She really is a handful

[Wobbles]

Pippa * aidans mummy not a problem at all I don't get huffy when people join in my threads for their own advice - I know people can though

JJ mum - thanks your post was real helpful and if anything makes me feel normal!

Well step my situation up a notch Caitlins just too a fit the whole way to nursery! Embarrassed much shes done it but mildly especially compared to a minute ago and to top it off she fell over because of it grazing all her knees!

MM - Told you ...super nanny haha x

 

[Aidans Mummy]

He he. Wobbles MM should have her own show

MM- Tbh I don't know how to react. I usually just keep on telling him it hurst and if he keeps on laughing just leave him. But then I guess he just gets away with it so I am really not solving the problem. I've tried teh naughty step and he does saty on but now he has recently started putting himself on it and laughing when being told off. He is a right little monkey and he knows how to get round me
xx

 

[Wobbles]

I say we just string the little shits up

Should I edit that in a bit haha

 

[Mervs Mum]

I'm with ya!

 

[Mervs Mum]

He he. Wobbles MM should have her own show

MM- Tbh I don't know how to react. I usually just keep on telling him it hurst and if he keeps on laughing just leave him. But then I guess he just gets away with it so I am really not solving the problem. I've tried teh naughty step and he does saty on but now he has recently started putting himself on it and laughing when being told off. He is a right little monkey and he knows how to get round me
xx

There it is in a nut shell chick

 

[Mamafy]

I say we just string the little shits up

Should I edit that in a bit haha

 

[mummynmummy2b]

I agree with stringing them up. lol. Had one of those mornings today. Put my LO down for a nap and happened to switch onto Nanny 911 and sat there in tears for half an hour thinking that is what my little angel is turning into!! Really dont know how to deal with it as he's only 20 months and really doesnt understand when I try and stop him doing things. I do the whole explaining thing rather than just saying 'no' but he either screams or laughs and just does it over and over and over again!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

 

[Aidans Mummy]

Looks like me and little man are going to be a battle of the wills. I might have to start getting tougher. But when I tell him off for hitting me in public people give me funny looks as if to say he is only a baby. But he defianlty knows what he is doing is wrong because he will hide his face etc

Wobbles yerp just edit that into the last bit
xx

 

[Wobbles]

Honestly this morning we got 2/3 there with this and I'd had enough I got down to her level gritting my teeth but low toned and said to her "look young lady at home is one thing but NOT outside Mummy simply won't have it so please *grit* get on your buggyboard NOW or me and you are going to fall out, got it, yes, good" *plonk*



She still had the tears until the end but we got there a little quieter!

 

[Mamafy]

It's so draining, my madam was whingy today I blame it on tiredness

Is Caitlin ok in a buggy? Will she go into one I mean?

 

[Wobbles]

Yer but I don't have a double! Couldn't get it past the other 2 prams Anyway I have to admit I wasn't keen on the you2 ...it was too pink or I don't think I'd have got rid. x

 

[Mamafy]

Those double maclarens look ace

 

[Aidans Mummy]

Wobbles how can you push a double pram I remember pushing my newphew and niece in one up a hill it nearly killed me
xx

 

[JJ Mum]

She will not be ground down, she will sit on that naughty step (yes at age 8) and she will sit there, and sit there, will she apologise? .....NO, thats not in her nature.

Dont take this the wrong way JJ, but if I were using a naughty step then she simply wouldnt come off till she apologised. If you are letting her off the step before she complies then she won! She wouldnt be ground down because she knows you WILL be. I would sit her there for hours if needs be waiting for the apology. Calmly going about my business, putting her back there if she moved, being consistent and seeing it through to the end. I know this is easy for me to say because it's not me in your shoes but the bottom line is, she didnt apologise and if that's what you wanted from her, she got the upper hand....and she knows it so when it's a battle of wits she know she just has to hang in there long enough.

Oh sorry Mervs mum , prob didn't write it the right way, yeah I make here stay - she just sits there all day long, making as muoch noise as she likes! I go in the kitchen, can't go to far or she runs upstairs when your not looking!!! (girls !!!) she doesn't seem to learn anything from it, but doesn't gain either !!

 

[FebMum2Be]

Are you all trying to say my little smiling bundle of joy isn't going to stay this way? Haha if only.. Some great advice here! Will definitely be taking it all on board for when Odhrán is a little menace.. My sisters having a rough time with my nephew at the moment.. All in the middle of potty training.. Will defo pass this info on to her, thanks girls xx

 

[PippaJ]

I say we just string the little shits up

Should I edit that in a bit haha

Wobbles you make me laugh!!

 

[PippaJ]

She will not be ground down, she will sit on that naughty step (yes at age 8) and she will sit there, and sit there, will she apologise? .....NO, thats not in her nature.

Dont take this the wrong way JJ, but if I were using a naughty step then she simply wouldnt come off till she apologised. If you are letting her off the step before she complies then she won! She wouldnt be ground down because she knows you WILL be. I would sit her there for hours if needs be waiting for the apology. Calmly going about my business, putting her back there if she moved, being consistent and seeing it through to the end. I know this is easy for me to say because it's not me in your shoes but the bottom line is, she didnt apologise and if that's what you wanted from her, she got the upper hand....and she knows it so when it's a battle of wits she know she just has to hang in there long enough.


