Should I go for a planned C section given my 'situation'?

[clucky77]

Bit of a story here sorry...

DH and I are returning to Australia for the birth as our private health insurance covers us in Oz but not London. We also want to be around family etc and have more control over our care there (many reasons)

I am returning 8 weeks before (fligh restrictions), but DH can only get 4-5 weeks off work. This makes natural v difficult- if he comes out 2 weeks before due date, and I am 2 weeks late, then he gets no time with baby before he has to fly back.

So, thinking about going planned C sec as would prevent this. Is this a bad reason to go C sec? My no 1 concern is bub- for me having DH there for birth and a bit after (given our situation) balances out the horrible big operation for me, but I won't compromise for the baby.

The other thing is that I am **** scared of labour and am very small (small pelvis), so havea strong feeling I will be one who ends up having emergency C anyway! Mum did and don't they say it's similar to your Mum???

This is not just 'convenience' as it's actually very important for us to have DH there and is quite a stressful situation. we really don't want him missing the birth.

I have heard recovery from planned C sec is better than emergency.
Any thoughts?

 

[EllieBelle]

Personally I wouldnt.........!!

I am booked for an elective c-section on Fri, although have no choice - as my baby is breech!

The risks with a c-section are so much higher than with a natural delivery (Infection, blood loss, painful scarring, and at least a 6 week recovery time), babies born naturally have many advantages too, and are less likely to have breathing problems, plus the recovery time is much much shorter, and its easier to breastfeed etc and have immediate skin to skin contact - Im told its difficult to actually lift your baby out of its cot for the first 2 days after a c-section due to the major surgery involved!

My husband is only getting a week off work, but we just have to make the most of the time we can! If your hospital in Oz will do elective c-sections then surely they will induce you on your preferred date too?

One last point many many petite ladies on here have had perfectly normal deliveries, and I believe you can have totally different labours and births to that of your mother - mine had a normal delivery with me!!

Ill let you know how I get on, as hoping I recover well!

 

[Charlie:-)]

I personally wouldn't either, it took me a long time to recover from my section after I got an infection, 2 courses of antibiotics later and I was finally on the mend starting to feel better and able to do a little more than sit on the sofa and feed and generally look after my daughter, which was 6 weeks down the line.

I understand your situation and its a tough decision to make but a c-section is a major operation and I wouldn't go down that route again if I had the option.

ETA - Forgot to say I don't think there is much difference between a planned and emergency section apart from well one is planned and the other isn't.

 

[emman24]

Have you read up on the risks of C-sections?? It can also cause risks in future pregnancies, you are more likely to have probs with the placenta & theres a small risk of uterine eruption. Plus you would have to decide whether you wanted to try for a VBAC. Those risks are small and tons of people end up with sections, so it would really be your decision. I would read up on the risks as much as poss.

If you are scared of labour have you thought of going to some classes, I've been doing some stuff on hypnobirthing & its made me feel quite calm about the whole thing. My hospital classes were great too. I'm only 5'1" & was a size 6 when I fell preg so I'm quite small too. My aunt is 4'10" and is tiny, she had 2 normal births. I think in most cases, natural delivery is possible even if you are small.

I understand why you would want to do this as I would struggle if my OH wasn't with me, but I would suggest looking in to all the options. xx

 

[Mik]

I agree with the other ladies in that I personally would not go for a planned section but if you really think it is best for you read up before making a comitted decision.
My hubby is in the army and was away over my due date and for several weeks afterwards with my no.2. He literally only had chance to drive down for the birth (lucky it was 2 in the morning!) and had to get back for 4pm the same day, he is also away now for 5 weeks and will not be able to come back under any circumstances (except death or severe serious illness) so if bubs decides to come before 37 weeks he will miss this one entirely.
What I am trying to say is I know how hard it is not knowing if hubby will be there and not having hubby there afterwards but you will have family round not the same I know but it is better than no support. Speak to the hospital when you get there too they may refuse elective c section but may be happy to induce you if they know the situation.

 

[clucky77]

Thanks for your advice. Yep I have done lots of reading on pros and cons but my list is almost equal for the BABY (not me, obviously). Biggest con for bub is the risk of future asthma/ allergies that is higher with C sec - I have severe of both and don't want bub to end up that way. But then also read C sec is much less traumatic and risky for teh deliver of Bub. So almost seems to balance out for bub.

But for me, obviously cons outweigh pros. Major surgery isn't obviously what I want to do, but i will have a lot of support etc after. Am also fit and healthy. Really if the pros/cons are the same for bub, I think I might go for it.

Anyone have any thoughts of pros/cons for bub?

 

[Sherlock]

I've not had a C section so cannot comment on recovery etc.

