Single mum of 3?

[Linny1989]

Hey ladies just want some advice really. For a while m I mean years my oh has always had a fucked up sleep. Sleep in day awake at night. He will fix it for maybe 2 weeks then just go bk to it again. I have 2 kids 3 and 1 and due another in 6 weeks. I feel like a single mum already. He says hes trying to sort it out. I'm fed up of constantly shouting upstairs to wake him so after like the 5th time I give up.

I see it as if he wants to change his ways he will n dont need me to help him. If he was thay adamant to change.

Hr says it's coz hes depressed etc. But I feel depressed but I no I have to look after our kids.

What do u girls think I should do? Been crying today. Just don't no if I have the strength to keep doing this x

 

[cosmicgirl]

So does he work nights then? How can he live like that all the time? That's ridiculous xxx

 

[Linny1989]

No he used to work night. Then worked day. Then lost his job for other reasons. If he worked nights I would have no problem with it ya no. X

 

[tambo1976]

I completely understand how you feel. My OH has always been a terrible sleeper, an insomniac pretty much but then when the sun comes up he can sleep for England. We have had a lot of arguments over the years about it and he has really tried to make more of an effort to not lie in bed during the day.

The main thing that changed him was getting a job. When he was unemployed it was just so easy to be a lazy ******* but he sorted himself out rapidly once working. Unfortunately he lost his job just before Christmas and has struggled to find more work but has still maintained a better sleeping pattern.

I try to help by waking him up with a coffee to let him know it's time to be up and if that fails I just turn the music up! He gets the message quite fast now but it has taken me a while to make him understand that if he continues his nocturnal lifestyle then I may as well be single. I am confident now though that as soon as he finds work again he will be fine because he has proved he can change his sleeping pattern.

You have to tell him how you feel, infact not just tell him, drum it into him that this is not acceptable at all. He had to change his ways for your family's sake. It's just so unfair, it will only get worse when the new baby arrives and you resent his lazy ways even more.

I honestly would tell him he needs to start job hunting and if he refuses then camp in the bedroom with the kids. Let them jump on him and play noisy games to force him awake and do it daily, he will soon get pissed off and find that work will actually be a better option.

I hope he listens to you and tries to change for your sake. I actually think it's harder to be in a relationship sometimes than it is to be single because I remember I used to try and keep the kids quiet because he was in bed just for a quiet life! Then I realised, screw that, I'm not keeping them quiet just so he can get more sleep! I then actively encouraged noise to piss him off enough to get out of bed lol x

Tapatalking so can't see sigs

 

[Linny1989]

Thats the thing tho lol. I'll have music loud when I'm cleaning and kids noisy etc. Even when hes asleep on sofa he dont wake up. Ice taken him food and cup tea up before and ita gone cold or he eats and goes back to sleep. I have tried everything. I just don't no what more I can do. I have spoke to him and like I Said he says hes depressed etc. But then on another note he says when he is awake in the day hes happy. So to me that aint depressed? X

 

[cosmicgirl]

He needs to see a dr then.
When does he interact with his children if he's asleep all day? Parents have no business sleeping all day every day IMO.
He's needs to get his ass out of bed, get to a GP, take some responsibility for his behaviour, get a job and grow up! x

 

[Linny1989]

I feel the same. Hes on citalopram tablets coz had bike accident in 07. He says they make him like this so I said stop taken em then. He said no. He had a doc app on Thursday but he wouldn't wake up so missed it. He actually slept 24 hours the other day. Just wakes up as if it's fine. N then he wonders y I'm miserable all the time. Because I'm 34 weeks pregnant looking after 2 kids and a house and him on my own x

 

[cosmicgirl]

I feel very sorry for you but I also feel sorry for your kids, with a sleeping father.
There are loads of other tablets he could take. If he isn't willing to solve this issue, I'd be gone x

 

[Linny1989]

Trust Me I'm so close. Ive had enough. It's not fair on the kids. I'm not bothered bout me I'm used to it n willing to do it on my own but the kids shouldn't have to suffer.

 

[cosmicgirl]

No they shouldn't, and they shouldn't be used to daddy being in bed all day, that's not normal.
Hope he sorts it out x

 

[AyeshaD]

Linny1989 I know how you feel hun, mine is like that. he goes to job half day rather than full day starts at 12 or 1 and finish when at 5.30. dont like sleeping early moans about " not enough time to do stuff " What stuff? I simply dont get men at all. stay awake till 3 or 4 and all morning sleeping, sometimes I want to pour cold water at him and say " Good morning luv I just split it by accident" lol.

 

[Linny1989]

It's literally all day. He went up when my youngest when for a nap at half 10 and is still asleep. He said he would get up when she did but shes now fast asleep in bed.
Im just trying to think of the words to tell him I'm done x

 

[redbear]

Aww hugs hun. I dont know how your coping i know i would hit the roof, im a moody get anyway with him and would be takin the covers and the lot to wake him up. He needs to get to a doctor if he feels that bad and sort his tablets out. He cant use it as an excuse if he isnt willing to change.

dh was made redundant and he got depressed and used to sleep in and not clean but he didnt sleep all day was up when i got home and went looking for work a lot, we didnt have kids though and he had nothing to get up for because i was at work, but if he had a reason he would have got up. So if your OH is more depressed than that he really needs some help. Or if its an excuse a wake up call (no pun intended) xx

 

[russellmuscle]

God. How awful hun.

My OH isn't too bad tbh, but I'm a sleeper. If I could sleep all day I would. But I can't. I have a child. At the weekend I can sleep from like 12pm to like 2pm in the afternoon LOL. But u have to make choices when you have kids. The anti depressants will help him to sleep because that helps destress but maybe the sleeping habbits are a side affect of the drug ? I know some people who take citalopram it knocks them out. Others don't seem to bother.

I'd convince him to go dr's. You can't keep having babies and waiting for him to wake up. I'd go mental. My OH is a light sleeeper thankfully I whack the music on. But roles reversed, if he was to do that on a weekend, I don't care how loud it is. Ill sleep. And I don't take any medication.

I will say tho, the more I sleep the more I'm tired I find, its a viscious circle. I think its called overtired that's what I call it. I could sleep like 10-12 hours and still have a good sleep that night. But sometimes if I sleep for like 5h during the week due to jackson, ill be fine. Its annoying.

xxxxx