sleep roputeens?! help

[lisa&alex]

ok.. so tonight we have tried the pick up put down technique.. i dont know if im doing it right? do i just put him down and wait for him to cry? pick him up untill hes calm and lay him down?

im putting him down hes crying.. i leave him a second or two till hes really crying then pick him up sooth him put him back down etc..then i needed a wee in the middle.. desperatly.. so nipped to the loo he was histericale.. after the wee i went bk.. and he was pretty much asleep sobbing on my shoulder.. i put him down he was screaming again. picked him up till he was quiet (pretty much asleep) put him down.. pick him up.. put him diown.. and now he is asleep.. but he fell asleep on my shoulder really not int eh cot?! help!!

 

[IsaB]

Didn't want to read and run, but just wanted to give you and say keep persevering! Not ideal that he fell asleep on you, but just keep trying - sounds like you're doing all the right things. Good luck

 

[lauramumof2]

Im not sure hun, pick up put down sounds kinda weird because you are lifting them and they are thinking yesssss then you are putting them down and its like whhhhaaaattt. Is he always like this?

I always favoured controlled crying and could tell by the sound of the cry if it was working. Never really needed to use it more than a few times though with Jess. Joe is another story but usually milk would solve it.

Its hard to give advice on this one as everybody and their babys are different but for you

 

[Beatlesfan]

hi Lisa

for you as it's sounds like you need them. We went through this with Imogen about a month ago and I thought I would share what we did as it has worked for us...

I read up on: controlled crying, lots of posts around this topic, asked mums I knew and we sort of came up with our own way and stuck to it... that seems to be the trick...

so we agreed:

I would put Imogen to bed until the routine was established.
after feeding her in bedroom (lights low etc.) I would lay her on her back in her cot, dummy in and leave her.
I left her for 2 minutes at first because she cried almost straight away as soon as she realised mummy had gone and wasn't coming back for cuddles! then went back, she was usually up on her knees so I would lay her back down on her back (not pick her up to settle her or cuddle her) and put dummy in. say shhhh shhhhh a couple of times, pat her back a couple of times and go again. I left it 2 mins again, did this again and again, but extended to 3 mins, then 4... so here's what happened.

night 1 - she cried for 20 minutes (and boy did she cry!) before she was asleep. but I knew it was attention because she would calm straight away when I entered the room, or she heard me on the stairs - soon as I went...more crying..
night 2 - went in 5 minute intervals cried for 10 minutes
night 3 - didn't go in she was asleep after 5 minutes of crying (crying at this point was becoming less distressed/angry..it was more of a whimpering / grizzle)
night 4 ... couple of whimpers but no crying

now most of the time she actually goes off no problem, at most she whimpers or grizzles a bit.

during the day we put her in her pram with a dummy and blanket in the hallway and leave her. again, she picked this up really quickly and occassionally she whimpers or grizzles but nothing major.

We agreed we would not pick her up but keep lying her down and leave her.

Maybe we have been lucky.. I have a friend whose son has cried for up to 4 hours using this method. Personally I could not leave it that long . but this was on the advice of her HV ...

Anyway, I think they key is perseverence and consistency. there have been a couple of occassions maybe during the day where she has just not gone off and we have thought maybe she wasn't tired enough, so we allow her up and she plays by herself for a bit to wear her out (no real "attention" from us) and when we see more of the eye rubbing, ear pulling, we put her in her pram etc.

I agree with lauramumof2 that picking up LO could be sending mixed messages to your LO - it could be confusing for him.

Good luck with it Lisa, it not easy at all. Keep posting with updates and maybe you will get some good ideas from people that you can use.

 

[IsaB]

pick up put down sounds kinda weird because you are lifting them and they are thinking yesssss then you are putting them down and its like whhhhaaaattt.

The pick up-put down thing is an alternative to controlled crying - the idea is not to let the baby get out of control crying, basically comfort them then put them back down to fall asleep on their own (maybe a bit of a midway point if you like). Especially if baby has been falling asleep as a rule outside of the cot it's easing them into getting themselves off to sleep. (Although I see your point - haven't thought of it like that!)

One thing I forgot to say Lisa - are you waiting for a bit to see what he does rather than rushing to pick him up? And the other thing is, maybe trying to maintain physical contact once you've put him back down e.g. leave a hand on his chest so he know's you're still there.

Good luck for tonight anyway xx

 

[lisa&alex]

hi girls thanks for the replies.

well it worked.. i got him to sleep after aobut 20 mins.. jsut standing there.. pick him up put him down pick him up put him down.. but.. the problam i had was in the middle of the night i did the pick up put down for about 40 mins the 1st time he was just histerical for the full time i held him for 20 mins solid with him screaming. he woke charl up.. so i decided enough was enough and i had to give him a bottle to calm him down..im going to talk to my health visitor next week

 

[IsaB]

the problam i had was in the middle of the night i did the pick up put down for about 40 mins the 1st time he was just histerical for the full time i held him for 20 mins solid with him screaming. he woke charl up.. so i decided enough was enough and i had to give him a bottle to calm him down

Hun, if he was screaming for that long in the night and it was only the bottle that calmed him, he was probably just hungry - especially if PU-PD worked earlier in the night, might be worth another go

 

[lisa&alex]

our problem is that he suckles to sleep.. sio when he wakes he wants a bottle to get himself back off.. the health visitor suggested diluting his milk so its basically water for the nights which we have done.. but yet he still wakes.. i cant have him screaming waking everyone up.. maybe this is just what our life is gonna be like untill he gets out of it himself?

 

[IsaB]

sorry I can't offer any more thoughts other than trying a dummy (if you haven't already), I guess all you can do is keep trying - it'll probably take him a few times to get the idea that the bottle's not coming