But things to consider are that

a) Elective C sections are not available on the NHS for non medical reasons. There are reasons why they don't let women choose to have one for non medical reasons. You being private may have more choice but just because you can doesn't mean you should, is how I look at it.
b) Recovery can take up to 6 weeks and a C section is a major operation. Although because so many are done these days people seem to forget or overlook this.
c) Future births may also end up being C sections and the more you have the higher the risk to each following pregnancy due to wear and tear on your utuerus and the incision etc. Also possible implication for yourself in future. Women can try for VBAC birth after a C section, some are succesful, others not. But the scarring etc can make a natural birth in the future harder. And consider the recovery time in the future if you have one child and then a C section with another etc.
d) Can make attempting breastfeeding, should you choose to do so, harder due to stiches and so on.
e) Possible problems after the op - infection, not healing etc. It does happen.

I personally would not consider a C section unless there was a genuine medical reason or if my Consultant strongly advised for one. I'd go the natural route and if a C section was then needed, of course have one.

I'd also not consider induction to have baby arrive on a certain date as often being induced before baby is ready can also end up in having a C section for one reason or another. But being induded on a certain day once past your due date is something you may wish to consider (if your Doctors allow/agree to this) so your OH can be present. Be aware of what an induction entails and that contractions tend to be straight into strong ones and often IV pain relief is the preffered thing for women being induced. Also there is a higher incidence of 'emergency' C section after an induction (although the term emergency is used, often they are not life and death emergencies, but more due to labour not progressing enough or baby heartbeat being erratic etc). It takes, in NHS hospitals, on average 30-40 minutes to prepare for a C section for a women already in labour. True emergencies can be scrambled together far quicker.

I'd look at your OH coming out 10 days or so before your due date. First babies tend to not be early, sometimes are, but a majority are late to some degree. Then all being well you'll have a bit of time together before your due date and then two weeks after for LO to put in an appearance. Its only a small percentage of babies are well overdue or are not born before 42 weeks. And often overdue inductions are done in the NHS around 7-10 days past 40 weeks so if you had the same in Australia your OH would have a couple of weeks with you and baby.

If you go into labour sooner then your OH can jump on the next available flight to be back asap. Yes he may not be there for the birth, but I think both you and he need to weigh up things very carefully and see how you feel about this, and what effect your decision will have on your body, your baby and once your baby is here, the future. Breastfeeding, bonding, recovery time..... and so much more.

Consider if you want to breastfeed how you would feel if after a C section you were not able to and therefore changed to formula. How would you feel about this for your child and yourself also? If you plan to formula feed then of course this won't be an issue.

What you said about a C section being less traumatic for baby might hold true, but don't forget that babies are designed to be born naturally. Women are designed to birth them. I don't see its traumatic for baby if birth is within normal expectations. Baby will have no memory of it and the things that a vaginal birth may cause (puffy eyes, slight cone head shape) are soon gone. And with regard to birth being easier for baby via C section over possible allergies/asthma for life I know which one would win me over. If it means an increased risk of asthma or allergies for your child for life, is it worth chancing this? Especially if you are very prone. I don't see that as balancing out for baby personally if you consider baby will not remember his/her birth and is designed to cope with being born

The thing is, none of us know how our labours will go. You could have a good birth with no real problems, you could find baby doesn't descend and you'll need help somehow. Its impossible to know. And its natural to be worried and wonder. But often as the time comes, women tend to become more calm and accepting of what is going to happen giving birth and ok about labour beginning and all that follows.

That's my thoughts. Hope they are of some use Good luck with everything.

 

[mary70]

i would NEVER have a section unless i needed one, i might have had a bad experience but it was the worst thing i ever went through in my life and i have had both, i was in labour 36 hours with my son and had loads of stiches but normal delivery and i would take that every time

 

[KERRYGOLD00]

Deleted

 

[valentine]

There's a lot of info above which I will give you a lot to think about. It does sound like you are leaning towards the c-section though.

I would just like to give a bit of a hippy reply and say that unless you have a diagnosed 'fear of childbirth' or a pregnancy/baby condition that means you have to have an elective section or similar, I would never ever give up the opportunity for a natural birth. It is the most enriching positive womanly experience you will ever have and the immense amount of pride you will feel afterwards is overwhelming. Although, I do understand your situation is difficult, I wouldn't give up the chance to experience a natural birth for all the tea in china.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

Valentine Xxx

 

[Magic Monkey]

I didn't have a c-section, but I am very small (5' and a size 6) I gave birth to a 7lb 13 oz baby without a c-section, so I wouldn't assume that you will need one. Also on the mum front, I was only 6lb something at 40 wks and my mum had a 4 hour labour and gave birth with no pain relief or anything. My LO was 2 weeks early, my labour was much longer, I had all the pain relief and a forceps delivery. So, your mum's experience won't necessarily be the same as yours.

