Scared..worried...annoyed..overwhelmed..you name it!

[Mimimouse89]

Ok so this morning me and my bf had a brief talk about money for when the babies born and now I'm feeling very overwhelmed with the whole thing!

He's a teacher and earns a decent wage but when I start my maternity leave my pay is not going to be all that great especially when I go onto the governments 128 a week or whatever it is, and I'm worried that with the stress of having our first baby, AND worrying about having less money that we're gonna end up killing eachother!

Did anyone else have this worry or this situation? Having alot less money than him puts alot of stress on him obviously but also means itll probably be taken out on me while I'm adjusting to a whole new life. I just don't know how to prepare for all of this or whether I can't and just have to figure it out when it happens..

The way things look I may have to go back to full time work after 9 months (which I didn't want to do really) so that we have money again but then childcare is really expensive anyway!!

Sorry this is long and boring I just know that talking to him about it honestly would probably end up in an argument or tears I just need some advice and no-one I call (jobcentre etc) seem to help at all. How did you guys cope and is there any financial help or chilcare help available if you're not on benefits and you've been working until the baby?? There doesnt seem to be..

x x

 

[Constantstar]

I feel the same. Looking at working full time means a nursery place costing about 800 a month ! So no idea what we r going to do yet! I'd rather stay at home and look after baby to be honest but dont think other halfs wages will stretch we gotta make dime decisions but we got a while x

 

[snr1982]

Well i know we are going to struggle as we just have enough for mortgage, bills and everyday things, there isn't usually a lot left for extras. so with a baby god knows what we are going to do but do you konw what, it ain't worth fighting about or getting stressed over. Money is something we never argue about. As far as we think you either have it or you don't and some how we manage to get by . god knows what is going to happen when I stop working! and paying for nursery fees.. well im not even going to think about that right now.. we will just wing it when the time comes

 

[nmf1987]

i have the opposite problem. i earnt more money than oh. he is only down as taking £500 a month but very rarely takes more than £200. (runs his dads company). i havent been working for my company long enough for them to pay me so am now hoping i am entitled to maternity allowence. i have had to give up work early to give me chance to try and sort housing benefit etc before my holiday pay from work stops.

i just spoke to the jobcentre to see if there is anyting else we can claim to help us but they said no. working tax credits we are already getting so doesnt really help us. obviously we will get child tax credits and stuff when baby is here but i hate the not knowing.

im sure it will be fine hun. i just sit and work out exactly what we pay out and how much we will still need to find etc. xxx

 

[Xcitedmum]

I never actually realised how much little people cost! I am a tad overwhelmed with how much we still need to spend in order to be ready for when baby is here!

I am not sure what benefits etc you are entitled to but I would recommend that you start buying nappies and wipes and things when you are out and about. I have been doing this so that it is not as much of a shock when baby is here. I even bought a tub of aptimil today to get me started on the food bit! I have bought 2 big boxes of newborn nappies and am stocking up on wipes and things as I go. I have also bought all the bottles and bits and bobs to ease some pressure.

We still need to get some of the big things like our pram but I trying to do a bit at a time (have bought travel cot and changing station and monitors and things like that) but intend to go in the next couple of weeks and do the super shop that will mean we have the nursery furniture and everything else before baby is born.

I have been very lucky in that my 2 sisters and brother have picked one thing each to buy for us which is great - its all getting me very excited!

 

[Mimimouse89]

Aww thanks everyone for your replies. Yeah to be honest ive realised its not worth getting stressed over cos we want to enjoy the baby and so we'll just make the most of what we have and we should be ok. the government sucks for not helping out working people more but what can u do!

we had a chat about my worries and hes been sweet and reassured me that altho it may be stressful at times its no-ones fault and that we can get thru it together and enjoy our new family..

buying nappies in advance is a great idea, i was thinking about it the other day in the supermarket but then sometimes i get so confused with all the brands and sizes and types of nappy i dont know where to start and give up lol...

anyway thanks everyone i feel a bit better about things now, still got a couple of months to go so im gonna make the most of my pregnancy and try not to worry too much before ive even had him! x

 

[midnight]

for those that have spare cash now babies r us have a sale on at the mo and real bargains

huggies wipes are £4.99 for a pack of 6 they are normally £2.49 per pack when there is no offers on at places

 

[Xcitedmum]

minnie I just bought 2 boxes of huggies size 1 which are for newborn. Not sure how much they cost - I got them in the asda sale (wanted pampers size 1 but they had none left!). I intend to buy a few more packets rather than boxes just to be sure I have enough to get me started.

Will buy 2 boxes of size 2 and then just wing it after that. Yip buying all these wee bits and bobs now will really take the pressure off later - Aptamil is around £9 a box so I intend to start stocking up on it too x