so annoyed and upset

[Emma22]

am i just being overly hormonal here or do i have reason to be upset.

ive just received my FIRST mw appointment through yesterday and its not until the 10th nov? ill be 14 weeks then and out of my frist tri? i think that seems a long time to wait to have your first appointment and scan etc? my OH isnt able to make it to the appointment coz of work commitments so ive just rung up to change it and check that i shouldnt be seen before then and basically been told i should think myself lucky that im being seen then as most women have to wait till 16 weeks that i shouldnt cancel the appointment as the next one ill be able to get will be the end of novemever and basically tough if your OH cant make it! im so angry, said to her that i dont feel comfortable leaving it till im 16 WEEKS to have my first appointment and make sure everything is ok and there is a heartbeat, im sorry but it seems ludicrous to me, she said no thats fine and put up with it. got off the phone and ive not stopped crying i just want to know that there is a heart beat and that everything is ok. anyone else had this situation, when did you all have your first scans? sorry for the long moan but im so annoyed and upset now x

 

[weestar21]

awwww hun


with Adele i got my first scan at 10 weeks because i was bleeding alot

but withColby i thought i was only 8 weeks when iw ent for my scan but teh scan showd i was 15 weeks + 4 days

if you are really worried then they should see you sooner

take care hun
xxxxxxxxx

 

[jano]

You are right to be upset.
Its bloody stupid making you wait until 16 weeks, I always thought the first scan is at 12 weeksish.
I read somewhere that by seeing the hearbeat and ensuring everything is O.K. gives the mum so much resurance that its really good for the pregnancy.
It sounds like they have got their priorities wrong, its you`re right to have the scan and also to re arrange if the date wasn`t convenient, sounds like she had her knickers on too tight, I don`t think that they should employ people with attitudes like hers in the health service, so unprofessional.
Why don`t you wait until you are on the verge of tears again, and phone back, and ask to speak to a midwife and then explain to her how you feel, and then burst into tears, they don`t like crying pregnant women !! You never know your luck, you might get a compasionate one.
Sorry its not very sound advice, and good luck xx

 

[Emma22]

thanks girls, i told my mum and she rang my docs and the hospital and tried to sort it out for me with no luck. i can go to my docs apparently (under much duress from their side) to check there is a heartbeat but thats about all. the only other think i can think of is to book a private scan? if thats how their being with my first appointment, doing me a favor by fitting me in and as if its my fault im pregnant at such an inconvenient time for them, imagine how its going to be for the duration! my mum said dont let her get you worked up, some receptionists are so above themselves! i used to be one, hope i wasnt like that!

 

[Rosieroo]

My first scan was at 12 weeks, I met my mw at 6 weeks. In some areas you only get one scan and that is at 20 weeks (some areas of Bristol for example). Midwives normally check to hear the heartbeat at 16 weeks, it's unlikely that they'd check before then. I had a private scan this time at 6 weeks and I paid £95 I think

 

[cloud9]

I see the m/w for the first time tomorrow and will be 12 weeks not sure when my scan will be though...At our surgery they don't see you till you are about 11 weeks.

16 weeks seems very late to me

 

[Dinski]

When I was about 7 weeks I got a letter saying my first mw appt won't be until week 16, although my first scan will be at week 12. At 7 weeks, week 12 seems a long way off especially as you want to know that you are actually carrying a baby (because of all the horror stories). The only thing you can do is try and go to the EPU department (either phone them directly or ask your gp to refer you). If you are bleeding or having any problems they will normally see you pretty much straight away. Other than that the only thing you can do is rent a fetal doppler to try and hear the hb but you cannot normally hear it until about 9-10 weeks. Its very frustrating. In Germany when my sister was pg she had a scan practically every week from week 6. They say women in the UK are not having enough children but its not really surprisng seeing as your given such little help or advice during pregnancy.

Not very reassuring, but unfortunately we are all more or less in the same boat.

 

[claire81]

You have every right to be angry and upset, i don't think people realise just how stressful it is waiting for that first scan. With my first i had my scan at 11 weeks, my second was 10 weeks, this one i will have when i'm 12 weeks. I don't understand why you are being made to wait this long, its disgusting.

Claire

 

[Emma22]

the bloody nhs drive you mad dont they, my hospital has a 9 week wait list

two friends of mine live in the same area but not sure which hospital they are under and they have had their first scans before 12 weeks.

Ive got a nuchal scan booked for 3rd november, this isnt classed as your first scan is it? will they be able to check heartbeat/dates etc then?

peace of mind is all i want and they dont seem to care at all!

 

[Flame]

It makes me really angry to, i have ranted quite a bit about it in here and on the chat room.

