Siblings - is it really such a wonderful thing?...

[marshma]

There are 4 years between me and my brother and although we had our rows when we were younger now we are very close, i speak to him every day without fail

 

[spice]

I've always thought I was really lucky with my little brother, he's 2.5 years younger and has learning difficulties,so when we were growing up we would often fight, mainly play fighting though! We've always been really close and I love that he knows im here for him! My OH has exactly the same relationship with his sis, she's 5 years younger but also has learning difficulties and their really close too, even though they live 200 miles apart!

Both my parents are 1 of six, mum is the 3rd born and gets on really well with all of them, even though yet again they live 200 miles away! My dad has 5 half siblings, and except the eldest (who had her first child before he was born,he's the youngest) they all get on really well!

oH and myself have said if we decided we want another we'll wait till flynns at lest 3 before we start trying! x

 

[Lulu_Laroo]

My brother (6 years younger than me) and sister (16 months younger than me) are both like my best friends. We get along great and always have. I definitely want Poppy to have a brother or sister.

 

[AugustMum]

My sisters ace. Theres 2.5 years (almost exactly) between the 2 of us and she's the older one. We didn't get along too well when we were younger and Ive had to be the bigger sister with alot of things and really help her out with alot of things but now were really close. I could never have been without her even when we werent getting on. We go on nights out together and talk on the phone and see each other all the time. In fact Im going on a night away with her on Tuesday and even want her at my next birth

 

[tweetyfoo]

I don't have any kids, but I have two sisters, I get on with my younger sister but we aren't exceptionally close, and I barely get on with my older sister. The three of us are all so different from eachother, but I would walk over hot coals for them.

On the contrary my husband is a triplet, and although a special circumstances, they are all exceptionally close, a closeness I can't understand.

I think everyones different, I wasn't brought up with a sense of family whereas my husband was... its a hard one! But I'm thinking I'll stop at 1, unless of course I end up with triplets!

 

[littlemiss83]

ooooh interesting thread!!

I've always thought that I couldn't possibly share my time between 2 children & to a certain extent thats true. For example when your sitting feeding your newborn & your other LO wants something (especially if they are a toddler) how will you manage, who will you attend to, coz these situations will occur not just daily, but constantly....something to think about. Obviously ppl do manage & it works & even though you'll love both the same, its very true that you will have to share your time & they wont get as much attention if they were only child. I find childhood flys in & im glad I gave my eldest LO 100% attention all of her childhood, I dont think she's missed out on anything tbh as she has lots of friends & clubs & stuff like that & she's very close to other family members around the same age.

Its true what you say, just coz you have siblings doesn't mean they'll defo get on when they're older, its hit & miss really, doesn't matter how close while growing up, they could still grow apart.

I would like a 3rd but Im gonna wait & see how I get on with newborn being a toddler first & maybe have a 3/4 year age gap.

Being broody is no reason to want another (no one on here said that...just saying) its easy to say, oh I fancy another- i miss being pregnant ect, but you could go on like that forever! I defo miss being pregnant.

 

[i.love]

Being broody is no reason to want another (no one on here said that...just saying) its easy to say, oh I fancy another- i miss being pregnant ect, but you could go on like that forever! I defo miss being pregnant.

I'm afraid this could be very true about me... I can't stop thinking about having a second one, but I am not entirely sure what it is I really want - being pg again or actually having a baby after that! Silly, I know.

 

[tinytoes]

Hmm well Im the oldest of a family of five and I am very close to my sisters . I cant imagine not having all of the experiences and adventures my sisters and I have had together or not having the support system my sister and brothers provided each other .
I have two young children close in age and Im happy about that as I can already se my older girl watching out for her sister and caring for her . She happily shares toys and food (although I wish she wouldnt try to feed her baby sister chewed up food ) and coveres her with blankets when they fall off. I can also see how they interact and I am pleased that they have each other .

 

[xxbeckyxx]

I am one of five and hated the two brothers closest to me in age when we were younger, but now I am really close to them. My younger siblings definitely keep me young as well - I feel like I'm still 'in the loop' cos we can chat about stuff that 'grown ups' don't, if that makes sense?
I think having siblings taught me the strength of unconditional love early on in life - there were times when I really didn't like my brothers but I knew I always loved them.
I also grew up in the middle of nowhere - nearest friends were about 3 miles away, so had built in 'people to play with', even if it ended in fights most of the time!
I am definitely planning to give Lizzie siblings

 

[littlemiss83]

Being broody is no reason to want another (no one on here said that...just saying) its easy to say, oh I fancy another- i miss being pregnant ect, but you could go on like that forever! I defo miss being pregnant.

I'm afraid this could be very true about me... I can't stop thinking about having a second one, but I am not entirely sure what it is I really want - being pg again or actually having a baby after that! Silly, I know.

This is what I think too...if for example I have another when LO is 1, what will happen after that baby is born, will it just be the same as this, I cant possibly have 4, dont even know if I defo want 3, if It happened again & I wanted another one straight away, then I might as well have just waited if that makes sense.

 

[i.love]

littlemiss I just hope that after 2 pregnancies I would have had enough.... can't be sure though!

