....wasn't Baily prem? Doesn't that mean he's a weaker baby than normal and possibly more supceptible to infections, so you really don't want to be taking him to huge social settings where he could pick up a whole host of illnesses his fragile little immune system might have trouble coping with? Don't you have two other little ones? Really...if she is going to be that childish because you didn't go to her wedding...you really don't need her as a friend.

Many people didn't come to my wedding either, and I wish there had been more people there to celebrate but you can't have everything and all the most important people were there.

If she is going to be so narrow minded I really wouldn't bother with her. If she hasn't had kids of her own...wait till she does, her attitude might change then.

You made the right decision, and she was just being a brat.

 

[Baileysmummy]

Fiona please don't take this the wrong way, but what the f**k are you even doing entertaining people like this you've had snags with "friends" before and i can't help but think you must be far too nice!!!
Tell this immature girl to sort her life out and when she's grown up and realises that friendship is a two way street she'll have a much happier life!

thats excatly me though feefee hun.. im to caring about others and what they may think or do.. mark is always telling me off for handing out things or giving money to my friends, i just cant say no.. im not like that, i dont like friction, i like to keep the peace etc etc, i need to start standing my ground alot more and being firmer with myself if that makes sense..

yes bailey was 6 weeks early, 1 of the reasons i didnt wanna take him with me..

Im so glad i made that choice now and you all agree with me..

 

[trixipaws]

say ur sorry u didnt go and explain why and if she's still arsey then forget her she cant be that much of a friend. x