Secret wedding!!!

[Colleen1988]

So me and my oh are getting married in January, just me, my oh our beautiful baby boy and our mums as witnesses! it's not a secret to family and close friends but we're not having them there with us! We have saved £10000 for a wedding and then we had our son 11 weeks ago and decided we can't justify spending that money on a flashy wedding when we could be spending it on our family home, our baby boy, family holidays! We decided that we don't need a flashy wedding just to say I do and we couldn't be more excited!

(We did spend a small fortune on a our rings though, gota have something if I'm not getting the dress lol)

Just wondering if anybody else has ever done this?

Obviously every girl wants her big dream wedding but since isaac came along my priorities have totally changed and I just feel sick at the thought of spending £10000 on a wedding and basically for all our guests to eat and party for one day/night when we could spend the money on creating a better life for our son! We're putting £3000 in his bank account! £2000 on his first holiday and £5000 towards the deposit for our home!

Some family members think we're being a bit selfish but the most important family members ie mums, grandparents, siblings all love the idea. What do others think? I'm just curious xxx

 

[Staco]

Personally I think it's a fab idea, exactly the wedding I'm hoping for myself - no fuss or trying to please everyone else. Good luck, congrats and enjoy YOUR special day xx

 

[Goat]

We didn't do this and spent so much money on our wedding and I loved it however I do wish we'd got pregnant first as there's no way I would've spent so much money on the wedding. I would've done exactly the same as you're doing so I think it's a fab idea!

 

[Colleen1988]

Ive always been one to do things differently and now ive done it again lol... We have £10000 sitting there and we still need to buy a house lol, we will never be able to save that kind of money again now we have our LO so I just can't spend it on one day... I absolutely love big beaitiful weddings and if isaac wasn't here Id be having one myself but I realise now that it doesn't matter how much money you spend oR how big your dress is, im going to have a husband and im going to be a wife ahhhhh im so excited! xxx

 

[El1en]

Aw fantastic idea! Congrats!

This is just what I want to do. I've always wanted something quite low key, we used to talk about going abroad but now I think we'll just nip to Gretna green or something.

We recently had our little lady christened and on the day a few people said they thought it was going to be a surprise wedding which afterwards i did think we should have just done that and then continued with the low key after do we had planned for the christening

At one point we had lots of money saved but my oh put it into his new business so we are starting again. Don't let anyone tell you your being selfish, it's your day! Good luck

 

[Orion]

Sounds like a good idea to me. It's yoyr day, you should have it the way you want it - not your family and friends.

But if you do want a more traditional wedding day, it doesn't have to cost the earth. Mine didn't. Have an afternoon wedding on a weekday, speeches over tea/coffee and wedding cake, toast with sparkling wine, then a bit of a buffet and dj evening. You could still keep it small for the wedding with just family, then invite friends for the evening.

 

[kumber]

That's a lovely idea!

 

[heatheror12]

I totally agree with you. We got married before I had my son. Well I was 8 weeks preg when I got married. But everythin was paid. We spent quite alot. And it was a fab day. But since iv had my sons I deffo could not justify spending all that money on a wedding !! And the amount of people that moaned about who we was and wasn't inviting to the day was unreal. U will have a great day. Only people you need to make happy is yourselves xx

 

[CARNAT22]

We're going one better and not getting married at all !!!

X

 

[Colleen1988]

Thanks everyone, im so excited xxx

 

[Baby2sky]

We had a small registry office wedding. It still caused trouble as people expected to be invited but weren't. Cant win really so do what will make you and oh happy! Its so exciting getting married whether big or small and winter weddings are the best! Bet you cant wait x

 

[Browneyed Girl]

As someone who spent £14k on her wedding only to split up 18 months later (he left me), I completely agree that spending thousands on pounds on a day is madness and I wouldn't do it again. There's so many other things you could do with that money so I would do the same as you xx

 

[Lucyboo]

Sounds great, we went to Gretna green with 13 family members, cost us £1.5k with my dress, suits, bridesmaid, flowers, 3 course meals, decorations, cake, bargain considering we had a deposit on a posh venue, we changed our plans as the money originally went in the IVF which we never completed. We had a party at the local footy club when we got home for about £500 in total.

 

[Lucyboo]

Ellen... Gretna is amazing so beautiful xx

 

[tinselcat]

Err.... why on earth are people saying you are being selfish??!!!!

It's your wedding, have the one you want.

Don't fork out to please other people!!

At the end of the day it's a celebration of your love with the people you want there most. There's enough "big" weddings for people to go to if they need a fix! And if they're not happy for you then, well, surely that answers the question of whether you'd want them there in the first place?!

I think it's a lovely idea xxxx

 

[ShowingPromise]

Congratulations! If it's what you want to do then it's the right choice, a home and a great start for your lo are more important than a big wedding.
We had a big wedding and I adored every second but if our circumstances had been different then we would have kept it small.
If you wanted to, you could always have a blessing celebration in a few years

Either way, it's who you're marrying that's important, not what you're spending on it!

Hope you have an amazing day x

 

[babyslog]

I think the only way we will get married is doing it the way you are!

I agree now that ive had my lb and pregnant again, we would much rather save towards a deposit for a mortgage then waste it on one day! X

 

[Miss_impatient]

Eeeek congratulations Colleen!

I never understand other people's opinions on YOUR wedding day. The most important thing is that you end up married to the person you love at the end of the day. Anyway, if you can't be selfish on your wedding day when can you be! When it comes to weddings my mantra is do what the bride and groom wants!

 

[Colleen1988]

Aww thanks for all your lovely words ladies xxx

 

[Eryinera]

Do what you want. And nothing else. Im having 2 weddings a year apart the first is costing me around about £800 all in dress rings food and ceremony. It's small only parents and a few close close friends. Then one a year later is bigger and more of a coming out ceremony I have a large catholic family and I'm pagan so I'm inviting all my church goers to a handfasting which will be interesting but it's something I've been dreaming of. basically I'm hiring a field and a party marquee I'm still hoping not to spend too much but I do already have a house and a fairly decent job I'm just a tight arse lol and I hate forking out. I dream of being a teacher teaching maths in a secondary school ideally to kids who hate maths call me crazy but I really want to reach out to that group. However I begrudge having to spend so much to train to be a teacher and I can't justify it. Do what you want and then you will have no regrets if you really want to in the future when you feel more financially secure you can have that big wedding as a renewal of your vows.