Pippa - Hebe is 19 months just and I try not to use the word 'no'. I explain EVERYTHING. I want her to make her own concious decision not to do something because she knows it's not a good idea because it's dangerous or what ever - not because mummy says so. I want her to have her own internal dialogue, how ever simple, and reach the right conclusion on her own. I believe in time you can say 'look dont do that because I say so' but I think that comes many years down the line - more like 15 years than months!
I can say that to my eldest because she is old enough to truly have the internal dialogue on everything she does.
So I would explain why, even at this young age, you dont want her to do something. Keep your cool as youve said you do and explain. You might not think at this early age they understand but they do. I dont move ornaments or have a fire guard etc. I've repeatedly ask her not to do things and at first I wondered if it was going in but it does. My MIL thought I was nuts when I told her I didnt want her saying no. She said they need to learn no means no. That's not my approach. I because I dont yell no (or anything else for that matter!) at her, she's not learned to do that back to me. I have used the word no but only if she was in serious danger. That's the basis for everything I do with her. Not sure if that helps or I just rambled a lot

It's very interesting what you say. You have a very calm approach to it all. I was thinking about whether I could go a day without saying 'no' and I'm not sure I could! We have had to move all the breakable things in the house etc because she messes, so I've had the idea to put one thing back in it's place, that wont hurt her if she got hold of it, and to try and explain and talk to her rather than say 'no' when she touches it. Not sure whether I'll get through but I've got to start somewhere. Thank you for the advice, think I needed to hear the 'no means no' doesn't really work with a 15 month old. I really don't know what I'm doing half the time but I know one thing that it's all about staying in control and I'm determined to try my best

 

[PippaJ]

MM

A question from me sorry

How would you handel smacking, biting etc. On a few occasions now I have been down at Aidan's level whilst explaining to him why I am not happy with his behaviour and he just smacks me in teh face or bites my wrist AND then giggles. When I try to tell him thats not nice it hurts. He just laugh and refuses to look at me making funny faces

ETA- Sorry wobbles
xx

Evie does this on occasion too. She'll lash out and hit one of us, but I know by her face that she knows it's naughty and she will also hide her face. We place her on the floor, don't look at her and walk away. If she trys to get our attention we try not to make eye contact. The last time she did it she came up to me and gave me a cuddle all on her own and she's not done it since. I've no idea if we're doing the right thing but it seems to work. I'd be so upset if she did this to someone else or at nursery so it's something I want to nip in the bud fast!!

 

[PippaJ]

Hi wobbles, it all sounds completely normal to me, and was nothing you did or didn't do, so don't worry

I have two sons and 1 daughter, and fair play to you having two daugthers, they are truely a special case compared to sons!

I.f it makes you feel any better , my one is now 8 and doesn't go a day without screemign the house down , in public or yes still dropping to the floor in a supermarket(just does it with more style).
We have to deal with her with a zero tolerance type attitude or she is soo bolshy she would walk all over us and get even worse, so does this zero tolerance get us anywhere..... NO but nor does it get her anywhere. She will not be ground down, she will sit on that naughty step (yes at age 8) and she will sit there, and sit there, will she apologise? .....NO, thats not in her nature.

But do you know thijs last year I have realised that under there this is a sweet girl, that actually has low confidence and self esteem, and is dying to be loved all the time, so there must be something in that that's casuing this behavior.

Anyway, I will stop rambling about me, just wanted to show you, you are sooo not alone, and girls are a nightmare, you have two!

I would say , try to ignore the bad behavior, using the naughty step to exclude, but leave it at that, then reward even the smallest of good behaviors a one will lead to another once you have started.
as free prizes - try to give more control to her life,even at age 2. if she is good at breakfast - offer two choices of clothes that you have chozen, that way you win and she thinks wow I'm a big girl and yet you still have control really. Offer two time with mum activites, playdough, painting etc , get her cleaning with you when little ones asleep, she will love it, Briony loves to help me and feel big and useful.

just an idea from a mum who is still trying to find the right way to deal with her handfull, it's just finding a way that works for you and caitlyn

Perhaps she will not need to asert herself in such extreme ways if she feels more in control, just an idea - oh and mine will actually jump through hoops for a star chart!!! I think it was tesco or Smiths do a lovely magnetic one that can hang on the fridge, with spac to choose your own reward.

Why do you think girls are harder to handle than boys JJ?

 

[Mervs Mum]

Pippa - It is really hard at first not saying the word 'no' but you get used to it. I will say 'Please dont touch that Hebe it's dangerous and will hurt you' and I do it in a stern voice. I think when you say you dont use the word 'no' some people think you're being soft but that's not the case at all. You can be just as firm AND explain things. I try not to raise my voice but there are times when you will need to but save it so it has real effect - that way they dont just see yelling as just something mummy/daddy does all the time to spoil my fun - there's a reason. I really raised my voice when Hebe bit Sid and she sobbed because she knew it was mega serious. I still managed not to say 'no'.