Single.

[Nonabean]

That is. I'm a single parent.

My LO's Daddy has moved from Scotland's central belt back to Stoke on Trent. And I feel like shit, because I asked him to leave. To let you all understand he's got some serious mental health problems. He's been suffering from depression for a long time, but, I could deal with that. He's on the autistic spectrum, but I could deal with that too. Then he told me that he's been having "thoughts". Apparently they've been happening for years, but this is the first time he's told anyone. These thoughts - they're of suicide, of purposely harming me, his Mum, sister, nieces, my Mum, and the baby.

So, we took him to a psychologist, and they told us that these thoughts were perfectly normal. That everyone has thoughts of hurting their baby on purpose. We asked to see a psychiatrist and were told that unless he wants to "act" on these thoughts there's nothing that they can do to help. I took him to the GP, who's changing his meds, but that could take 6 months for them to find the right drug.

Then, there's the angry outbursts. While I was pregnant I spent ~£2,500 decorating my bedroom, and so far, he's put a hole in 2 walls and the wardrobe door and broken his mobile phone.

I can't leave him unsupervised with the baby, in case he hurts him. And I'm back at work on Monday. (We live with my parents and my Mum will be looking after him overnight when I'm at work, so that's not a concern.)

He also tries to make me feel bad, when the depression is making him feel bad. I just couldn't cope. And yet, I still feel like shit. Because I've made him leave his baby behind, and because his Mum was a total cow to me about it. And because I know she dorsn't think he needs any help so I can't actually see him getting any better without someone pushing him to do it.

I know being apart from him is the bes thing, for me and Alexander, it just hurts like hell.

I'm sorry for the moan, I just, needed to put it into words.

 

[youngmummy22]

well i definitely dont think i agree with that psychologist.. thats terrible,if u dont feel safe especially for LO's sake your better off by yourselves..it will hurt obviously but i think your doing the right thing xxxx

 

[lewisca]

So sorry u have had such a rough time Hun. U have made a really hard decision and I know it wasnt made lightly !! U have put yourself and your lo first and no one should blame u for that. Rant away Hun we r all here for u xxx

 

[ISH]

That sounds like you've been through hell and back Give it some time, I am quite sure you won't feel half as bad as a single parent as you did in constant fear of your baby getting hurt

I feel sorry for your OH too, he can't help his condition...

 

[Titch85]

I am really sorry it has come to that but you and your baby need to be safe! If he sorts himself out, he can still have a relationship with his baby?

 

[Nonabean]

Yeah. I've told him to stay in Stoke for 6 weeks and get some help then he can start visiting. It was honestly like have 2 kids. Sometimes he doesn't wash for 4/5 days at a time. And he leaves like, snotty hankies/dirty boxers stuffed behind the bed. Xx

 

[VikkiR]

It's tough when decisions made as mummies conflicts with those made as partners. I admire that you were strong enough to make the decision as a mummy, for what it's worth I think it's the right one. I hope you've got plenty of support hun, big hugs xx

 

[katie_lou]

Really sorry to hear this hun I hope ur ok but you have done the right thing xxxx

 

[leannesxb]

A single parent isn't a bad thing hun. I was one for 12 years. Do not let anyone make you feel guilty you have been the best mum by putting you and the LO in safety. No one who has those thoughts are safe around you guys and you have enough on your plate without looking after him as well. xxxxxx

 

[ZMD]

Really sorry to hear this hun, youve done the right thing. I really hope your OH gets the help he needs xx

 

[tabbi]

Hun you have done the best thing you could of, he should really be put in harplands in stoke on trent it helps with people in his situtaion. am sorry to say 90% of men from there do smash things up for no reason and act like *******s i can say this as i am born and bred stoke on trent girl myself.
you did the right thing by your son and his mum ignore if she loves her grandson she would understant that this is best for everyone. do make them aware that he can have contact supervised for your sons own proctection.

as for it hurting it will and it will for some time too am sorry to say, just remember you love your son more and he is worth it. am sorry to hear it hunni but things will look up for you sooner than you realsie your family love and support you and thats everything x x x

 

[My1stBaby]

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this but you've been amazingly strong to do what's best for your baby well done you xxx I really hope he gets the help he needs, mental health is a tough thing to deal with.

Were all here for you xxx

 

[Olive]

So sorry nona x


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[TORino]

Sorry to read this. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you

Big hugs

 

[Nic36]

Sorry to hear you've had to go through such a difficult situation. In my opinion, you have made the very best decision for you and your son. Your OH needs to get help for his condition - there is no way you could continue to feel you and your LO were in danger like that. I really hope things improve for you now. Xx

 

[LoopyLouize]

I am sorry your going through this

I do think for yours and your sons safety you have done the best thing. Hope your ok xxx

 

[BabyBrain]

don't know what to say hun, sorry it's come to this xxxxxxxxx

 

[Bee7]

So sorry to hear you're going through this but you should feel assured that you've done the right thing. I feel very sorry for your OH but ultimately you have to put the safety of your baby first. If you didn't feel able to leave them unsupervised together then that speaks volumes. You may feel guilty now but i imagine it's nothing compared to how you may have felt if (god forbid) something bad had happened.

We're women and mothers, not superheroes and there's only so much us mums can cope with. I imagine you've enough on your plate with your LO and going back to work, without worrying about your OH too. Utilise your family's support, at least you're not completely alone. Hopefully your OH will get the help he needs. I think being away from the pressures of having a baby etc is probably the best thing for him as well. Hope it all works out for you hun xx

 

[redbear]

i dont think its 'normal' to think of hurting your baby, well i never have and if you havent then that must not be right x