My midwife finally rang me last night and before she even got to tell me what rediculous week she wanted to see me i told her i wanted an early scan because i need to reassure myself that things are ok. I told her that i know a local hospital has an EPU and they said on there website that they would see people early but needed to be referred to by the midwife, she told me she would try and call them today but chances are they either wont see me or it will be after 8 weeks, and i am now waiting for her to call me back with a date and an appointment to see her also.

If your midwife is being that nasty i would suggest asking to be referred to another midwife, because you want someone to help you and look after you whilst your pregnant, not someone who is going to upset you.

 

[Emma22]

fingers crossed she gets you an appointment flame x

it wasnt even my mw that i spoke to, some jumped up receptionist, so i have no idea who my mw is until i see them at 14/16 weeks, i dont even know if ill get my scan then, the letter doesnt say, im not ringing back coz ill really loose my temper with them, she made me so upset this morning, dont know who they think they are sometimes!

 

[weestar21]

if i was you hun i woudl ring them back firstthing in teh morning (about 9am if you can) andask to speak to a midwife, sorry i thought thast who you spoke to before, if thesnotty witch says no then tell her either she gets on on the phone right now or you will be straight down to see one.

If that fails is their a day ward at your local hospital? Ours have one just for things like if you havent felt your baby move in 24hrs you go their so the maternity wards arent over flowing with people just for checks and things. Ring them and they will be more than happy to put you on teh tracer for 30 mins to put your mind at rest (i was up their alot during my pregnancy with Colby ) whats even better is the day room is open from 8am till 8pm all you have to do is ring them in advance

sorry if this doesnt help hun

xxxxxx

 

[kirlykird]

where do you live?

I'm really surprised at that!

here in Oxford, I saw my mw at 6 weeks, 8 weeks, scan at 10 weeks and my next mw appt will be at 15 weeks...

Can't believe you have to wait so long.

Is that the local authority standard or just your doctors?

 

[loulou1980]

did you get your green notes from your doctor when you went to tell them you were pregnant we did and it has a midwifes name and number on there

 

[Emma22]

kent, im so surprised at the way they have dealt with it. i was so happy when i came out of my docs coz she was so helpful (no loulou didnt get given any notes or anything). basically got my letter though for nuchal scan on 3rd november and have only just received letter for my mw appointment (doesnt mention anything about a scan either in the letter) and its 10th nov which oh cant make then they offered me end nov when ill be 16 weeks, how can they leave it that long for a dating scan (thats even if i get a scan at that appointment!) and me to meet my mw? im so shocked at the nhs, i knew it was bad but didnt realise it was that bad. basically they arent offering me my dating scan and its tough luck!

have any of you had a nuchal, will they be able to check everything is ok at that and will we be able to see the baby, just thinkiing maybe i should just wait for that and then carry on hopefully as normal after that?

 

[Emmylou]

Hmmm, I would think with the nuchal scan they will be able to see the baby/ heartbeat, but I don;t really know much about it?! You should be offered a dating scan if they're offering a nuchal scan, as only a very small percentage of women are offered a nuchal scan - I haven't been offered one!

I had first mw appointment about week 7 and dating scan at week 10, then I have next mw appointment at week 16 and anomoly scan at week 20.

I do think its unusual that your hospital provide nuchal scans, but not dating scans at the 12 week mark?!

 

[Emmylou]

here's some info on nuchal scans babe:

http://www.mums.me.uk/nuchal.htm

Think they will probably be able to date you at the same scan

 

[Emma22]

thanks emmylou, ive been referred to a different hospital for my nuchal scan so its got nothing to do with the hospital that im going to for antenatal care. the more i read your replys the more annoyed i am (not at you lot!) as most of you seem to have been or being seen around the 8-12 weeks mark by your mw, makes me even more infuriated that they are 'happy' to see me at 14-16 weeks for the first time, its my first baby as well and ive no idea what to expect.

 

[Rosieroo]

I thought that a nuchal fold was exactly the same as a dating scan but that they just check the back of the neck aswell?

 

[fynemum]

I have the same problem Emma, I have to wait until i am at least 14 weeks pregnant (my dates) before i get my first appointment and scan. I have very genuine reasons for worry as my concerns posting listed but that doesn't seem to matter, I Know many people would be shocked/ horrified as my GP has already written to the EPU explaining, and that i may need help and advise on *QUOTE* "how to manage this pregnancy once scanned"
To not know 14/16 weeks weither am going to have a baby or not is not just upsetting but cruel... i do hope and pray all is ok in there, But enough of me again... yes I know exactly how you feel, so much so my mum is going Halfs for a private scan, now i have told her.I didn't want to tell anyone until i knew but now everyone knows as My OH has his head in the sand and just say's all will be fine.He is so happy, I hope he is right. I really want this wee bean whole and healthy, You know??