Slightly confused

[abcd1234]

Hi
i'm 19 and just found out i'm pregnant, it hasnt really sunk in yet to be honest, it wasn't planned and i've only known the father a few months. I've told him and at first he wanted me to get rid of it but its not really an option for me, yesterday he was more possitive and wants to stay with me and support me. I'm currently in my second year of uni and i really dont want to have to give that up but i know realistically i may have no choice.
I just need someone to help it sink in because at the moment it's still just a line on a stick. I still live at home and my relationship with my father is quite strained at the moment as it is. I wouldnt want to have the baby and bring it up at home but i wouldnt know where to start in sorting things out.
Does anyone have any advice on how to tell parents things like this? I think they know soemthings up and i dont like hiding things i'm just very scared to tell them. They know the fathers family so they wouldnt be hugely against him. I just know they'll be disapointed.
I still cant beleive it's really happening, i've taken four pregnancy tests, been to the walk in cantre and they've all been possitive. I've got to go to the doctors on monday to talk about it all, can anyone let me know what kind of thing they're going to be talking about because i dont know whether it'd be a good idea for him to come with me or not
I know i woudlnt be alone in the pregnancy, my friend who's 18 has just found herself in exactly the same situation (we're due within 2 days of eachother) so i'll always have someone close who's going through the same thing.
I also keep getting mild cramps, like period pains, the seem to come in mid afternoon and only last for an hour or 2, when i was in the walkin cantre the women said this may lead to early miscarriage, has anyone else had these? this baby might not have been planned but i still wanna look after it properly and dont want anything to happen to it.
sorry about such a long post theres just so much going through my mind and so much i need to consider, i jsut wanted some advice from people who are going through similar things
Clare x

 

[sarafet]

hi sweetie, and welcome.

i'm in a very similar situation to you, i'll pm you

xxx

 

[bumpmakes3]

Hi there and welcome. Congrats on your pregnancy. I know you're in shock (I think everyone gets a bit of this tbh) but you sound like you know what you want to do and just need to get it all out in the open.

Telling your parents is a big one and something I would be pretty nervous about as well but I promise you as soon as it's done it's a weight off your shoulders. Just tell them and give them time for it to sink in. Your boyfriend sounds like he wants to do the right thing which is good as he is involved in this too. I would see how it goes and just be honest with each other about how you're both feeling. You sound like you have some good support in place with your friends and just need a bit of time to get used to the idea.

You are pregnant and you are strong enough to cope with it. It is scary and probably much more scary when your life isn't exacly how you planned for it to be but you'll get there and you'll be a great mum.

As for the pains, look around, nearly all of us have had some kind of crampy, twitchy or sharp pains throughout these first few months and they get put down to stretching pains from where your body is changing to adapt for your baby so probably nothing to worry about. When you go to see the doctor they'll probably refer you to a midwife who will be able to talk through your concerns with you.

There are always people on here to talk to with any problems you're having so stay strong and lots of to you.

 

[Becs]

Hello,

Firstly don't worry about the cramps it was a bit mean of them to say it could lead to a m/c. I m/c'd last time and didn't get any cramps until after I had started bleeding and this time I had really bad cramps on and off all the way from week 4 to 6 and all is fine so far. It is just your uterus expanding and contracting in readyness to grow, and it feels just like period pain.

I didn't take my husband to my first doctors appointment or my first mid wife appointment and you really don't need to. The 1hr long midwife appointment you get after your booking appointment is probably more relavent for him to be there as they will ask lots of questions about both of your medical history.

My advice would be to see your doctor and explain these feelings to them. They will be able to let you know who can give you advice on how to go about telling your parents and what steps you can take to bring the baby up away from home. Also there is a teenage pregnancy section on here with lots of girls who have been through a similar experience as you and should be able to give you the wisdom of their own experiences.

I know you must be a little bit lost right now, but you sound very level headed and perfectly capable of bringing a happy little life into the world. Congratulations on your news I'm sure you will make a fabulous mother. Be guided by your heart, listen to others views calmly and give yourself time to digest them before responding. ( tricky when hormones are running high so may be easier said then done) This will make you feel more in control and will give your Father more confidence in your mature outlook. I would suggest it's also a good idea to wait until you have seen your doctor and recieved some advice as to what support is out there for you and how you plan to manage.

I really wish you the best of luck. My heart goes out to you.

Becs

 

[Jen23]

hi,



I am also in a similar situation to you so i totally understand. My pregnancy wasnt planned and I am in my final year of uni. At first we both didn't know what to do but i promise you now i could not be happier. We both cried for days after we found out about how much our lives were gonna change and how we were going to tell people and financially support a baby and finish uni, but then i thought i miscarried at 6 weeks and it answered all my questions. I am going to have a gorgeous baby boy and although everyone was shocked at first everyone is now so supportive.

I understand that you may not be ready for a baby yet but i didnt think i was either- i promise you its not the worst thing that has ever happened ( i thought it was) Its actually the best.



jen