she was my baby!!!! (Big rant sorry)

[p1nk11]

For the last 2 days I have been finding things really hard & myself getting really angry at everything even stupid things but tonight I nearly lost it! I won't go into it because it will take me an hour to try & type it but basically I feel like others are trying to make it about them when she was my little girl, my daughter, my fairy. I understand that other family members miss her to but it just makes me feel so angry sometimes - & now I sound selfish dont I I just want to scream sometimes 'its between me & OH' but I cant. I'm fed up of being told 'I know how you feel, I feel the same' - no you dont!!!!

I'm sure the fact that I'm still waiting for period to arrive is making my mood worse
Sorry just me, just need to go off on one sometimes but have no-one to shout at.

xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

 

[Laura_C]

 

[Princess81]

loads of for you hun. Rant away xxx

 

[karson x]

no one knows how u feel wee all take thinks differently your a stronger person than me hun i would have flipped at them by now xxx

 

[Mummy2Adam]

Sending you massive x x

 

[Kezzamunster]

We are all here for you hun, rant as much as you need to

xxx

 

[Rowesb]

no one can take your girl away from you. I had the same problem after I miscarried. I just had to block them out whole I tried to heal a bit so I could then manage them xx

 

[p1nk11]

Thank you its so nice to know I can let it out on here I really think I would go mad otherwise. Still don't seem to be feeling any better today - I thought I was doing ok last week but seem to have taken about 100 steps back xx

 

[Laura_C]

Oh sweetie, people really just don't think before they speak/act! I had a difficult day yesterday, finally got around to organising Ethan's memorial stone. It was bloody hard, I cried most of the way through the appt. It's also costing a fortune, but I'm not having my boys grave looking empty and like no one cares for him. I had to speak to the cemetery as the earth on his grave had collapsed and there was a massive gaping hole when I visited last week. It frightened me! They are going to sort it but I feel I shouldn't have to prompt them to look after the grounds - what they are paid for.

I am stuck in grief at the moment as as you know my husband has suffered a nervous breakdown an I am having to care for him also. I am keeping everyone around me happy but when do I get to grieve?! I carried that boy in my tummy, felt him kick, gave birth, watched him deteriorate in NICU and watched him die in my arms I had to cope with my hubby telling me he would rather die and be with Ethan than be here with me and his daughter that was hard to swallow.

People grieve in very different ways an it's probably not their intention to hurt you but I know it hurts. Ava is and will always be your little fairy - no one can take that away from you xxxxxx

 

[XHopefulX]

Big hugs hun, thinking of you x

 

[JJ Mum]

Sending you a wonderful cuddle today hun, don't worry about taking steps back, your doing just fine, no-one else can fully expect to understand just how your feeling or how you are coping with this XX

 

[LoopyLouize]

Big Hugs xxx

 

[hayels]

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[heartbroken]

..Were all here to listen hun, so rant all you want. It can be very annoying when someone tells you they know how you feel. Until they have gone through the same loss then then dont know how you feel. The only thing they can do is offer support. I got told to get over it by my sister (we havnt talked in a year and will nerver speak again). But i hope your pain eases a little in the days to come.

Laura_c im so sorry to hear about your husband. My OH always tells me he wishes he was dead and with our baby. You need to find time for yourself to grieve hunni and think about yourself. My babys grave was the same it caved right in and i was so afraid i would be able to see right down. It was like that for a few days but then they put more muck onto it.

 

[Princess81]

..Were all here to listen hun, so rant all you want. It can be very annoying when someone tells you they know how you feel. Until they have gone through the same loss then then dont know how you feel. The only thing they can do is offer support. I got told to get over it by my sister (we havnt talked in a year and will nerver speak again). But i hope your pain eases a little in the days to come.


OMG I can't believe your sister told you to get over it how awful. I truely think people cannot even begin to contemplate your pain unless they have been in the exact position that you are in. Also, as everyone is different, no on is in a position to know exactly how anyone else deals with a situation.

People should allow you to grieve in your own way, yes it is very important that you are a support network for each other but every person needs their grieving time.

I'm so sorry for all you ladies who have lost something so precious to you xxx

 

[Binzy]

I'm so sorry for you ladies, I've never been through anything like this but rant as much as you like. Write reams and reams if you like, there's always someone listening to you who isn't going to judge you but just want to offer you support even if it is "just" over the computer.

xxx

 

[flexilexi394]

ive not met you but I can yell you're a strong person. Lifes a proper bitch, and to everyone that has lost a baby it is one of the hardest things anyone would have to go through. I can't imagine it. I really do know how lucky some of us are and fully appreciate that others aren't so lucky, and im not going to pretend I know how it feels at all. Keep strong ladies. And you'll come out better the other side. You're all incredible people to be able to talk about it. I think that helps sometimes even if it is online, which I love! Xxxx

 

[Butterflykisses]

Really don't know what to say as haven't been around for your ordeal but didn't want to read and run. Sending you loads of

 

[p1nk11]

heartbroken - I cant believe that some people can be so thoughtless some times, especially family.

Laura - You are an incredibly strong person, most people would of given up with everything that has happened to you. You should be so proud of yourself - honestly xxxxxx