only child?

[GBLiz]

thanks for all your replies, its good to hear from some only-children because i dont know any to ask how it felt!

Even though i had such an easy pregnancy and birth and Anjali is an easy baby ..the thought of doing it again makes me shudder!!!!

i guess i'll wait and see if my preferences change...but for now its just the 3 of us

 

[DebbieM]

I definitely want one more but don't think it is bad to only have one. I think they may get a little lonely but not everyone wants or can have more than one baby.

 

[leckershell]

I have a younger brother and he annoyed the hell outta me tbh... we never were really that close - our age gap was 3 and a half years.

We are probably sticking with one. We've been talking about it recently and are happy with the unit we have. I'm not planning on making a playmate for him - that's what friends are for, so as long as I keep in touch with other mummies, I think he'll be just fine.

 

[Jade&Evie]

I was an only child til I was 11- by which time I had already developed brattish behaviour!

I always had friends over but at the same time I was quite happy to entertain myself!

My OH is one of 5 boys and he's more brattish than me!

I don't really want anymore children- by the time we would be able to afford it Evie will be at school and I want to give her my full attention. If we had another baby we couldn't afford for her to be quite so spoilt and IMO that's what children are for! I was spoilt rotten by my mum and dad but always taught to know how lucky I was.

Then again Liz, if I knew I'd snap back into shape as fast as you have I might think otherwise!

 

[Kimbo]

im an only child, and i never missed out on anything
and i can pretty much guarantee that leah will be an only child!

 

[Hypnorm]

It is in no way selfish to have just one child.
I was an only child and i think i grew up well rounded the only down side i have is that i am quite shy.

I was told by one woman about a month ago that i was Selfish to only have the one child and should have had another by now!!
I was so gob smacked i couldnt think of a reply but had she known that we had been trying for No 2 for over two years and am currently being treated for a prolactinoma that is making me infertile! i think she would have felt quite bad.

 

[Princess_Puddles]

In my own personal opinion I think having an only child is selfish but I'm one to think like 'What if'
My Mum is an only child and so many times she has said to me she wishes she had a brother or sister and sometimes it upsets her not only because my Grandparents have been quite ill recently (1 after the other) and its her who has to look after them as well as her own family, she doesn't have any nieces or nephews, a brother or sister to look out for her when she needs someone to talk to, to share experiences with etc...
I have 4 sisters and 3 brothers and I love it, I think the feeling to have a brother and sister is fantastic.

 

[Kimbo]

i dont think its selfish.. i want leah to get all my attention and to spoil her rotten

 

[NickyB]

I am an only child, it's definitely not put me off if we were only able to have one. I don't feel like I've missed out (you can't tell what you've missed though can you?) but I don't think I'm missing any of the key skills or traits people with siblings have and I have two SIL's now who more than make up for it.

I definitely do not think it's selfish, it's entirely your decision

 

[NickyB]

It is in no way selfish to have just one child.
I was an only child and i think i grew up well rounded the only down side i have is that i am quite shy.

I was told by one woman about a month ago that i was Selfish to only have the one child and should have had another by now!!
I was so gob smacked i couldnt think of a reply but had she known that we had been trying for No 2 for over two years and am currently being treated for a prolactinoma that is making me infertile! i think she would have felt quite bad.

I would've made her feel quite bad if I were you! That's so mean

 

[Princess_Puddles]

It is in no way selfish to have just one child.
I was an only child and i think i grew up well rounded the only down side i have is that i am quite shy.

I was told by one woman about a month ago that i was Selfish to only have the one child and should have had another by now!!
I was so gob smacked i couldnt think of a reply but had she known that we had been trying for No 2 for over two years and am currently being treated for a prolactinoma that is making me infertile! i think she would have felt quite bad.

I would've made her feel quite bad if I were you! That's so mean

I agree, thats a terrible thing to say! We're all entitled to our own opinion but some are best kept to themselves esp when its not asked for

 

[Becky]

I don't think its selfish at all! Once Lucy turned 2 we started getting comments about it being time we had a brother or sister for Lucy but to be frank we weren't quite ready.

When we had Lucy I couldn't imagine having another for a long time but obviously that has changed now. I wasn't sure how she would be about a baby but so far she has reacted very well and talks about it with happiness about changing baby's nappy and about it growing in my tummy.

I really think it comes down to you as a couple and your circumstances, there is no right or wrong, just what suits you best.


Oh and I'm one of 3 and OH is one of 2. I'd have another after this, he'd prefer just 2.

 

[Jen & Her Men]

I was an only child for 10 years before mum remarried and had my 2 brothers who are 10 and 15 years younger than me.

I have to say i was v lonely as an only child and was soooo excited when mum told me i was gonna be a big sister.
The only problem was ther was SUCH a big age gap that i ended up being more of a second mum than a big sister.

As a result of my experience I want 3 kids and all close together so they have siblings to play with and learn how to share and even that arguing aint such a big deal and its good to have differences but to work them out. It took me a while to get that as I was on my own for so long....

BUT if I had stayed an only child i dont think i would have had a poorer quality of life or anything. Its up to the parents at the end of the day. I think as long as you understand that as a parent of an only child, you will have to make more of an effort to ensure your child has company from other children i.e. lots of playdates etc, I dont think it matters too much.

 

[Red_Fairy]

tbh, you can do no right lol. ive got too very close, and get the 'oh my god - 'you must be glutten for punishment' etc.

I only ever planned to have one, now i have two im happy obviously, but its very hard work at the moment, people keep telling me tho that it'll be sooooooooooooooooo much easier when they are older as they will have eachother, entertain eachother etc.

Im not close to either of my sisters (one with a 14 year gap older and the other is 4 years younger)
my younger, we were very close when kids, but not at all sinse adults..
i dont think she was nesserry in my 'development' in anyway shape or form.


i have mixed feelings lol.

 

[Krystal]

I'm an only child and so is my OH (I do have 2 bro's & sis's but through my dad and not a lot of contact) we both have the view that we want more than one child. I don't think it's selfish to have an only child. You have to do whats right for you. At times it was lonely growing up and both me and OH would have loved brothers and sisters. Luckily we both come from big families so always had company. I think it's important if you do have an only child you encourage interaction with other children as much as possible.