I was also terrified of labour but when it came to it, I just kind of got on with it as I had to!

A c-section is major surgery and I would want to avoid that if at all possible. Could you ask to be induced at 41 weeks if LO hasn't arrived, get you DH to come over at 38 weeks and then he would have at least a week with you.

 

[clucky77]

Few responses to above....

I certainly don't feel the 'need' to deliver naturally/ like it defines my woman-hood or anything-unlike a lot of women. I am actually quite worried about natural birth (have seen and heard horror stories!) and have it in my head I'll have an emergerncy C if I try! I guess I don't have the best mentality!

I am also going to consider inducing at 41 weeks, but have read it carries greater risk of emergency C. too much to weigh up!
So, perhaps it's best for DH to come out 2 weeks before bub due, which covers us IF I decide on C section (which I am still 50/50 about), and then if bub is late, try for inducing at 41 weeks (if cervix is ripe etc), which means DH will be there for the birth and a few days after.

I spoke to my Australian MW this morning and they are fine to do elective C. they are very different there and in response to an above post, the main reason you can't opt for it on NHS is COST. So when going privately, my Ob is fine with it (but points out the risks)- the MW was supportive about my situaion ... even said she would go for one these days!

Hmmmmmm, I am right on the fence atm

 

[Batie]

Tricky one!

I think I would try and go natural, make sure DH is out with you as you suggest 10 days or so before you are due, then if baby doesn't arrive within a week of due date go down the induction route ( may be safest as the placenta can break down after 40 weeks).

Yes DH may not have much time with baby if it all happens later than expected, but I think you should try natural - with the support of your DH by your side - you'll be surprised what you will be able to cope with when the time comes.

For the record, I had an emergency c-section, had a wonderful recovery ( felt lots better after 5 days and almost completely normal after 2 weeks). No mucus problems, and despite Baby spending 5 days in neonatal unit she breastfed like a pro.

Anyway hope you make the right decision for you and your family!

 

[x Naomi x]

I had to have an emergency c section at 37 weeks and baby was grunting and cold when she was delivered so i wouldnt ever choose a c section for convenience.

May i add i was also induced and had a 17 hour labour before they went for the c section so i also wouldnt opt for an induction unless it was a medically necessary

I was very unwell after my c section and needed blood transfusions etc and because of that i have no memory of Maceys birth or holding her afterwards which i can never get back, yes the same can happen after a natural birth but why put yourself through the strain of a c section when it may not be needed x

 

[kalia]

My no 1 concern is bub- for me having DH there for birth and a bit after (given our situation) balances out the horrible big operation for me, but I won't compromise for the baby.

Biggest con for bub is the risk of future asthma/ allergies that is higher with C sec - I have severe of both and don't want bub to end up that way.

To be honest I think if you are genuinely putting baby first you will wait until baby is ready to come out. Although it may be true (I haven't a clue personally) that a C section is less traumatic for babies I can't imagine that babies are traumatised for long. My 8 month old doesn't seem traumatised. However, lifelong illness and allergies would be distressing and damaging to their health. I wouldn't want that for my baby.

From reading your post the impression I get is that you are terrified of labour so you are looking for an easier way out and asking for us to encourage you to do that. As you have seen though, we can only encourage you to do what is best for baby if you tell us the baby is your number one priority. I completely understand that and that you want your husband to have as much time with baby as possible. But I don't think it's worth risking your baby's health for, particularly as you are talking about c-section 2 weeks early. Most first babies are late so presumably they need that time. I don't believe that adoptive parents love their children any less than other parents and usually they miss months or years of their children's lives so although a lot of people talk about the importance of bonding ASAP I don't think there is long term affect from that. your baby will grow up loving your husband even if they do spend weeks or months apart to begin with (I'm not clear on when you'd be returning to the UK). I think you'd always wonder if your baby did have severe asthma whether it was because you were impatient and that would make you feel bad Labour is a scary thought but there are drugs to deal with the pain. Personally I'd far rather go through another 55 hours of labour than another 41.5 weeks of pregnancy! And there are not that many only children in the world - most women choose to have another baby.

 

[clucky77]

My no 1 concern is bub- for me having DH there for birth and a bit after (given our situation) balances out the horrible big operation for me, but I won't compromise for the baby.

Biggest con for bub is the risk of future asthma/ allergies that is higher with C sec - I have severe of both and don't want bub to end up that way.

From reading your post the impression I get is that you are terrified of labour so you are looking for an easier way out and asking for us to encourage you to do that.

