Scared to have sex

[SugaryIris]

ok, so I’m about 5 weeks now and I haven’t dtd with dh for probably about 10 days. I know we aren’t breaking any records for abstinence but it’s a while for us, especially since we have been dtd every two days basically for 2 years whilst ttc.

I’ve had 3 chemicals before and it’s made me very nervous about another loss. I know sex doesn’t cause miscarriages but in the last chemical I started bleeding during/after sex.

I think dh is starting to get a bit neglected, and I would still like to have a good sex life with him, but I’m scared, what if something happens?

Any advice on how to get over it from ladies with similar fears and managed to have sex and be ok?

 

[CrazyChic]

I was the same when I was pregnant with DD, I think it was more to do with tiredness and sickness, our sex life improved when I started feeling more human again

 

[Elfs Mummy]

I was the same. I struggled until I hit 20 weeks. My oh just sucked it up and had to deal with it x

 

[MoominGirl]

Have to say I was very put off during Tri 1. Big part of it was once the exhaustion kicked in, it was enough of an effort just to do the essentials each day! That was my only real symptom in the early weeks but once that passed, my interest in sex increased a lot. If you really don't feel up to it at the moment, you may well find that you feel a lot different about it in just a few short weeks and that tri 2 more than makes up for it. You will also have had your 12 week scan and I think you mentioned an early scan too.

 

[SugaryIris]

Yes, I’ve got a scan booked for the 14th September, I’ll be 7 weeks then. I’m hoping that will help my anxiety a lot.

I’m still sure it’s all a cruel joke!

 

[WinterWolf]

I was really sick from weeks 3-20 so hubby had to just deal for a long time. After that there was a kicking baby and it was just weird for me so we didn't do it much then either. I felt bad but in the grand scheme of things it's not long. I know people who've completely sworn off dtd for the entire 9 months! Your husband will live and should be understanding, it's hard to grow a human!!

 

[night owl]

I never felt like it much when I was pregnant, I certainly don’t feel like it now I have a 4 month old lol, if you are worried about the actual act of it because of your previous MCs you could get a bit creative and do things which don’t involve penetration? X

 

[Aprilxxx]

I kind of agree with all the ladies comments. Sex isn’t easy when your not feeling great and your anxious then you do have a kicking baby so it feels odd. Me and my partner where told not to have sex for a few weeks when I hit 19 weeks due to complications but since that we’ve rarely been intimate ..it actually now hurts me. My bf understands and it’s usually me that gets upset over it. Your hubby should be u understanding but if he’s not and your up for it there’s other things yous could try that doesn’t involve full sex xxx

 

[Kitana]

We still dtd regularly, about twice a week. Since week 11 or so I've been really craving it all the time. It's probably hormonal but as long as it feels good, and I'm not in pain or bleeding, I don't see the harm. I honestly think it's better for your life as a couple too, but if you're scared I would ask a midwife or GP for some advice!x