Scared.

[deshulina]

Hi, girls.I am posting this because I need your help as moms and moms to be more than ever.Only few day ago I found out I am pregnant, I am 19 and I live in the uk with my fiancée.I still haven't been to college and I am working as a waitress at the moment.We have our own place and he wants me to keep the baby.I don't want you to think how selfish I am, I do as well want to keep my baby,but I not the right time,I am very scared.Bout of our parents are against it because we are too young (he is 21), my friends are still at school and I have no experience and I am alone and scared.I don't know what to do please tell me how will you act in my situation.

P.s I am sorry for posting here if this is not the right section.

 

[leannesxb]

i didn't have my first in a good situation I was 20, own my own, a barmaid and living in my mates house but I managed well and adore my son even as a 13 year old grotty teenager! lol. People fought long and hard for it to be your right to chose! I can't give you advice what to do but I think you should think long and hard about it. It is a huge decision that you need to make as a couple. Ignore the family regardless of their opinions they would love the baby if you decided to keep it. Things don't always have to be perfect! xx

 

[nikki8092]

You need to decide whats best for you hun, as leannesxb says you should ignore everyone else and have a sit down and talk with your OH. Sometimes these things work out and sometimes its just not the right time. No one can decide for you and at the end of the day you are going to be the one bringing baby up. xx

 

[BabyBrain]

You and your fiance made the baby and any decisions about it are yours to make. I'm 34 my bf is 39 and we are STILL not classed as being old enough to have this baby by my mum.
What you need to remember, and what you will realise when you have kids, is that in the eyes of our parents we never ever grow up. I was arguing with my mum once and asked her how old she thought I was and she said 4 .
You make the decision that is right for you and your fiance xxxxxxxxxx

 

[kaytee11]

Hey

I was in you position not even a week ago. Im 8 weeks along now & decided at 23 i couldnt bring a baby into the world whos dad (my boyfriend) was going to be away until february so i had a termination booked but i couldnt even manage to go down the hall and my best friend was like okay lets just run out & leave so we did .. I think deep down i booked it be cause i was so unsure i needed to know that a termination is not what i wanted.

I know you want to go o college & feel more secure but i had 3 friends in college who fell pregnant all in different years and they graduated fine. Some just took a year out & then went back. Colleges are so much more accomodating to students having babies and young children now compared to years ago.

None of us can make ur decision for you but i just think you need to sit with yourself first and go through your own thoughts weighing up everything on a piece of paper and when u have your thoughts decided on then you will find it easier to talk with your fiancé. Its your choice at the end of the day and no one should be juding any decision you make.

If you need any help dont hesitate

xx

 

[deshulina]

Thank you very much for your quick answers,I feel much better now when I know I have someone to talk to and to understand me.I know it's up to me to decide but it's so hard.I had too cysts on my left ovary and I am scared to make an abortion because I don't know how it will turn out to be and will it affect me latter.I will be thinking all night as a did yesterday but thank you very much for he support xxxxxx

 

[kaytee11]

Darlin you'll wake up one morning or ul be walking down the street and ul just be like bam this is what im gonna do

At the end of the day theres a gut feling there somewhere fighting to com out whether its to carry on with the pregnancy or not .. the gut feeling will help you out at some stage. If im being honest im still thinking what the hell am i getting myself into but iv seen people i know raise their babies in circumstances worse than mine.

Yeah i dont have the house the job the dog and the white picket fence but in fairness ... who does ???

xxx

 

[kaytee11]

Darlin you'll wake up one morning or ul be walking down the street and ul just be like bam this is what im gonna do

At the end of the day theres a gut feling there somewhere fighting to com out whether its to carry on with the pregnancy or not .. the gut feeling will help you out at some stage. If im being honest im still thinking what the hell am i getting myself into but iv seen people i know raise their babies in circumstances worse than mine.

Yeah i dont have the house the job the dog and the white picket fence but in fairness ... who does ???

xxx

 

[RAS]

My sister was in a similar situation but was about three years younger than you when she got pregnant. She had the baby went to college and now she is a qualified accountant with a good job. At the end of the day, the choice is yours, don't let anyone make your mind up for you.

 

[suzzi]

its your decision hun, dont let parents friends anyone tell you what to do, you need to decide yourself,

ask yourself some questions, is your relationship strong, would you have support from family if you did have baby, how would you manage financially, is it something you have thought about for future, what would having baby change for you,

there is no right or wrong answer babe x just a choice that you and only you can make.

 

[lisey27]

Hiya,

I just wanted to say that being young doesnt mean that you will be less of a great mum than someone that is older.
I was 18 when I had my son, I was concerned about telling my family and parents but they were all very supportive. And having a baby these days doesn't stop you from being able to achieve, to go to college and live a good life. I continued with college, I work and am studying again now for a higher qualification.
This is just my personal experience but thought it might help in some way xx

 

[BellaRiven]

There are so many emotions that are surrounding you at the moment and all of them are justified.

I was in your position when I was your age and I was not ready to have a baby but of that I was sure, so yes I did abort the fetus, it was the hardest decision I have ever had to make and een to this day sometimes I think about it and ..I don;t want to say regret, because I don't because it was the right decision at the time, but I do think about it.

I am now 31 and I am more than ready to be a mum and fortunately I am going to be.

There is noone else that can make this decision for you, only you can, not even your other half.

If you need to chat just PM me and I will happily listen

 

[1986princess]

just take the time to think about what YOU really want, sod everyone else! i dont thin k if it came down to it theres never a right time to have a baby and everyone always manages in the end, its what u make of it! Im sure given time ur family will come round and they do alot more in collleges now to support parents. let us know how u get on x

 

[deshulina]

Thank you so much girl for all your answers and all your support and help.Having support from you at this tough time ment a lot to me.Now I'm waiting on tests to see if everything is ok.And I will need to make my mind.Having you here make me realised that I'm taking my own decisions in life and I hope this will be a good one.Thank you xxxx !

 

[niknaks]

i was in your situation 5 years ago. i was 20 and ended up having a termination. i do feel like i regret it but what i regret more is getting pregnant at that time. and with this pregnancy im constantly thinking back to what could have been. it wasnt the right time for me i was starting a new course and me and my ex split up. but i know i made the right decision because i couldnt have given it half the things i can give to this baby. there were certain people who had their opinions but this is yours and your partners life you need to do whats right for the both of you and figure out how a baby would fit into your life right now if it does at all. and if you do decide to have a termination id say take the councelling, thats the biggest mistake i ever did was not take it. xxx

 

[Rachel1509]

I was in your situation with this pregnancy when I first found out first baby and first time being pregnant. I've only just turned 20 and found out at 19 that I was pregnant. Was a complete and utter surprise and I had no idea how I felt about it at the time, yet the OH had already decided he wanted it, despite our situation being a bit fragile and unstable.
I had talks with certain members of my family about it which in the end didn't influence my decision as I expected it to. It was my own decision that came out of nowhere. I just began thinking of how amazing the baby was and what a miracle it is and how its meant to be, which made me decide I was going to go through with it and now I'm happier then ever!

Only you can decide. I did a test at 5 weeks and got positive obviously, and it took me about 3 weeks to finally make my decision. Don't leave it too late, but give yourself chance to come round to the idea and you'll find yourself just suddenly swaying towards one choice more then the other

Good Luck