 

[Binzy]

I have a brother who is 2 years younger than me and quite frankly we are chalk and cheese and are only polite for my mum's sake. My OH has a brother who is 8 years older than him and they are really close, he's more like a second dad than a brother though I think.
I still can't imagine having another baby. My pregnancy was relatively easy but these first 3 months have been so hard and emotional for me I don't know if I could face doing it all again. Maybe this will change but at the moment I can't even entertain the idea of another baby.

 

[l_maclean]

My dad is one of 8 and there is a horrendous divide in there family now - he only speaks to one sis. I wouldn't say my bro and I are particularly close, but I'd like to think we'd be there for each other if needed. We've never been the closest at everyday things but always there for the important stuff!

I can honestly say that I have NEVER met an only child (and ive worked with a lot) who wouldn't have benefited (in my opinion) from learning to share, or handle arguements. Yes you have to split ur time/attention but that's life, and I truly believe that children (eventually - a different point for different kids) need to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them - something that seems to have escaped the majority of only children cos for their parents they are the world (as kids should be!)

That's a wee bit of a ramble, but hope it makes sense and doesn't offend anyone too much.

 

[Eilishnbean]

I have one sis who is 15 months younger than me. We are incredibly close - best friends even I really dont know what I'd do with out her, we talk everyday but she lives 2 hours away so only really see each other once a month. We did everything together growing up yes we had our
Moments like every sibling do. She was at the birth of Grace with my oh wouldn't gave had it any other way! Mum is one of 7 and so is dad we are a close family but there are some who don't get on but mum and dad get on with everyone although there were some issues in the past but that's all sorted now. Oh is the youngest of five by around 15 years they get on but three are in oz! I defo want to have another would love for them to be close in age but finances just wouldn't allow that at the moment so I think we are gonna wait till Grace is at school.

 

[Hunnie]

I have one brother and there is a 4 year gap between us. We fought a lot as children but now get on quite well really other than the odd snipe at each other (but I think that comes with living with someone and it gets hard at times). I think once I have moved back in with OH we will get on most of the time and generally keep in touch with what one another is doing through Facebook and talking at home. We talk about most things really and I like to think I've been help when it comes to what's going on in girls minds when he's had difficulties lol and I don't think I will ever really lose contact with him and what hes doing even if it does just end up mainly through Facebook if he emigrates.

OH has 2 older brothers and a sister (brother A then brother B then sister then OH). The sister can be quite spiteful but is only like this because of the relationship between OH and brother B and the fact that an argument between her OHs family and OH and brother B happened a few years ago and things have never been the same. OH and brother B get on like a house on fire and talk to each without fail everyday. All the siblings keep in touch with each other but not as much as what brother B and OH do.

All in all I don't think siblings are a bad thing at all. I'm grateful for the fact I always had someone to play with when we went on holiday and someone to share Christmas with etc. I think being an only child can come across as being very lonely sometimes.

 

[misscrazycooki]

I am one of four, yes at times me and my sisters and brother don't get on or do. But I'm glad I had them around me as I was never bored or lonely.

All I can add is I got pregnant soon after leo was 6 months, I was kind of planning but not preventing thinking it would take another six months but bam it happened. I'm so in love of the idea of having two little people to cuddle and kiss. I am just doing my dream really I wanted to be a mother for so long and got my wish with my partner

I did also miss the feeling of being pregnant but also the tiny little body that you could nurse, cuddle and smile at fast asleep in your arms.

I'm glad that my son will have a small age gap too as hopefully they will bond and be good siblings. x Also I can get all the sleepness nights and nappies out of the way eariler x

 

[i.love]

misscrazycooki thank you so much for your story, it's amazing! I keep thinking about the second one, and you just made this idea sound even more appealing You must be so happy! I know I would be I just need to find some way to justify this to my husband and everybody else who says I should wait a year or two...

 

[l_maclean]

the only person you MIGHT need to justify it to is hubby. lol - everyone else always has an opinon on how long you should wait. Screw them all and do what you want. xxx

 

[i.love]

I know but... They just might be right. I hate to say it but its all about money. The problem is that we don't have a house - we are only renting a tiny flat. I need to get back to work and make some money first... I guess...

 

[Bexybun]

It makes me really sad to read how many people have difficult relationships with their siblings, you poor guys I'm really lucky- I have a sister who is 4 years older than me, and we have the most wonderful relationship. Sure we argue, but on the whole we are as close as could be. I'm also surrounded by positive sibling relationships- my OH and I see his sister and her family roughly 3 times a week (she lives down the road), and he gets on very well with his step-siblings too. My dad is one of 6 and has great relationships with all of them, as does my step-mum with her sister. I'm sorry you haven't had any positive sibling relationships in your life, I hope it doesn't make you too anxious about having more babbas

With regards to when you should have a sibling for you LO, if I may share my opinion- I have a 5 year gap between my daughters, and one of my closest friends has a twelve month gap between her son and daughter, and recently we have been comparing our experiences. As I've told her, I admire her greatly for coping with such young children so close together, but there is no way I personally would choose that- I am sooo thankful Amelia is at school the majority of the day so I can focus my attention on Evelyn, and I would find it far too hard having a 1 year old to deal with too. However, my friend is so happy she had her children when she did, and has said that she would hate such a big gap and would feel like just as she was getting her freedom back, she had to give it up again for a new baby. Everyone has different strengths, so maybe you need to consider what kind of gap you and your OH would cope best with? Hope that helps xxx