Yes you are right that the baby should be put first- which will definitely be the case. Although after chatting to my Obs and 2 MW, the pros and coms for baby are pretty similar- less distress in C but risk of breathing, so they almost balance out. For mum is another story as wel all know.

However, as you point out I am terrified of labour - which I am working on and getting professional help for- so I canot agree LESS that I am am looking for an 'easy way out.' I don't think such a thing exists.

 

[Fly]

Having had 2 c-sections now I would say to you to not go elective c-section for the reasons you have stated.
It IS major surgery and I believe is probably more traumatic for a baby than the journey of birth. Put it this way... during a natural delivery a baby makes a journey, has its lungs squeezed clear of mucus, a cycle is completed.
C-sections are pretty barbaric in all honesty. I was totally amazed at how my body was yanked and pulled about - its not just a case of cutting you open and whipping the babby out - they actually birth the baby through the incision so not only will you have a c-section scar to heal from but may also have bruised ribs where they push down to simulate contractions...
You will greatly diminish your chances at having a natural delivery. I would swap my right arm to have been able to deliver one of my babies vaginally. What is best for your baby, assuming there are no other complications and this is just coming down to "convenience", is to wait until your baby is ready to be born....

 

[clucky77]

Again I wish people would read my post and realise its not jsut convenience, it's a MASSIVE issue to have my husband present not a convenience factor. It is that BIG ISSUE +++++++ me being terrified of natural labour.

I am not interested in people's opinions if they only take one section of my post and run with it

 

[Sherlock]

My no 1 concern is bub- for me having DH there for birth and a bit after (given our situation) balances out the horrible big operation for me, but I won't compromise for the baby.

Biggest con for bub is the risk of future asthma/ allergies that is higher with C sec - I have severe of both and don't want bub to end up that way.

From reading your post the impression I get is that you are terrified of labour so you are looking for an easier way out and asking for us to encourage you to do that.

Yes you are right that the baby should be put first- which will definitely be the case. Although after chatting to my Obs and 2 MW, the pros and coms for baby are pretty similar- less distress in C but risk of breathing, so they almost balance out. For mum is another story as wel all know.

However, as you point out I am terrified of labour - which I am working on and getting professional help for- so I canot agree LESS that I am am looking for an 'easy way out.' I don't think such a thing exists.

I think one thing you should know is that at least for me personally as the time of my LO's birth drew nearer I became far more calm and rational about giving birth. I'd carried him for almost 9 months by that point and while I wasn't terrified of giving birth I of course had worries. I opted for a homebirth as I believed that I'd be more relaxed and calm in a setting I knew and trusted and also really didn't wish for medical intervetntion unless there was an absolute medical need.

A few days before I went into latent labour a strange sense of calm and peace came over me. I just felt so ready to meet my baby and knew that the way to do that was by giving birth. Yes if things had happened that meant transferring to hospital and needing medical intervention, well, it goes without saying, but otherwise I was fine with what was to come for my body. Labour was hard work, no denying that but it was a great experience, not a terrible one and it was nowhere near as 'bad' (for want of a word) as I had thought it might be. I was able to bond with my baby straight away as he was put on my chest for skin on skin and he stayed there. I was able to start breastfeeding soon after.

The two latter things I mention above you won't get in a C section. And those first moments are invaluable to baby and mother I believe. Of course some Mums need a C section and so don't have this, but its a thing that given anything I'd not want to pass up unless I *had* to.

I do think what you say about stress to baby in delivery and being less stressed in C section is not outweighed by the possible future long term health problems your child might develop due to a C section. To me whichever way I look at it that does not 'balance out'. Sorry. That is not me atacking you, just an honest opinion. As I've said elsewhere baby is designed to be born. If a labour goes well then babys heartrate will remain regular and you'll know your baby is ok. Heartbeat does alter around the time of a contraction but will then settle. My LO was 11 hours coming out and not once in that time was he ever in distress and his HB was monitored every 15 minutes.

I think its great you are getting help for your worries and I hope you are able to overcome them and find good balance. I personally feel that would be trying for a natural birth and using whatever pain relief you feel you need (along with things like remaining mobile, not lying down to push, maybe using a birthpool and relaxation techniques etc).

 

[beanie]

I have nothing more to add other to what other people have said as they have said it perfectly. All I will add is that there is a section called announce your new arrival, and there are some amazing birth stories there. Some may be quite tough, others are straightforward but the vast majority of the mums who wrote them are either planing their second/third etc or had their next children. I found everyone wanted to tell me all their horror stories when I was pregnant, but I am a great believer in the power of the mind and decided to just read stories (not just of straightforward births) written by positively minded women. I love labour and birth yet I was so scared of it when first pregnant.